I want to ask a girl out, but I don't know her...yet (1 Viewer)

[Lars Larsen]

Alright, so I saw this girl today when I was out riding my bike. She was walking her dog, and looking very single. It was the first time I rode my bike in that part of my local area, so I haven't seen her before. We made eye contact and we both smiled at eachother. It didn't seem like just a regular smile, I think. There was something in the air. She looked a little shy but really cute!
I'm 25 and I live in Denmark and blonde beautiful girls are everywhere, but this girl really did something for me, and all I did was lay eyes on her! I just don't have a clue as to how I'm going to make contact with her. What am I going to say? I mean, she's a complete stranger! I've never done anything like this, at least not while being sober. I really want to ask her out, and I really want her to say yes. So I'm afraid that if I just ask her, right out of the blue, she's going to turn me down because she doesn't know me.
Please help. What are your experiences in these kinds of situations? Any advice would be appreciated! Moral support is welcome, also. If any woman are reading this please provide me with some feedback, as to what you think I should do.
Cheers!
- Lars from Mars

 

[Reginald Trent]

Get some tickets to a popular concert, then tell her you're going to see (name of the group) ask if she would like to go. If she turns you down, you see a great show anyway, if she says yes I'll be your best man.

 

[Aurel Savin]

Lars ...
While my experiences with this are also while being drunk most of the time , I think being yourself is the best thing.
If you see her again, you should maybe start a casual conversation, " Never seen you around here before .." "Are you new to the neighbourhood?" "Cute dog..."
I don't think flat out asking her out will work, but if you just go along with an easy conversation you can maybe get her number or ask her if she wants to join you for refreshments in the park.
From what you are telling me, I think she is new to the area.
Good luck dude .. and please keep us posted!
And don't forget ... you the man!!!
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RIGHT ... CHEERS!
The Hole

 

[Eric Scott]

Lars, Aurel has the right idea. Remember, dogs get walked at regular times so it's easy for you to "bump" into her. Study up on dogs, when you speak to her show a lot of interest in the things she says. Ask her what groups she likes, and take Reginald's suggestion. (But buy the tickets after she agrees to go with you.)
Good Luck!

 

[Brian Harnish]

I'm having roughly the same problem. A girl I see at Starbucks literally every few nights (for a few months now) -- I would like to ask her out but I don't even know if she's single. Apart from a few words of discussion about how our days have been, we haven't really discussed anything more. What do I do? I really like her. Do I ask her out to lunch? On a date...somewhere? Any suggestions/helpful advice?
EDIT: I should probably add that she works behind the counter at Starbucks.
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- Brian
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[Edited last by Brian Harnish on August 18, 2001 at 09:24 PM]
[Edited last by Brian Harnish on August 18, 2001 at 09:24 PM]

 

[cafink]

I'm having roughly the same problem. A girl I see at Starbucks literally every few nights (for a few months now) -- I would like to ask her out but I don't even know if she's single. Apart from a few words of discussion about how our days have been, we haven't really discussed anything more. What do I do? I really like her. Do I ask her out to lunch? On a date...somewhere? Any suggestions/helpful advice?

"Hi, how's it going? Are you busy tonight? I was thinking of [fun activity for two] and I was hoping to have some company."
Simple and straightforward.

 

[Eric Scott]

"In Starbucks" Why not start with asking her if you can buy her a cup of coffee?
Or, you could sit next to her and "accidentally" spill your coffee on your crotch and start screaming for help!

[Edited last by Eric Scott on August 19, 2001 at 05:15 PM]

 

[Rachael B]

Lars, try the direct approach, and to paraphrase your very own words to some extent, " Hello, I'm Lars (or whatever alias you might go by you naughty alien!), I'd really like to meet you." Remember, she may talk like Betty Boop, you never know! She may be sweet or kin to the antiCristo. Shyness is not a virtue. Zero is stille zero till you add one.
Ask her to meet for coffee or what everybody drinks there if she stille strikes you. Or,
Say to her what Dustin Hoffman said to Jessica Lange in the party scene on the balcony. You might get slapped too! But you never know...? I recommend plan 'A'. Good luck!
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Rachael, the big disc cat! "...Mandrake, have you ever seen a commie drink water..."
AFI Film Challenge, hey I've only got 1 to go!

