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Directors It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Ensemble Comedy Draft!

Discussion in 'Movies' started by Walt Riarson, Jun 1, 2003.

  1. Walt Riarson

    Walt Riarson Supporting Actor

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    The next huge ensemble comedy hit coming out of Hollywood will be produced by YOU! Yes, you! Thanks to this draft, you get to play producer.

    Here is what you, the producer, will be choosing for your ensemble comedy...

    16 Actors (Male/Female Mix However You Want, Leading/Supporting/Cameo Mix However You Want) - Actors and actresses may come from any time period in Hollywood’s history and may be living or dead. Heck, you can even have up to 3 Animated Characters/Actors make guest appearances in your film, if you so wish. Just make sure that they are appropriate for the type of comedy you are choosing (See “Sub-Genre” below). For instance, Popeye the Sailor Man and Daisy Duck probably wouldn’t be appropriate for a teen sex comedy. (Or would they? [​IMG])
    Writer - Can also be an actor or director. You can, but don’t have to, choose up to three Writers for your film.
    Director - Can also be an actor or writer. You can, but don’t have to, choose up to three Directors for your film.
    Title - Pick whatever you want, here.
    Sub-Genre (Buddy/Cop Flick, Spoof, Political Satire, Romantic Comedy, Slapstick, Family Comedy, Comedy/Fantasy Adventure, Religious Satire, Sex Comedy, Horror Comedy, etc.) - You can use these or any other Sub-Genre that you can think of, however, no two people may have the same Sub-Genre.

    As of now, that is all we will be choosing. However, as the draft goes along, I may think of a couple of other things for us to add. I will let everyone know. Also, if anyone has any ideas, feel free to suggest them.

    Why so many actors? I figured with fewer actors being chosen, most of the “big guns” would be immediately snatched up, and an ensemble full of nothing but the major comedy stars would be kinda dull. I’d like to see what kind of “out there” mix-n-match choices we can come up with. For instance...your film may have Steve Martin, Ben Stiller, or Robin Williams in starring roles, but once most of the bigger names have already been chosen by everyone, will you cast Bobcat Goldthwait in a supporting role, or will it be Judge Reinhold?

    As you can see, this isn’t a stuffy, serious draft. This is meant for people to simply have fun with.

    I haven’t decided yet how we will be judging the winner. If anyone has suggestions, once again, feel free to pass them along.

    As of now, there will be no time limits. Like I said, this draft won’t be all stuffy and strict. Just meant for fun. However, if someone is behind in their picks, I will private message them. The rest of us will move on and they can catch up later.

    Well, I suppose that is all for now.

    What do you guys think? Anybody want to play?


    EDIT: Here is the Master List of the entrants and their choices...
    Walt Riarson
    Actors
    1. 'Curly' Howard
    2. John Candy
    3. Chris Farley
    4. Benny Hill
    5. Gilda Radner
    6. Rick Ducommun
    7. Rodney Dangerfield
    8. Goldie Hawn
    9. Peter Sellers
    10. G.W. Bailey
    11. "Weird Al" Yankovic
    12. Madeline Kahn
    13. Andy Richter
    14. Mark Holton
    15. Britt Ekland
    16. Mr. T
    17. Jenny McCarthy
    18. Randy Quaid
    Directors: David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker.
    Writers: Benny Hill, John Candy, and Harold Ramis.
    Sub-Genre: Madcap Slapstick Romp.
    Title: Pound For Pound
    Plot: "Four wealthy wives (Gilda Radner, Madeline Kahn, Goldie Hawn, Britt Ekland) send their hefty husbands (John Candy, Chris Farley, Curly, Benny Hill) off to a unique fat camp for middle-aged men, run by a vicious, fat-hating tyrant (G.W. Bailey)."

