Isn't it refreshing to know who your enemies are? (1 Viewer)

[MartinTeller]

"Top 100" movies? Which top 100? The weird thing is, you seem to be (?) putting down my tastes, when most of your top 20 are movies I totally adore.

And I love Star Wars, but Darth Maul is just too lame.

 

[Gary->dee]

Martin this is my connection to The Phantom Menace: As an aspiring filmmaker I respect the high level of artistry that it took to make the movie but besids that, years ago I used to date a beautiful and highly intelligent woman that sang with the Boston Symphony Orchestra and performed Duel of the Fates on a regular basis with John Williams during the '99-2000 season at Symphony Hall and Tanglewood as part of the Tanglewood Festival Chorus. Which in turn has lead me to acquire a greater appreciation of choirs and orchestral music in general such as the kind I have been listening to since 1978. My experiences with her allowed me to grow as a person, a man, and led to a better quality of life for me. That was what I would consider to be an important relationship for me and a positive one. There are other connections that involve graphic design which could prove themselves equally as important if I land this sweet on job on Thursday as a DVD menu designer.

So your post is what the Arabs might call "draat en ballat"(phonetic pronunciation) roughly translated it means "farting on tile" or as Christ considered thread farting. You wanna talk movies there's a forum for that. I could give a rat's ass what you think of Star Wars or Darth Maul in this thread.

And that ladies and gentlemen is an example of Gary not takin it no more for 2004.

 

[MarkHastings]

If you're too good for someone, they don't need to be told anything. Let it go. The reason why we're getting on your case is because you feel the need to tell them (and everyone else) that they are no good.

What it sounds like is that you don't want to ignore them. You somehow maybe want to see these people turn their lives around so you can be good friends? If so, then I feel for you because that's a tough thing, but if you really don't give a rats ass about them, then let them rot their lives away. No big whoop for you.

Just remember that you can't hate unless you care.

Your posts are quite hatefilled and even though you may mean well, others aren't going to take your tone so lightly. I'd seriously suggest talking to someone personally (or professionally).

-Peace

 

[Gary->dee]

People aren't always ready for the truth. There's no hatred in being clear and sincere.

 

[MartinTeller]

You sound like you have some serious issues. I recommend talking to a therapist before you start burning bridges.

 

[Gary->dee]

Why is it that someone should seek help from a professional if they feel confident and secure?

Or should I consult a therapist because I like The Phantom Menace?

 

[Patrick_S]

That's great that you have decided to move your life in a different direction, but why do you have a great desire or need to run others down?

As on outsider the desire to run others down appears as if you need to in order to build yourself up. A person who is secure and confident doesn’t need to resort to these types of behavior.

 

[Gary->dee]

I don't consider it as running anyone down and I don't have any desire to, Patrick. I consider it identifying who is and who isn't, the types of people I should or shouldn't be associated with. I'm not in the business of revenge, if that were so I'd just name names but you folks wouldn't know them either way so what difference would it make?

Btw I really resent the calls for seeking professional help. I don't appreciate that at all. Is the default response now when faced without a proper one 'you should see a therapist or professional help'? If some of you folks who gave that response really knew about what you were suggesting then you wouldn't go there. Hence, I have to conclude that you're unfamiliar with your own advice. But in case anyone might feel they know what they're suggesting with me seeking professional help then rest assured that I've been there and done that and I feel it would only bring me back to the same drugged-out circle I'm distancing myself from. Legal meds or illegal drugs, same dependence.

 

[Markus Lidstrom]

That might be the first step in getting your life back on track.

 

[Robert_Gaither]

I agree, seems a very Jerry (Springer) kind of response. Everyone acts as if these therapists, shrinks, and psychologists knows all the answers but yet they keep running all these crappy studies, come out with all these answers, and guess what we still have all the same crappy problems! I agree with your assessment and cut the dead weight and glad you're not so prejudiced to not cut off family (why people make exception for family is so stupid, they shouldn't put you in a position to stay loyal by betraying you).

 

[Topher]

Gary, I went through something "similar" about 6 years ago, when I was 18-19. My situation is slightly different, but I did end up with similar feelings and choices as you have mentioned (not taking it anymore, etc...) I have never tried drugs, never wanted to... neither had my long time high school friends. We graduated, went off to seperate colleges, military, etc... I then started hanging around some new friends I met at school, for a long time they were really cool, then I started noticing things. They were slowly dropping out of the first/second semester and just hanging around smoking weed and getting drunk... problem is they were trying to pull me into that as well... after a few weeks I decided I was too good for them because I had goals and ambitions and they didn't. Not to mention being stabbed in the back by a couple of them because I wasn't into what they were. I dropped them like a sack of rocks and haven't looked back once. I decided I was better off on my own than with a bunch like that. Key is to just quit hanging out with them altogether and NEVER look back. I knew who my real friends were as I am sure you do to.

 

[Cees Alons]

Gary,

Please allow me to be harsh.

Those should never be the key issues. The key issues should be what respect you can have for others and if you can be there when they need you and if you are considered towards them. In a relation - any type - that is.

