Joke of the Day

Kenneth

Supporting Actor
Joined
Jul 31, 1997
Messages
757
Good Advice From Kids
"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
-Patrick, age 10
"When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?'
Don't answer."
-Hannah, age 9
Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."
-Michael, age 14
"Stay away from prunes."
-Randy, age 9
"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to."
-Emily, age 10
"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let
her brush your hair."
-Taylia, age 11
"Never let your three-year old brother in
the same room as your school assignment."
-Traci, age 14
"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac."
- Andrew, age 9
"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time."
- Kyoyo, age 11
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."
-Amir, age 9
"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."
-Kellie, age 11
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."
-Naomi, age 15
"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."
-Lauren, age 9
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
-Joel, age 10
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your
Mom when she's on the phone."
-Alyesha, age 13
"Never try to baptize a cat."
-Eileen, age 8

Kenneth
 

Julie K

Screenwriter
Joined
Dec 1, 2000
Messages
1,962
Children's Books You Will Never See:
"You Were an Accident"
"Strangers Have the Best Candy"
"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"
"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"
"Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"
"All Dogs Go to Hell"
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"
"You Are Different and That's Bad"
"The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad"
"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"
"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"
"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"
"Start a Real-Estate Empire with the Change from Your Mom's Purse"
"The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy"
"Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will"
"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and Are Shot Dead"
"How to Become the Dominant Military Power in Your Elementary School"
"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"
"What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"
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My DVDs
"Some people think I'm over-prepared, paranoid...maybe even a little crazy. But they never met any pre-Cambrian life forms, did they?"
 

Kenneth

Supporting Actor
Joined
Jul 31, 1997
Messages
757
Some more:
Top 20 Rejected Children's Books
20. Where in the New York Area is Jimmy Hoffa?
19. The Unabomber Pop-Up Manifesto and Coloring Book
18. The Frog Formerly Known as Prince
17. Alice in WonderBraLand
16. The Legend of Three-Card Monte
15. 40 Whacks: Counting With Lizzie
14. The Little Engine That Could, If Only That Damned Gout Would Go Away
13. Girls Are From Venus, Boys Are From Cootieland
12. Where the Wildings Are
11. The Big Little Book of Necrophelia
10. The J. Edgar Hoover Dress-Up Book
9. Joe Camel and The Magic Cancer Stick
8. The Crack House at Pooh Corner
7. The Dummy's Guide to Crying
6. When Mommy Leaves Daddy, And What You Did to Cause It
5. Where's Waldo's Weewee?
4. The Dyslexic's Big Anagram Book
3. Barney's Bleeding and Nobody Can Help
2. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
Furious George Delivers the Mail

Kenneth
 

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