    John Kilduff
    Actors
    1. Sherri Stoner
    2. Harold Lloyd
    3. Daryl Hannah
    4. Judy Holliday
    5. David Alan Grier
    6. Jane Krakowski
    7. Penn Jillette
    8. Paul Reubens
    9. Elisabeth Shue
    10. Al Pacino
    11. Mae West
    12. Dave Chappelle
    13. Tress MacNeille
    14. Jack Benny
    15. Tracey Ullman
    16. Peter Wolf
    17. Catherine Mary Stewart
    18. Mary Elisabeth Mastrantonio
    Directors: Richard Benjamin, Susan Seidelman and Tony Scott.
    Writers: Phil Hartman, Deanna Oliver, and Paul Rugg.
    Sub-Genre: Comedic Thriller
    Title: Killing Joke
    Plot: ""A group of comedians (Stoner, Lloyd, Holliday, Grier, Krakowski, Jillette, Shue West, Chappelle, MacNeille, Ullman) must combine their humorous talents with heavy weaponry to defeat a murderer (Pacino) going after the club owners (Benny, Reubens, Hannah) who rejected him. Caught between the vigilantes and the psychopath are two cops (Mastrantonio and Stewart) who both want to be comics as well. The humor comes from Stoner's sexual jokes, Lloyd's physical comedy, Holliday's dumb-blonde act, MacNeille and Ullman's impressions and vocal talents, Grier and Chappelle's wise-ass observances of the California scene, Krakowski's singing of tasteless songs written by her foul-mouthed boyfriend Jillette, Shue's pop-culture riffs, West's double entendres, Pacino's routines he recites as he disposes of his enemies, Benny's deadpan humor (including the inevitable "Your money or your life?" routine), Reubens' absurdist poetry and Hannah's Valley Girl-makes-good lines. Wolf narrates the movie in song."

    Scott Weinberg
    Actors
    1. Bill Murray
    2. Jim Carrey
    3. Steve Zahn
    4. Mike Myers
    5. Robin Williams
    6. George Carlin
    7. Walter Matthau
    8. Jack Lemmon
    9. Janeane Garofalo
    10. Michael Palin
    11. John Laroquette
    12. Sarah Silverman
    13. Bender Bending Rodriguez
    14. Fozzie The Bear
    15. Phil Hartman
    16. Lionel Hutz
    17. Amy Poehler
    18. Jaime Pressly
    Director: Jonathan Lynn
    Writers: Ted Elliot and Terro Rossio
    Sub-Genre: Sex Comedy
    Title: Rotten Cheating Bastards
    Plot: "A Philadelphia neighborhood full of (mostly married) men finds itself the mark of a massive blackmailing scam when the fellows discover that they've all been having affairs with a pair of scheming sisters (Sarah Silverman & Jaime Pressly). With a third sister (Janeane Garofalo) acting as devious psychologist to the cadre of guilt-ridden men, the trio devise an elaborate scheme to squeeze every nickel they can from the cul-de-sac full of Rotten Cheating Bastards."

    Matt Stone
    Actors
    1. Steve Martin
    2. John Goodman
    3. Dan Aykroyd
    4. Ben Stiller
    5. Owen Wilson
    6. Steve Buscemi
    7. Jack Black
    8. Christopher Walken
    9. Nicolas Cage
    10. John Cusack
    11. Ron Livingston
    12. Johnny Depp
    13. Adam Sandler
    14. Vince Vaughn
    15. Luke Wilson
    16. Jon Favreau
    17. Willem Dafoe
    18. Jason Lee
    Directors: Joel & Ethan Coen
    Writers: Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson
    Sub-Genre: Heist/Pursuit Comedy
    Title:
    Plot: "Small time crimial, and long time moron (Adam Sandler) rips of the wrong man...rich crime-boss Sergio "Baby-Hands" Malone (John Goodman). Baby-Hands sends 4 groups of bounty-hunters after Sandler, and shit really hits the fan when all four groups converge on Sandler at a local mall."

    Esten
    Actors
    1. Groucho Marx
    2. Ed O'Neill
    3. Richard Pryor
    4. Gene Wilder
    5. Jackie Gleason
    6. John Saxon
    7. Jennifer Jason Leigh
    8. George Wendt
    9. Phoebe Cates
    10. Robert Englund
    11. Julianne Moore
    12. Robert Shaye
    13. Betty White
    14. Judge Reinhold
    15. Richard Mulligan
    16. John Cameron Mitchell
    17. Jim Varney
    18. Gailard Sartain
    Directors: Renny Harlin and Alan Smithee
    Writer: Lewis Abernathy
    Sub-Genre: Action/Gangland-Era Comedy
    Title: The Misadventures of The Three Vodkateers
    Plot: "A gang of bootleggers(Robert Shaye,Robert Englund and Richard Pryor - The Three Vodkateers) run an underground alcohol factory,in early 20th Century Los Angeles.Englund constantly forgets what kind of bottlegging they do,and hilarity ensues.While an outfit of policemen(Jim Varney,Gene Wilder and his first time ever as a cop....John Saxon) try to stop the Vodkateers' operation.The best Action/Comedy since 3 Ninjas:High Noon At Mega Mountain."

