I've about had it with our roomate!!!

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Jason Tracewell, Jul 28, 2003.

  1. Jason Tracewell

    Jason Tracewell Stunt Coordinator

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    Okay, my wife and I (more my wife than I actually) was trying to be nice and offer a place to stay for her friend who wanted to move out of her parents house... Well, no faster than she moved in, she has started using my home theater equipment (mostly the DVD player) ALL THE TIME while we are not home....

    I recently bought a new DVD player (Denon 1805) and just pulled it out of the box this last weekend and set it up over the weekend...

    My wife and I come home for lunch today and find her sitting on the couch (she was sick [​IMG] ) watching movies on my new player!!! I have only calibrated it so far, *I* haven't even watched a movie on it yet!!! [​IMG]

    Soooo, knowing the player has a parental lock, I think I am going to implement it when I get home tonight (after she stops using it).. Do you think that will be enough of a deterrent or should I think of something else as a plan 'B' when she figures out a way around this...

    All I know right now is that I am pissed off and tired of her using my damn equipment... ESPECIALLY since she has a DVD player and TV sitting in her room!

    Okay, I had to vent, but I think I am done for now...

    Deep breath in... Deep breath out... [​IMG]
     
  2. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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    I fail to see the problem, but I am probably in the minority.

    --
    Holadem - Unless it was supposed to be tongue in cheek?
     
  3. Leila Dougan

    Leila Dougan Screenwriter

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    Instead of being somewhat passive-aggresive about the whole thing, why don't you tell her directly how you feel?

    Tell her in no uncertain terms that she will NOT use your equipment without prior permission. And if she does not abide by your rules, then she can find somewhere else to live.
     
  4. John_Berger

    John_Berger Cinematographer

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  5. Jason Tracewell

    Jason Tracewell Stunt Coordinator

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    Yes, I am probably being anal about this, but I feel that just because she lives there, she doesn't have the right to just use my equipment whenever she feels like it... Common courtesy is really all I ask...

    I am being more passive about the situation since she is my wife's friend.. Otherwise, we would have gotten into a big blowout argument a while ago... There are other things she does/doesn't do that also adds to the mix...

    If this plan of setting the parental lock doesn't work or if she asks why it is set, I will explain the whole senario to her, at which time if she doesn't like it, yes, she can find another place to live...

    I am just too nice of guy sometimes and let people do what they want cause I don't like to rock the boat... But sometimes, when it gets to a certain level, I can explode like a volcano...

    Should I mention she has no respect for other peoples property as well? I find my DVD's and CD's thrown around my AV cabinet like confetti all the time... I am very carefull with my stuff and then she comes in and puts them any place but back in the actual cases....

    Alright... I need to stop venting now......
     
  6. Ricardo C

    Ricardo C Producer

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    Just tell her how you feel and let her know she needs to ask before she uses your stuff. Do it INSTEAD of setting up the parental lock. Seriously. Passive-aggressive stuff like that can make matters worse.

    I personally don't see much harm in her using your DVD player, especially if it's in a common-access areas, like the family room (if you have a dedicated theater toom, then that's a diffwerent story), but leaving the software lying around? HELL no [​IMG] Definitely yell at her about that one.
     
  7. Scott L

    Scott L Producer

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    She should have asked you to use your equipment but this is one of the harsh realities of having a roomie, sharing. Since your stuff occupies part of the living area it is essentially supposed to be used when being in it. Just like if you bought a new expensive showerhead, would you expect her not to use it if she was in the shower?

    This is why it's nice to also lay down ground rules BEFORE she moves in, then she can decide whether she wants to live with you guys or not.
     
  8. John_Berger

    John_Berger Cinematographer

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  9. Nathan*W

    Nathan*W Screenwriter

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  10. Jason Tracewell

    Jason Tracewell Stunt Coordinator

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    Well the room is in the living room (no dedicated home theater just yet) but it's also where we watch regular TV and listen to music, all of which we can't do since she has 'claimed her spot'

    I don't mind that she watches movies on it, but I do mind when she does it without asking if it's okay first.. I think that's my biggest thing.. I mean, I haven't even finished setting everything up on the DVD player yet.. If she would have asked first, I could have told her not to use it until I was finished.. That, and she'll watch 3-5 movies in a row, leaving the discs all out and when she is done, doesn't turn off the equipment right.. Even though I have showed her multiple times on how to do it...

    Again, I think it's the lack of respect she has for my home theater equipment as well as other things in our house... I wish I would have had the foresight to bring this stuff up *before* she moved in... I have talked to my wife about it (she feels the same way) and she has brought up the situation on different occasions, but it hasn't really helped much.. Oh well.. I am hoping she only will be staying with us for a few months... *crosses fingers*
     
  11. Jason Tracewell

    Jason Tracewell Stunt Coordinator

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  12. Steven K

    Steven K Supporting Actor

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  13. mark alan

    mark alan Supporting Actor

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    you beat me to asking the important question Steven. It's a lot easier to find a replacement dvd than a good looking chick
     
  14. Jason Tracewell

    Jason Tracewell Stunt Coordinator

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  15. Ricardo C

    Ricardo C Producer

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  16. Nick Sievers

    Nick Sievers Producer

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  17. Alex-C

    Alex-C Screenwriter

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    Why don't you call in the wolf ?

    (see my locale)...haha.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Greg_R

    Greg_R Screenwriter

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  19. Jason_Els

    Jason_Els Screenwriter

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    Best thing to do is have the wife talk to the friend. If you talk to Miss DVD that puts your wife in the middle. You don't want to put the wife in the middle. I'm sure she's already feeling bad about bringing this woman in to begin with. Besides that, coming from your wife she will take the admonition more seriously and she will realize she would piss off both of you if she continued. Women have a wonderful way of discussing this kind of thing. Your wife will tell her while you aren't around and they'll both laugh it off as a, 'boys and their toys' kind of thing.

    Having a sit down with the three of you is not good either. Looks like you're ganging up on her. That would make her very uncomfortable and resentful. Ultimately she's a guest and that's no way to treat a guest.

    If she wants to use the HT why not have her help calibrate the stuff with you? Doing so you know she'll get a lesson in how to properly operate the equipment and she will realize just how touchy you are about your HT. This will help defuse the situation, make her aware how much of "your baby" your HT is, AND, if you allow her to continue to use it, you'll know she is going to do so responsibly.

    Setting the parental controls without telling her is CLASSIC passive-aggressive behavior and that will get you no where. It will leave her upset because then she will end up wondering if there are other things she does that piss you off and aren't telling her about, if you or your wife did it, and what your true feelings are about her staying with you. It will end ugly. You will be mad, your wife will have an angry husband and have lost a friend, and you won't have gained anything.
     
  20. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    "Do you think that will be enough of a deterrent or should I think of something else as a plan 'B' when she figures out a way around this..."

    If she finds a way around it you'll know about it!! Unless she can guess your code and reset it every week!!

    This started out as a SMALL problem, but the more you desribe it the more it looks like she has taken over, and that HAS TO STOP!!

    Talk to your wife one evening before bed, and tell her everything that's bothering you about her friend. I'm sure she knows how you keep your equipment and would understand you.

    I would say that a "move out date" should be set VERY soon!! Give her a couple months, but make it firm!!

    She never should have taken over, she should have blended in! Her lifestyle takes a backseat to yours! It should, it's your house!!!

    Brent
     

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