Imagine If This Were Your Name... (1 Viewer)

[Mike Frezon]

THIS is a legit news story from my local paper.

 

Check out the name of the second guy fined for some illicit activity.

 

I used to do radio news in Monticello a million years ago. I'm kinda glad this didn't happen on my watch.

 

How would ya like to have that name...and at the beginning of the school year have the teacher try to pronounce it in front of all your classmates when taking attendance?

 

[Johnny Angell]

And I thought my name was bad

 

[Sam Posten]

I had a Phuc Lam in my Jr high school. And students in my classes (one never showed up) named Will Barrow and Salvatore (Sal to his friends) Menella.

 

[Greg_S_H]

In college, there was a guy named Hung Long in one of my classes.

 

[Patrick_S]

I went to grade school with a Richard Head. Now what parent would do that to their kid?

 

 

[Paul D G]

When I was a kid there was a Phuc Hu in the phone book.

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

Originally Posted by Patrick_S
I went to grade school with a Richard Head. Now what parent would do that to their kid?

Probably cousins of the people who named an ex-boss of mine "Richard Hare". And yes, he did go by a nickname. (He was once paged at an airport. Hilarity ensued.)
 

 

I used to do radio news in Monticello a million years ago. I'm kinda glad this didn't happen on my watch.

 

The second episode of News Radio opens with Matthew (Andy Dick) wrapping up a story with the words "...Amy Fisher, the so-called Long Island Lolita, who was also implicated in the case is currently serviving five to fifteen years in Albion Correctional Facility..." while a stunned-looking Bill (Phil Hartman) sits staring wordlessly at him. When Matthew leaves the booth, he is told that he mispronounced "that guy's" name. A few times.

 

"No, I didn't. It's Joey Butta---"
 

Dave (Dave Foley) "No it ISN'T Matthew, It's, uh, Butta-foo-co. Butta-FOO-co"
 

Matthew: "Wha- What did I say?"

 

Dave: "Well, Matthew, of all the possible mispronunciations of that name, you seem to have stumbled upon asbolutely the worst one."
 

Mr. James: "Matthew, I'm just glad you didn't do a story about Forest Tucker."
 

Regards,

 

Joe
 

 

[Greg_S_H]

 

[Ron-P]

I went to school with a Crystal Chandelier and my wife went to school with an Albe Damn.

 

[Bryan X]

Originally Posted by Joseph DeMartino

Quote:


Probably cousins of the people who named an ex-boss of mine "Richard Hare". And yes, he did go by a nickname. (He was once paged at an airport. Hilarity ensued.)
 

 

That's funny. I know a guy named Peter Hare. And yes, the last name is pronounced "Hair".

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

Originally Posted by Bryan X
That's funny. I know a guy named Peter Hare. And yes, the last name is pronounced "Hair".

 

Regards,

 

Joe

 

[Parker Clack]

My mom went to school with a couple of kids with the last name of Pop that their parents had the audacity to name the girl Loli and the the boy Soda.

 

A good friend of mine used to do a morning radio show and he would do a lot of fillers between songs. While reading one he came across the word

Fuque and he pronounced it phonectically. Needless to say that station manager called him up about 2 minutes later asking him "What the hell did you
just say over the air?"
 

We had a lady come in to deliver her third child and she wanted to name her Gynelotamin because she thought the name was great. We thankfully

talked her out of it.

 

 

 

 

[Scott McGillivray]

Just to add my local funny store name:

 

http://soupytrumpet.com/?p=616

 

It does not exist anymore, but pretty damn funny!

 

 

[Malcolm R]

Dealt with a guy at my job this week with the first name "Duckworth."

 

I swear it should be illegal for parents to give their kids certain names. They're just dooming the kid from the very start.

 

[Carl Miller]

Went to school with a John Loser. He liked to be called Johnny which seemed to everyone else to make his name even more difficult to say with a straight face.

 

And once worked with a guy named Ashit Dey, pronounced Day just as you'd expect.

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

Originally Posted by Malcolm R I once worked for a major bank in New York, that had an early-savings program for college. We bought the mailing list for the elementary school "paper" My Weekly Reader and targeted the parents of grade-schoolers, sending mailers to "The Parents of Joe Smith" or whoever. I couldn't believe some of the names I saw. If your last name is "Sawyer" do NOT name your kid "Tom" It isn't cute, and he won't thank you for it. Especially when he's grown up and explaining to the nice officer who pulls him over when he runs out without his wallet to get pickles and ice cream at 2 AM for his pregnant wife that yes, his name really is Tom Sawyer. Ditto "Mike" if your name is "Hammer" and "Charlie" if your name is brown. Speaking of "Mike", do remember that people will inevitably shorten your little darling's name, which is why most people should avoid calling their sons "Richard" and everyone with the surname "Hunt" should swear off the use of the name "Michael". (Think about it.) If you have an unfortunate last name, and for some reason failed to change it, don't compound the problem by saddling your precious with an equally unfortunate first name. A kid named "Lipschitz" is going to take enough abuse - most of which you experienced yourself. Believe me, the situation is not going to be improved by making his first name "Mortimer". (You may have a "Boy Named Sue" theory working, whereby his getting his ass kicked every single day at recess will toughen him up, but I actually knew a kid named Mortimer Lipschitz and, trust me, awesome toughness did not ensue. As it were.) Two-way names can be fine for girls (Taylor and Madison both experienced quite a vogue.) The reverse is not true. No six year old male wants to be called "Leslie". If you name your son that he'll have to kick Mortimer Lipschitz's ass himself at least once a week just to get some playground cred. And as soon as he's able he's going to get his friends to give him a tough nickname or start using his middle name anyway, so save everyone a lot of time and trouble and just give him a boy's name to begin with.
 

Regards,

 

Joe

 

[Malcolm R]

A few weeks back, I received an application from a guy named "Imperious Black". I almost tossed it, assuming it was some Harry Potter-esque joke, but turns out he's a real person. Probably a cool name in the age of HP (meet my brothers, Sirius and Regulus...), but he was born quite a few years before the books came out so I have to wonder what Mom & Dad were thinking....

 

[EricW]

at work i came across a client on the database named Anita dyck. with my own eyes, this is not second hand

 

oh, and it was her married name.

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

Folks also need to watch initials. It is never a good idea to choose a first name (or one with a common nickname) that combines in a bad way with the kid's middle initial or the first letter of your last name. Scores of young girls (and probably boys) have been scarred by names like "Billie Jean", "Bobby Joe" and even "Betty Sue". Similarly, one of the biggest laughs in the play and movie The Odd Couple comes from this rant by Oscar:

 

"And stop leaving me little notes all over the place. Today I found a note on the refrigerator - 'We're out of milk. F.U.' It took me half an hour to realize that 'F.U.' stood for 'Felix Unger'."

 

 

Originally Posted by EricW

 

Regards,

 

Joe

 

 

[TravisR]

Originally Posted by Joseph DeMartino

Folks also need to watch initials. It is never a good idea to choose a first name (or one with a common nickname) that combines in a bad way with the kid's middle initial or the first letter of your last name.

There was a girl in my junior high and high school whose initials were P.M.S. Wisely, she made fun of it herself which made it so that no one else could really goof on her for it.