    Ric Bagoly
    Actors
    1. Chevy Chase
    2. Eddie Murphy
    3. Charlie Chaplin
    4. John Cleese
    5. Burt Reynolds
    6. Rick Moranis
    7. Dave Thomas
    8. Dana Carvey
    9. Michael Richards
    10. Andrew Dice Clay
    11. Laraine Newman
    12. Jan Hooks
    13. Buddy Hackett
    14. Joe Pesci
    15. Tommy Chong
    16. Tara Reid
    17. Christina Applegate
    18. Dom Deluise
    Director: Stanley Kubrick
    Writers: Terry Southern and Buck Henry
    Sub-Genre: Road Comedy
    Title: Race To Hell: Cannonball Run IV
    Plot: "Wendell Williams (Chevy Chase), car racing fanatic and millionaire playboy (thanks to an inheritance from his late movie star father), decides to use his wealth to revive the legendary Cannonball "Sea To Shining Sea" race from Connecticut to California. He commissions his dad's former assistant (Buddy Hackett) to assemble the wildest field of racers ever, competing for a $2 million grand prize, much to the chagrin of the U.S. Attorney General (Jan Hooks), who is also a former girlfriend of Wendell's. Besides Wendell himself, the field features the aforementioned Blonde Bombshells, and with a healthy per diem fee, the legendary aging Cannonball racers J.J. McClure (Burt Reynolds) and his best friend Victor Princi aka Captain Chaos (Dom Deluise). Squaring off as well in the competition: Muslim militant Rasheed Muhammad Kal (Eddie Murphy), equipped with a full arsenal as well as a bomb in his trunk, British Racing champion Dennis Calcutt (John Cleese), two drunken Canadian brothers (Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas) carrying two whole kegs in their backseat to "sustain" them, two schizo escaped mental patients (Dana Carvey, Michael Richards), hoping to use the prize money to "escape to Canada", a pair of Brooklyn tough guy mechanics (Andrew Dice Clay, Joe Pesci), who desperately need the prize money to pay off a debt to the mob, and an aging pot-smoking hippie (Tommy Chong), driving his van on a psychedelic journey across America. The drivers take off from the starting line, as the attorney general sets up roadblocks nationwide hoping to stick it to her ex-boyfriend, while Wendell on the road picks up a cute but ditzy free spirit (Laraine Newman) who falls in love with him (and his money). As the racers move across the country, the anarchic nature of it all helps the race (and America's highways) descend into total chaos. Add in a mysterious and silent hitchhiking Tramp (Charlie Chaplin) whose appearance always results in a major calamity for the unlucky racer who picks him up. Who will survive long enough to make it to the finish line?? Is the Doomsday Tramp actually the devil in disguise?? Will Captain Chaos get his hands on America's enemies to administer some justice??? Find out as Director Stanley Kubrick takes you on a Race To Hell!!"

    George Kaplan
    Actors
    1. Don Knotts
    2. Bob Hope
    3. Bing Crosby
    4. Cary Grant
    5. Danny Kaye
    6. Dick Van Dyke
    7. Bob Newhart
    8. Alec Guinness
    9. Jessica Rabbit
    10. Katherine Hepburn
    11. Billy Crystal
    12. Robert De Niro
    13. Peter Falk
    14. Eric Idle
    15. Sean Connery
    16. Daffy Duck
    17. Donald Duck
    18. Buster Keaton
    Directors: Stanley Kramer, Mel Brooks & John Hughes
    Writers: Mel Brooks, Billy Wilder, I.A.L. Diamond
    Sub-Genre: Slapstick Crime Comedy
    Title:
    Plot: "Three different criminal gangs all decide to rob the same bank on the same night. Lots of mix-ups occur and hilarity ensues. Of course the bank is protected by Barney Fife, so none of the gangs ever really stands a chance."