People are seldom simply bad, or useless or egotists. Most try to be good and social. But it only works in a co-operational situation, where no one starts it just for getting something out of it.

Your tone is bitter, perhaps you see it as firm, decided and uplifting. But your solution won't help you in the end.


Cees

 

[John Spencer]

Well, I guess I'm pretty lucky. I've had the same 2best friends since 8th grade. One of them turned out to be a bit of a loser, but the other is the best friends a person could have. I guess it all depends on how selective you are, since I never put up with self-aggrandizing people for very long, and never consider them a friend until they earn that title. Of course I also feel that you have to earn a person's friendship, but that doesn't mean you let anyone take you for granted.

 

[Malcolm R]

Amen to that. Family can be some of the worst offenders, usually because they think that since you're all "family" that you'll never cut them off no matter what they do.

Guess again.

I'd be more likely to trust a total stranger than most of my loser family.

 

[MartinTeller]

Cees is right on

Gary: you seem to be exceptionally bitter and judgemental, and you seem to have a big chip on your shoulder about something. You're mistaking arrogance for confidence. It's easy to write people off as "losers" but they must have something to offer or you wouldn't be hanging out with them in the first place, right? I, too, have friends who I wish didn't indulge in drugs so heavily, but I enjoy their other qualities too much to shut them out of my life completely.

If people are taking advantage of you, make your feelings known. No one can drag you down, you can only let yourself be dragged down.

And yes, I have been to therapy and found it helpful. I didn't say take drugs, I said talk to a therapist.

And Darth Maul is still lame.

 

[Ricardo C]

Might want to protect that glass house from the boulder about to hit it, Martin...

 

[MartinTeller]

Mine's plexiglass

 

[Carl Miller]

Funny how two people (or more) can read Gary's post and come away with such different interpretations. Personally, all I saw when reading Gary's post was a guy evaluating those around him and deciding whether they were good to have in his life.

Gary, shedding yourself of the people in your life who aren't true to you, or good for you, is a very good thing IMO.

I did the same nearly 3 years ago when my father died, and two of what I thought were my better friends in life were no shows...No condolence calls, no phone calls, no cards, nothing. Not until about 4-5 months after my father died, when they both tried to pick up where we left off as if nothing ever happened.

It was a weird thing. I never got angry, but my perception of these two former friends changed completely. I even tried to remain friends with them and went out for a few beers with them after they called. But I couldn't stay friends with them and just never called or saw them again.

Sometimes you just figure out who your friends really are. Could be a big life event, or a lightbulb going off over your head. Whatever leads you to figure it out, the only thing that matters is that you surround yourself with friends who are good for you in some way...That's what friends do for eachother..they make eachothers lives better.

If that ain't happening, I say cut em' loose.

 

[Ted Lee]

hmm...i sorta agree with gary. probably cuz i can relate.

i also used to hang out with a pretty drug-heavy crowd. let's just say it wasn't uncommon for us to be waxing our cars at 4 in the morning.

anyway, while these guys were all my friends, when i think back on the whole deal, i kinda feel like maybe they weren't the best people to be around. don't get me wrong...i loved em like family at the time...and i don't hold any resentment towards my past ... but really, i probably could have been in a better place. the best thing i ever did was move out of that town.

it sounds to me like gary is just trying to do something similar. yeah, he may be coming off kinda harsh, but if that's what it takes to improve yourself, then so be it.

i will say this to gary. try not to be too harsh on your friends. they may not agree with you anymore, but don't forget that people are people. you can't really change them. just because you're not all on the same page doesn't mean they're jerks, etc.

why not try to give them a little speech? let them know you're done with the scene, but it's nothing personal. heck, it may give them something to think about ... and you may end up helping another individual.

 

[Gary->dee]

Martin if we were in eye contact I'd give you the middle finger.

Sure I am bitter to a certain extent. I feel I have a right to be. Feeling bitter isn't abnormal. It isn't exclusive to just me. I didn't invent bitterness. But I'm not as angry, full of hate etc. as some of you may think. Besides I won't stay bitter, it's just a reaction to feeling betrayed. I wish I had more good friends! Maybe even one contemporary I could compare myself to. Someone I can relate to on much deeper levels. Actually I was with a friend today and we had a great time. Ironically enough she is also moving away from the same people I am. It was an important thing to be with her today because we discussed things and we have a lot in common.

I'm not that bitter and the drug issue isn't as prevalent either. As I was mentioning, I know someone who has a job and no drug problem. But she showed her true colors to me by not being there when I really needed her(don't even think sex) and she is extremely inconsiderate. So in my eyes the people with drug problems and the chick that I thought was my friend who really isn't are equal. Essentially they are enemies. People I can not rely on and furthermore might deter me from achieving any real goals in life. So fuck'em. I'm movin' on.



Yeah that is funny actually. I can't call it, Carl. I guess you either know what I'm talking about or can at least relate or you think I need professional help because I've come to a realization about my life.