It's Not Just At Movies: Cell Phones, etc (1 Viewer)

[Shayne Lebrun]

'Children should be seen and not heard.'

See, this phrase has always pissed me off, personally. My kids have just as much right to be heard as I do; it's just that I personally know when it's appropriate to speak, and when it's not. My kids aren't allowed to speak and run around at the movie theatre, and hey, guess what, neither am I. The phrase here would be 'movie goers should be seen, and not heard.'

But, my kids are well trained that to break into a conversation, they do what an adult would do; make a little visual signal, tap somebody's elbow during a silent moment and say 'excuse me,' whatever. But they'll be heard, because their wants, needs, and concerns are just as valid as mine.

 

[SteveA]

and if you don't control your children in this situation, I sure as hell will.

If any stranger ever attempts to "control" my child I'll knock his fucking teeth out. And no, I don't take my toddler to the movies or the ballet. Children occasional make noise. Accept it.

 

[Todd Hochard]

not learning the discipline it takes to discipline your own child.

- not exactly the moniker of an unconcerned parent, eh?
Todd

 

[Ryan Wright]

If any stranger ever attempts to "control" my child I'll knock his fucking teeth out.

And you'll go to jail, and the person whose teeth you knocked out will own your house and everything in it by the time you're done.
Furthermore, if you expect a complete stranger to idly stand by while your child repeatedly hits him in the groin or otherwise exhibits serious misbehavior, you're in for a real surprise. I am not suggesting a stranger put your child over his knee and give him a spankin'. But if it were me being hit, I would grab the little shit by his arm, drag him to his parents and insist that they put a stop to his behavior. That is what I call "controlling your child".
EDITED.

 

[SteveA]

I would grab the little shit by his arm, drag him to his parents

And you'd be going to jail.

 

[Tim Markley]

And you'd be going to jail.

Going to jail for grabbing a kid by the arm and taking him to his parents??? I don't think so.

 

[Todd Hochard]

Interesting that we're talking about children not being able to control themselves, and yet right here, we have two adults.:rolleyes
I think I've found a use for the Ignore list.

 

[Zen Butler]

There's little I hate more than going to a medium-priced dining establishment and sitting next to a family who's children think they are at Chuck E. Cheese

Exactly, which shows you there are places to take your child and let them blow off their steam. I think this is great for them. They should be taught what behavior is appropriate in various situations. The responsibilty sure lies with parents. I certainly didn't blame that boy for going Rocky III on my sack. I directed my comments to his mother, who seemed to think that this was normal behaviour that should be tolerated by me. Never blame the poor child, obviously he/she isn't being taught well.

 

[JamieD]

These kinds of topics rarely go well, as personal emotions about a freedom of choice run high, and of course involving different styles of child raising will not make things better.:frowning:
Though I certainly do not have any of the authority of our Admins, I'm sure they're dismayed when they see topics start to turn this way. Personally, I agree that there are places where bringing your child can annoy and aggravate the rest of the population, and it is more appropriate to be mindful of others. However, Steve's response, however inappropriate the choice of words and temper might be, also shows the fervor with which a parent will defend their child and the ability to raise it as they choose. However, there is no reason for us as adults to fall to this kind of behaviour.
Guys, please, let's show each other the respect we'd like others to show us and try to watch our temper.

 

[Shayne Lebrun]

Well, like I said, or tried to say at least, there's lots of *adults* who don't understand when it's appropriate or not appropriate to be heard; it has nothing, intrinsically, to do with being a child.

As to controlling your child, here's two of my favourite stories.

One day, I took my daughter to the park. She was four or so. Another child; seven, maybe eight, started, for no readily discernable reason, throwing rocks at her, and swearing at her like the proverbial sailor. So I went up to his mother, who was jawing away with some other woman, and I told her, 'Ma'am, your child is pelting mine with rocks, and swearing at her. That is inappropriate, and I would like it stopped.' She turned to me, saying, and I kid you not, 'Well, he watches South Park with his older brother, so what can you do?' and with a shrug, she turned back to her conversation.

Another day, I was pushing my two year old daughter on a swing, when another kid, I couldn't really ID his age, but five to ten, decided it would be a really really fun idea to grab an empty swing, and whip it sideways at her, trying to knock her off of her swing. I grabbed the swing, stopping it, then turned, and noting that the child's caregivers were nowhere to be seen; probably 'watching' the child from a nearby apartment building window, by the way, said in a loud voice 'What do you think you're doing? You could have seriously injured my daughter!' at which point *my own wife* dragged me off and told me how embarassed she was that I was 'making a scene.'

