If you were the Music God

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Mike Broadman, Jan 29, 2002.

  1. Mike Broadman

    Mike Broadman Producer

    Aug 24, 2001
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    Before people yell at me again, a disclaimer: this is all opinion, not preaching, just speculation and thought, etc and so on.
    If you were the Music God and could manipulate bands and musicians to do as you please, what would be some of the things you'd fix? IMO, there is a lot of talent that isn't being used to confrom to my sinister will *maniacal laugh*
    Smashing Pumpkins- When they play that visceral, multi-layered guitar heavy stuff, it's great. Cherub Rock and Zero are cool songs. Unfortunately, they get into ballads, which Corgan's voice wasn't made for, and weird orchestra stuff. It's artsy, it's intemellectual- it's boring. I would make them rock, man.
    Primus- For good and bad, Primus is all about Les. His playing is so much fun to listen to; his voice is torture. I guess it's one of those "love it or hate it" things. As the Music God who hates it, I would make them sing less and emphasise funkier grooves and those cool guitar lines.
    The Talking Heads- I would have them play the kind of music they did in Remain in Light and some of Fear of Music- polyrhythms, cool melodies.
    Red Hot Chili Peppers- no ballads, please. Heck, I'd change the singer. They have massive funk potential, but it gets lost under some faltering song writing and an obnoxious singer. Perhaps I'd change the name to Flee and the Chili Peppers.
    Herbie Hancock- I'd make him play jazz again.
    The Police- First of all, only Sting would be allowed to write the songs. Second of all, I'd take the best stuff from their last couple of albums and make them do that full time.
    Come on, I know you people think about this kind of thing.
  2. Kevin P

    Kevin P Screenwriter

    Jan 18, 1999
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    If I were the Music God, I'd go to the Music God's Computer*, highlight "Backstreet Boys", "NStync", "98 Degrees", yadda yadda, plus Britney and clones (I'd have to shift-click to select them all), then I'd click "Smite". [​IMG]
    Then I'd take what's left and make them do great 70s and 80s music again.
    * Idea ripped off from The Far Side by Gary Larson.
  3. John_Bonner

    John_Bonner Supporting Actor

    Oct 25, 2000
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    On the First Day I'd wipe every drum machine off the face of the earth.
    On the Second Day I'd make David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen see the error of their ways to reunite and (hopefully) make some rock n' roll magic.
    On the Third Day I'd take all of the record execs who pummel us with Britney, Christina, Eminem and Boy Bands and demote them to janitors thus clearing a path for bands and artists who actually have talent.
    On the Fourth Day I'd pull the plug on MTV.
    On the Fifth Day I'd really work some miracles. I'd resurrect from the dead John Lennon, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix, Randy Rhoads, Keith Moon, John Bonham and many other deserving souls who could help resurrect the state of modern music.
    On the Sixth and Seventh Days I'd chill out with some Guinness and enjoy my work! [​IMG]
  4. Evan S

    Evan S Cinematographer

    Nov 21, 2001
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    If I was a music god, I would eliminate all boy bands and force Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore, Brittany Spears (especially Brittany!) to perform naked in concert.

    I would have told KISS to never let Ace and Peter leave and for crying out loud, never take the makeup off.

    I would give inherant knowledge to over the hill artists to let them know when it's time to hang it up. Not going to name names here for the threat of flaming is too great. Let's just say I hope they know who they are if they read this.

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