Massholes.............

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Mark Sherman, Aug 10, 2005.

  1. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    Here is something for my fellow HTF's in and around the Boston area.




    1.You think crosswalks are for wimps

    2. You think if someone is nice to you that they either want something, or they are from out of town and lost

    3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds

    4. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak english

    5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you

    6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can

    7. The transportation system is known as the "T"

    8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house

    9. Subway is a fast food place

    10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house

    11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino", you know what they're talking about, and believe it, too (well, at least you USED to)

    12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy

    13. If you stay on the same road long enough, it eventually has three different names.
    14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green

    15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green

    16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving.

    17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to.

    18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting.

    19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definitely a "heat wave" and 63 degrees is "a little on the warm side"

    20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor or actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie...if you don't have it, then you're never going to get it, even if you were born here

    21. At the ice cream shop, you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies".

    22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last

    23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow

    24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit

    25. You know what they sell at a "packie"

    26. You have never been to the Cheers bar

    27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.

    28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King

    29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round

    30. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie, and a Frank

    31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS

    32. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left

    33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop

    34. You know what a "regular coffee" is

    35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem

    36. You have been to Fenway Park

    37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the 'evil empire'

    38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you

    39. When someone calls you a "masshole", you take it as a compliment

    40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence

    41. You know what a frappe is

    42. Saint Patrticks Day is your second favorite holiday

    43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you

    44. You never say "Cape Cod"; you say "the cape"

    45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school

    46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day

    47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters

    48. You know the Mass Pike is some strange weather dividing line

    49. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space

    50. You actually get all of these jokes,
     
  2. Kevin Tx

    Kevin Tx Extra

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    #43- This Texan says THANK YOU!!!!
    I would really like to get the Black Lager here that isn't only in the Brewmaster packs.[​IMG]
     
  3. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    You are welcome.



    [​IMG]
     
  4. Jeff Gatie

    Jeff Gatie Lead Actor

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    1.You think crosswalks are for wimps
    Check
    2. You think if someone is nice to you that they either want something, or they are from out of town and lost
    Check
    3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds
    Check
    4. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak english
    Check Cab drivers too!
    5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you
    Nope, don't tailgate anymore, but I used to
    6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can
    Check
    7. The transportation system is known as the "T"
    Check
    8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house
    Check
    9. Subway is a fast food place
    Check
    10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house
    Check (11 in my town alone, 4 within walking distance of my home)
    11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino", you know what they're talking about, and believe it, too (well, at least you USED to)
    Check (except I didn't believe it)
    12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy
    Nope, not me
    13. If you stay on the same road long enough, it eventually has three different names.
    Check
    14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green
    Check
    15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green
    Check
    16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving.
    Check
    17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to.
    Check
    18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting.
    Check
    19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definitely a "heat wave" and 63 degrees is "a little on the warm side"
    Check (actually, a heat wave is 90 degrees and 100% humidity)
    20. You cringe everytime you hear some actor or actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie...if you don't have it, then you're never going to get it, even if you were born here
    Check I'll never forget the time a poster here at HTF said "Ben Affleck - Worst Boston accent ever!" [​IMG]
    21. At the ice cream shop, you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies".
    Check
    22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last
    Check
    23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow
    Check
    24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit
    Check (wustah, havar-ill, Cuh-too-it)
    25. You know what they sell at a "packie"
    Check (hint, it ain't styrofoam peanuts or bubble wrap)
    26. You have never been to the Cheers bar
    Check Sort of, I used to hang there before, when it was the Bull&Finch and allowed underage drinking.
    27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater.
    Check
    28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King
    ????
    29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round
    Check
    30. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie, and a Frank
    Check
    31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS
    Check
    32. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left
    Check Every day!
    33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop
    Never But my Mom has...
    34. You know what a "regular coffee" is
    Check (w/ Cream and Sugar)
    35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem
    Check
    36. You have been to Fenway Park
    Check
    37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the 'evil empire'
    Check
    38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you
    Depends on how they drive
    39. When someone calls you a "masshole", you take it as a compliment
    Check
    40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence
    Check
    41. You know what a frappe is
    Check
    42. Saint Patrticks Day is your second favorite holiday
    Check (Since I'm a state worker, I actually get it off as a Suffolk county holiday, But it's officially called "Evacuation Day" - yeah, right...)
    43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you
    Nope
    44. You never say "Cape Cod"; you say "the cape"
    Check
    45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school
    Check Multiple times, along with Lexington and Concord and Salem, MA.
    46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day
    Check
    47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters
    Check
    48. You know the Mass Pike is some strange weather dividing line
    Check
    49. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space
    Check
    50. You actually get all of these jokes
    Check
     
  5. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    Congrats Jeff you are a MassHole...... But in a good way[​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  6. Eric Mitchell

    Eric Mitchell Stunt Coordinator

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    Great stuff. I only lived in Boston during college, but still said yup to most of those. [​IMG] Driving in the midwest just isn't the same. Not as exciting.
     
  7. Jeff Gatie

    Jeff Gatie Lead Actor

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    Like there's a bad way???
     
  8. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    True Very True
     
  9. Jim_C

    Jim_C Cinematographer

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    I said yes to 46 of them. Definitely a Masshole.
     
  10. Joe Szott

    Joe Szott Screenwriter

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    #51 - You make lists that are way, way too long for lazy message board readers to absorb.
     
  11. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    Spoken like a person not from the Boston area [​IMG]
     
  12. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    Those definitely apply down here in CT, and those that don't...I've been to Boston enough times (and there are enough MASS drivers on I-95) to know what they mean. [​IMG]
     
  13. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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    #52 - You believe in your delusions of grandeur that your city is comparable in any way to your "rival" of the south, NYC -- except it's not, you're dramatically smaller, less diverse, less interesting, more snotty, much more conservative and nowhere close to the world class juggernaut that NYC is [​IMG]

    And don't let a single world series victory make you believe otherwise [​IMG].

    --
    H - runs away.
     
  14. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  15. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    I LOVE how angry Yankees fans are at the fact that the Sox have won 1 championship since 1918. [​IMG]

    Now multiply that by 86 and you'll just begin to understand the anger we have toward you [​IMG]
     
  16. Christ Reynolds

    Christ Reynolds Producer

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    #53 - you read this entire list and thought about if it applied to you or not.
    living in plymouth, we seemed to go every damn year. just to be 'that guy', even though the current spelling is "plymouth", the plantation uses the original spelling, which is "plimoth". hopefully people will still be mad at holadem so my attention to unnecessary details will go unnoticed!

    CJ
     
  17. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    I was wondering when I would hear from you Christ[​IMG]
     
  18. Jeff Gatie

    Jeff Gatie Lead Actor

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    Nope, only in New England (mostly Mass) does a "regular" mean coffee w/ cream and sugar. Went into a Dunkin' Donuts in D.C. one time and asked for a "lahge regulah" and the guy gave me a Pepsi. When I said "I wanted a coffee regular" he replied "How the heck am I supposed to remember what you drink, I've never seen you before." I then knew I was not in my "Kansas" anymore.
     
  19. Mark Sherman

    Mark Sherman Supporting Actor

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    Holy shit thats funny.


    another thing I could add to the list. when Visiting friends in the south west and they ask if you want to get some seafood........you have to be kidding me.
     
  20. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    LOL - That sounds like the Back to The Future II "Pepsi Free/Tab" bit. [​IMG]
     

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