    Dome Vongvises
    Actors
    1. Tom Hanks
    2. Homer Simpson
    3. Bernie Mac
    4. John Belushi
    5. Bevis
    6. Butthead
    7. Cedric the Entertainer
    8. Jon Lovitz
    9. Sam Kinison
    10. Katie Holmes
    11. Seann William Scott
    12. Ashton Kutcher
    13. Reese Witherspoon
    14. Kirsten Dunst
    15. Melissa Joan Hart
    16. Anna Kournikova
    17. Eliza Dushku
    18. Mel Brooks
    Directors: Bobby and Peter Farrelly
    Writer: John Hughes
    Sub-Genre: Teen Sex Comedy
    Title: "Those Were the Days"
    Plot: "From the folks that brought you There's Something About Mary comes a tale of the forgotten days of high school...

    Max (Homer Simpson) is the most popular kid in school. Everybody from jocks, nerds, to the hottest girls in school love him.

    But he has a problem. It's his senior year of high school, and he has yet to get laid. But lo and behold his prayers may be answered when his parents take in foreign Russian foreign exchange student Anastasia (Anna Kournikova).

    She wants to lose her virginity to an American "stud", she's rearing and ready to go, and Max is willing to oblige. But there's one problem: he's got performance issues. Will he be able to rise to the occasion to satisfy this lolita?

    Coach Billy Joe (Tom Hanks) is the school gym teacher with a winning football team and a heart of gold...amongst other things. And it's this "thing" that all the girls in school want to find out.

    Can he fend off the hormonal charge of lust-filled teenage girls to concentrate on the state championship? He's beginning to lose will power, but he may find help from the most unlikely of place: his wife (Melissa Joan Hart). She should know: she was one of his students back during his first teaching days.

    Beavis and Butthead (playing themselves) square off against Billy (Ashton Kutcher) and Chuck (Seann William Scott) to see who can get laid the most by the end of their senior year. There's one problem: they have to find a way out of juvenile hall first.

    Oswald (Cedric the Entertainer) and Harvey (Bernie Mac) are the school janitors by night. By day, they are the biggets pimps in town as they run the city's hottest strip club, "The Jailhouse". But a local shelter run by their deceased friend's daugther Shelly (Eliza Dushku) is in dire need of money. It's time for a fundraiser with the local high school talent!

    But evil forces scheme to prevent this from happening. An evil tycoon (Jon Lovitz) wants to tear down the shelter to build his, what else? His own evil strip club with outrageous lap dance prices!

    Professor Timothy (Sam Kinison) teaches history. He just yells a lot.

    Abraham (Mel Brooks) is the school principal. And he's been giving "passing" grades for a long time. But he's worried his daugther (Reese Witherspoon) may be doing the same when she takes over after he retires.

    Narrated by the ghost of Shelly's father (John Belushi). Being a ghost, he visits old friends like Oswald, Harvey, Billy Joe, and Timothy. He also makes the ocassional visit to the girls' shower.

    Also starring: Kirsten Dunst and Katie Holmes as two beauty queens who will stop at nothing to be the best, with a shocking finale at the "Jailhouse"."


    Dennis
    Actors
    1. John Ritter
    2. Cheri Oteri
    3. Will Ferrell
    4. Anthony Anderson
    5. Rowan Atkinson
    6. Allison Janney
    7. Austin Pendleton
    8. Carol Burnett
    9. Jimmy Fallon
    10. Horatio Sanz
    11. Jon Stewart
    12. Kirstie Alley
    13. Tony Shalhoub
    14. Cleo King
    15. Chris Kattan
    16. Julia Louis-Dreyfus
    17. Elizabeth Hurley
    18. Hugh Grant
    Director: Blake Edwards
    Writer: Blake Edwards and Al Franken
    Sub-Genre:
    Title: Waiting to Inhale
    Plot: "A "behind the scenes" look at 8 years in the Clinton administration."
     
  2. John Kilduff

    John Kilduff Screenwriter

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    I love a good draft, and this one sounds like it'll be a pip.

    Sign me up.

    Sincerely,

    John Kilduff...

    This will be cool.
     
  3. Scott Weinberg

    Scott Weinberg Lead Actor

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    I am so in.
     
  4. Matt Stone

    Matt Stone Lead Actor

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    Scott made me join this.
     
  5. Esten

    Esten Supporting Actor

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    I'm in. m/[​IMG]m/
     
  6. Walt Riarson

    Walt Riarson Supporting Actor

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  7. Ric Bagoly

    Ric Bagoly Producer

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    OK.
     
  8. george kaplan

    george kaplan Executive Producer

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    I'll play.
     
  9. Dome Vongvises

    Dome Vongvises Lead Actor

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    I'll join. Great, that vacation from the HTF is going to be put on hold.
     
