Is This What Pink Floyd Meant When They Said "It's All Dark"?

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Chu Gai, Jul 13, 2004.

  1. Chu Gai

    Chu Gai Lead Actor

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    [c]The Dark Sucker Theory [/c]

    For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
    First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

    So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.

    A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

    There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

    Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

    Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

    Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

    Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.
     
  2. Daren Welsh

    Daren Welsh Supporting Actor

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    um .... that theory sucks!
     
  3. Dave Poehlman

    Dave Poehlman Producer

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    [​IMG]

    I'm filing this one next to the theory that all electronics contain and operate on smoke. Once you let the smoke out.. the electronics stop working.
     
  4. Grant B

    Grant B Producer

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    Hmmmmmmm Dark Sucker?!?!
    I thought this was going to be about -nevermind-
    Jack, put that pad lock away!!!!

    Cool theory,got any more?
     
  5. Mike Lenthol

    Mike Lenthol Second Unit

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    Witch! Burn Him! [​IMG]
     
  6. Mark Shannon

    Mark Shannon Screenwriter

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    So if she's made of wood, she's a witch!




    that is the most bizarre, and pointless theories I have ever read.
     
  7. Christ Reynolds

    Christ Reynolds Producer

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    if you believe that theory, you may have to have the intelligence-sucker in your brain dismantled, i can do it for a not so small sum, PM me!

    CJ
     
  8. Garrett Lundy

    Garrett Lundy Producer

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    Best line from the original post. [​IMG]
     
  9. Kevin M

    Kevin M Producer

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    Is it just me or does this sound like a perfect oddball and out there idea for the next Dario Argento movie?
     
  10. Kevin M

    Kevin M Producer

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    ....I want to hit you.
     
  11. Yee-Ming

    Yee-Ming Producer

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    Not something I would've admitted... [​IMG]
     

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