A lot of parents these days simply cannot be bothered, in my experience, to 'parent' their child. They're scared, perhaps, of being seen as abusive; in this day and age, a kid can always try yelling 'daddy, you're hurting me!' and will instantly be set upon by rank of overzealous samaritans. Or perhaps they simply can't be bothered, and prefer to let the television raise them. In either event, it is to a very very large extent, the sins of the parents when the children mis-behave.

But, on the other hand, the children can't learn proper behaviour unless they're put into situations where they must behave.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

My parents greatest love was fine dining. Since they had seven kids, we did not get to go that often (neither did they after the bills were payed). As my brothers and sisters got older and moved out, there was more money for dining out. My parents indulged me and their two youngest with trips to fine establishments. We could go to a 5-star with them if we wanted, we just had to act accordingly (which was 70's parent speak for "embarrass me and I'll kill you"). Because my parents brought us along and taught us decorum, I was able to dine in some exquisite restaurants and experience what every kid wants - to be an adult. I just can't fathom the parent who pacifies a kid screaming "I don't like those chicken fingers, I like the other kind" or running around a table bumping people when I had a little brother who would eat a dozen escargot and could distinguish a good veal chop from a bad one at age 10.

 

[Moe Maishlish]

I was on a date at a medium-class restaurant last year with the "family from hell" at about three tables away.
Children were misbehaving badly, and parents were doing absolutly nothing to control them. They were screaming, throwing their utensils on the floor (and each other), and getting out of their chairs, crawling under the table, around running around the table. Basiclly everyone in the restaurant was being disturbed by this family.
The restaurant manager asked the adults at the table to control the kids once. After this attempt, when their behaviour got no better, the manager told the parents that they would not be charged for their meal, but they must leave the premisis immediately.
They did. Screaming children in tow. After my meal I thanked the manager (as did many others), and left a great tip for the overwrought waitress (who was also waiting on the "family from hell").
I don't expect that every restaurant owner/manager will let a bill slide in such a situation, and I don't expect that family will return to that restaurant anytime soon...
... but I have, on numerous occasions!

 

[Julie K]

Wal-Mart shopper attacked after imitating crying baby
"Prosecutors said a Kansas City man shopping at a Wal-Mart store grabbed a baseball bat from a shelf and attacked a man who had made a remark about a crying baby."
You know, every damn time I think my opinion of humanity has reached an all-time low, something like this comes up and sinks it even further.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Reminds me of when world class chef Jasper White got sued because he ousted a particularly obnoxious woman from his restaurant in Boston. She called Jasper out of the kitchen to complain about the quality of her steak. Jasper asked if it was cooked to her order. She said yes. He asked if it was prepared according to the description on the menu. She said yes. He then asked what her problem was. She said that the quality was not worth what she was paying for it. Jasper asked her to leave his establishment (actually his exact words were "Get out, there is obviously no pleasing you, get out of here!"). She sued for mental anguish . . . and lost.

If anyone has ever eaten at one of Jasper's restaurants, you would know how silly this woman's complaint was. The quality of his food is always impeccable.

 

[Yee-Ming]

bleh.

today in the forum pages of the local newspaper, there was a letter from someone who said that he/she (don't remember) came across an incident while riding the MRT (i.e. subway) where a child (presumably between 2-4) wanted to take a leak. the parents thereafter proceeded to help the child to take that leak, there and then in the train.

when the letter-writer confronted them and objected, saying "how can you let your child urinate here on the train" (or something like that), the parents responded, why not, it's just a child, or something like that.

the writer noted in the letter that there are nice clean toilets at every station, and that they are free to use (i.e. no charge is levied). so why couldn't the parents tell the child to hold it, disembark at the next stop and go to the toilet?

my goodness. how much lower can they go?

 

[Mark C Sherman]

I too was brought up under the Guise of" ACT UP AND I WILL KILL YOU" I turned out fine. I was able to Dine with my parents go to the movies ETC. I remember going out to Dinner with my parents and their friends for dinner( I was 6-7 at the time and my parents couldn't find a Baby sitter) My Parents friends were in shock when I order my own meal including Sides and what type of dressing I wanted.

 

[Scott Strang]

Children should be seen and not heard..

That philosophy has been around for many years and it makes me cringe as much today as the first time I ever heard it.

My parents >>>NEVER