  10. Nick Sievers

    Nick Sievers Producer

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    I'll give it a crack.

    - Kudos to you, Walt for having the best draft-thread title.
     
  11. Dennis

    Dennis Second Unit

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    I like this, count me in.
     
  12. Walt Riarson

    Walt Riarson Supporting Actor

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    Welcome aboard, Ric, George, Dome, Nick and Dennis!

    Last call for participants. The draft will begin tomorrow. Currently, we have 10 participants...

    Walt Riarson
    John Kilduff
    Scott Weinberg
    Matt Stone
    Esten
    Ric Bagoly
    George Kaplan
    Dome Vongvises
    Nick Sievers
    Dennis

    Of the ones who are already in, I need you guys to vote on something...okay, should we all choose the sub-genre right up front (so we can have an idea about specific casting choices right from the start) or should we choose the sub-genre just like anything else at any time we want?

    Just let me know what you guys think.
     
  13. John Kilduff

    John Kilduff Screenwriter

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    Genre choices right up front...

    I've got a cast list practically ready to go, and I'd like to claim my genre up front.

    Sincerely,

    John Kilduff...

    Your witty tagline here...Dial 555-6789.
     
  14. Scott Weinberg

    Scott Weinberg Lead Actor

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    I'd say 'whenever we want'. That way I'll have a freakin' clue what's expected of me. Hopefully. Me dum.
     
  15. Matt Stone

    Matt Stone Lead Actor

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    I agree with Scott.
     
  16. Ric Bagoly

    Ric Bagoly Producer

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    abstain (no opinion)
     
  17. george kaplan

    george kaplan Executive Producer

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    Well at the moment, I have no idea what my film will be about or who I'll draft, so the longer I can postpone making a genre selection the better. [​IMG]
     
  18. Dennis

    Dennis Second Unit

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    Anything at anytime.
     
  19. Walt Riarson

    Walt Riarson Supporting Actor

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    Well, it's looking like we will be choosing sub-genre at anytime, just like everything else. However, John and whoever else wants to, can choose sub-genre first if you like.

    The final, locked roster of producers is...
    1. Walt Riarson
    2. John Kilduff
    3. Scott Weinberg
    4. Matt Stone
    5. Esten
    6. Ric Bagoly
    7. George Kaplan
    8. Dome Vongvises
    9. Nick Sievers
    10. Dennis

    Alright, here we go. To shake things up a little, we'll go in order 1-10 the first time through and then the next round we'll go 10-1 and keep alternating, so on and so forth.

    When you pick an Actor and if you have already picked your Sub-Genre, you must tell us what role the actor is playing in your Ensemble Comedy. For example: "George Foreman as 'The Angry Typist'". If you select your Sub-Genre later and have already chosen a number of your cast members, you must select roles for them. (It's just fun seeing who will be playing what.) [​IMG]

    For those who don't like to scroll up, here is a refresher on the rules...

    The things you are choosing...
    16 Actors (Male/Female Mix However You Want, Leading/Supporting/Cameo Mix However You Want...Actors and actresses may come from any time period in Hollywood’s history and may be living or dead. You can even have up to 3 Animated Characters/Actors make guest appearances in your film.
    Writer - Can also be an actor or director. You can, but don’t have to, choose up to three Writers for your film.
    Director - Can also be an actor or writer. You can, but don’t have to, choose up to three Directors for your film.
    Title - Make up whatever you want.
    Sub-Genre - (Buddy/Cop Flick, Spoof, Political Satire, Romantic Comedy, Slapstick, Family Comedy, Comedy/Fantasy Adventure, Religious Satire, Sex Comedy, Horror Comedy, etc.) - You can use these or any other Sub-Genre that you can think of, however, no two people may have the same Sub-Genre.




    Okay, I will start the draft by selecting an Actor...
    'Curly' Howard


    John Kilduff is up.
    Scott Weinberg is on deck.
     
  20. John Kilduff

    John Kilduff Screenwriter

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    Okay, I'll choose an actress:

    Sherri Stoner (veteran of The Groundlings, writer for "Animaniacs" and "Tiny Toon Adventures", 80s sexploitation film actress, and body model for Ariel from "The Little Mermaid")

    Sincerely,

    John Kilduff...

    I'll choose my genre when I'm up again, since I'm presuming you can't choose both a genre and an actor at the same time.
     

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