More advice on dating required...

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Joel Mack, Nov 17, 2002.

  1. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

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    Dear Abby,
    Here's my befuddling situation:
    I met this girl a couple of months ago, while out walking my dog (good dog!). We exchanged names and apartment numbers in the friendly "if you ever need anything" sort of way.
    However, because we're in different buildings I rarely get a chance to see her, unless it's again by doggy-chance. Because of this, we've only spoken three other times in that two-month span, the most recent being last Friday night. There've been a couple of smile/wave incidents in that time, too.
    I'm attracted to her, and I think maybe she's attracted to me (I don't know for sure what that looks like [​IMG] ), and I've finally decided I want to ask her out. However, I don't know how to go about it. Do I wait for the next chance meeting (who know when that'll be?) and make it look like a more "off the cuff" thing, or should I just "show up at her door" and ask her out? What are the possibilities of being confused for a creepy semi-stalker if I choose the latter?
    Any thoughts? TIA...
     
  2. Grant B

    Grant B Producer

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    Maybe a friendly, "if you ever need someone to watch or feed your dog, let me know...here's my number"
    If shes interested, maybe youll get hers in return.
    Good Luck!
     
  3. Robert_eb

    Robert_eb Supporting Actor

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    I'd just go over there and ask her out. She did give you her apartment number. I don't think she would have given in it to ya if she thought you were a creep. Even if you two don't hit it off, at the very least have a new friend who may have some hot girlfriends.
     
  4. Evan S

    Evan S Cinematographer

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    I agree with Robert. It's been two months. If you were stalking her, you would have been pestering her from day one. Just be honest. Hey, I've seen you a couple times since we first met and I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner sometime. If she smiles and waves and has given you her apartment number, that's enough of a green light for you to go on. I wouldn't wait till the next chance meeting. I would just head over there sometime. Take the risk...if it doesn't go your way, you are no worse off than you are now.
     
  5. LDfan

    LDfan Supporting Actor

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    Hell Man go for it. Life is way to short for a missed opportunity. Give her a call and see where it goes from there. You will never know unless you try.

    You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    Jeff
     
  6. Scott Bourden

    Scott Bourden Second Unit

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  7. AllanN

    AllanN Supporting Actor

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    Just go over there and ask her out. The worst she can say is no, if so its her loss.
     
  8. JonZ

    JonZ Lead Actor

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    I agree with Robert and Allan.

    No need to be shy or worry. Just do it.
     
  9. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    You "hey it's Joel, rmember how we said we'ed call each other if we needed anything"

    Her "Of course, what do you need"

    You " well I put in a long week at work, and was looking at going for a bite to eat and a movie so I could relax. Iwas wondering if you'd like to join me"

    Her "??????"

    You go Joel

    Brent
     
  10. Moe Maishlish

    Moe Maishlish Supporting Actor

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    Joel,
    GO FOR IT!
    There's nothing worse than a missed opportunity, especially when either of you are unavailable, and you come to the realization that something might have happened if only one of you had taken the risk and said something!
    This has happened to me on a couple of occasions, when so-and-so is with someone and I hear from a friend of theirs "you know, she really liked you, but now she's with that-guy". I then kick myself repeatedly for missing out on a good opportunity. [​IMG]
    Recently however, someone I met this past summer contacted ME (instead of the usual guy-puts-effort-into-chasing-woman), and we've hit it off pretty well...
    Take the plunge my friend. You'll thanks yourself later... and if things don't work out the way you want them to, at least you won't be asking yourself that dreadful "what if..." in the future.
    If I were you, I'd try and find her phone-number and call her instead of showing up unexpectedly at her door... it would probably be easier for both of you to interact that way first. Talk for a bit, feel and out, and proceed accordingly.
    Good luck! [​IMG]
    Moe.
     
  11. Danny Tse

    Danny Tse Producer

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    Like the Nike ads say: "Just Do It"
     
  12. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

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    Joel, I'm gonna agree with everyone else and say go for it!

    It seems as though she enjoys seeing you, so I don't think you'll be shut down if you try to take things further, so get on it!
     
  13. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

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    Thanks for the advice/encouragement, gang! [​IMG]
    Since her number is unlisted, I'll probably have to just drop by her place...
    I'll let you know how it goes...
     
  14. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    Good. If you had called her, I think you would have come across as a semi-stalker.

    ~T
     
  15. Joe Szott

    Joe Szott Screenwriter

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    Joel,

    I don't want to discourage you, but I wouldn't go over and just ask her out. That could be a little creepy and put you both in an awkward situation (if she isn't interested, she has to dump you straight out.) Find an excuse, any excuse to knock on her door and talk a bit. Here are some good excuses I just made up for you:

    * Tell her you need someone to look in on your dog while you take a quick trip and have no one in the area that can do it then. You can even tell her the trip was cancelled later if you have no trip coming up.

    * The old cup o' sugar routine: go over and ask to borrow some sort of common item that everyone usually has. Liquid Draino, an egg for a soffle (sp?) you are baking, anything.

    When you get back from the trip or using the item, ask her if she would like to grab a bite of dinner or get some coffee. If she says yes, you are home free for a real date. If she says no, no big deal. If you ease into it like that you can take the water temp gradually and it is easy for her to say no without costing you face.

    One more tidbit: be very prepared to be turned down and don't let any disappointment show. If she says she is busy, just smile and say "Sure, maybe some other time..." I've had girls I've invited out in the past come back days/weeks/months/years later and want to go out since I left it open-ended and played it cool.

    Go get to know her bud!
     
  16. Elizabeth S

    Elizabeth S Producer

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  17. Thi Them

    Thi Them Producer

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    Joel will have to wait until their next encounter, if it ever happens, to ask for her number. I think it'd be wierd if he tells her he got the number from the phone book or Internet.
    Perhaps you could wait in an area a little bit away from her apartment where you know she has to pass through. Wear some jogging clothes and have a bottle of water. When you see her, just pretend you are taking a break. [​IMG]
    ~T
     
  18. Dan Lindley

    Dan Lindley Second Unit

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    1. Yes wierd to show up at apartment BUT she did give out the apt number... SO go but bring the dog.

    2. HOWEVER, try the hanging out method in Thi Them's post first for a week or two.

    3. When you ask her out, ask her out for coffee (or somesuch) in the most innocent and public place. I would even veer away from dinner.

    Bottom line: give her every reason to say yes, and no reason to have doubts or fears. If she is at all normal and worth your time, she'll respect you for asking and she'll appreciate the compliment.

    Go for it!

    And don't forget, even if she says no, learning how to ask folks out is a lifetime skill. Or should I better say a great skill until you get married. Ahem, yes, that's much better.
    DL
     
  19. Joel Mack

    Joel Mack Cinematographer

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    Ah...additional suggestions....now my brain hurts. [​IMG]
    I wouldn't technically be just knocking on her door. I'll have to "call" her from the security box outside the building entrance, first... Hmmmmm...
     
  20. Blu

    Blu Screenwriter

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    www.seduction.com
    It is the ground work for talking to women that no one ever taught us in HS. If you are less than hot looking, older than her, younger than her, not her type, or anything you think she wouldn't find appealing to you I recommend it. If nothing else you can learn to chat with women very well and actually have them going through the same thing you are going through right now man, she would be asking her friends, "should I or shouldn't I?"
    Amazing stuff man!
     

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