 

[andrew markworthy]

Reading this thread has produced more unwelcome flashbacks from my youth than a forty-something man should have to take.
You could always adopt the strategy of a young man in a short story by Katherine Mansfield. He was after a girl and eventually went up to her and said 'excuse me, but I think you dropped this' - and produced an egg.

 

[Stacy Huff]

Racheal,
What did Dustin say to Jessica?

 

[Rachael B]

Stacy, I forgot to add to that sentence, "from the film Tootsie". Now do you know?
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Rachael, the big disc cat! "...Mandrake, have you ever seen a commie drink water..."
AFI Film Challenge, hey I've only got 1 to go!

 

[Cees Alons]

Lars,
For all you know, she may also have been visting someone and had to let her dog out. In which case you will probably never see her again.
So... what I'm implying is, take the chance when you have it. Try to catch her again walking her dog out. Step from your bike. Be honest as possibly can. "this is the second time we meet.." (true), "I live here, but last time was the first I saw you" (true). "I thought I knew everyone.."(well, only little white lie) "I'm Lars.." etc.
No difficult tricks. She'll say her name. You tell her were you live, see tells you the same, now you've got her address! Ask about the dog ("what kind of dog is that, how old is he/she"). Don't say "I like you", that's obvious, my friend. Talk. Find out if she wants to meet you again. Or perhaps (if she's new indeed) if she wants to know more about the neighbourhood.
And so on, and so forth. If you both try a nice converstation, you'll find out if you really like each other. The rest goes by itself.
And don't be afraid to do anything stupid, stumble or or

, or something. If she likes you, she won't care.
Good luck!
Cees
PS: Home Theatre and Movies are a great subject. You need to squeeze it in rather soon, for obvious reasons!
C.
[Edited last by Cees Alons on August 19, 2001 at 11:24 AM]

 

[Lars Larsen]

Thanks for your replies everyone! You have all been quite helpful. However one of the problems is that I live in a relatively small town where there are no concerts or even refreshment-stands in the park. I realize that would be the obvious thing to invite her to. I met her down at the harbor in a recreational area where there isn't much else to see or do. There's an ice cream shop about a mile away though...hmm...maybe I could invite her there.
quote: For all you know, she may also have been visting someone and had to let her dog out. In which case you will probably never see her again.[/quote]
I don't think so. She had her bicycle with her, and she looked like she knew the area. I just moved to this town and I was out exploring.
I guess, I just need to be a little more innovative and come up with some sort of appropriate remark.
BTW, her dog is a golden retriever so I was thinking about making a comment about them both being blonde, but on a second thought that could bomb, consequently making me feel really stupid.

PS: Home Theatre and Movies are a great subject. You need to squeeze it in rather soon, for obvious reasons!

LOL! Yeah, better let her know upfront.
Thanks again. I'll let you know how this goes down. Very exciting stuff
- Lars from Mars
[Edited last by Lars Larsen on August 19, 2001 at 12:34 PM]
[Edited last by Lars Larsen on August 19, 2001 at 12:34 PM]

 

[andrew markworthy]

Lars, if you're new to the area, then why not ask her 'excuse me, can you tell me where ..... is?'. You could add 'I'm new to the area and still finding my way around'. That might initiate a conversation. If it's clear she's not interested, then you can depart with no loss of face, since on the surface, all you've done is ask for directions.
BTW, make sure you have a plausible reason for visiting wherever you name; if she offers to take you there, it could be a bit awkward!

 

[Neil Joseph]

Next time you see her, introduce yourself. Be honest and tell her you thought of asking her out but would not be sure what she would say.
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(plus large selection of H.T.Links and movie images)

 

[brentl]

" hey Nice dog you've got,What's its name"
Pet the dog!!
" you wouldn't know where the ice cream stand is would you.. I'm kind of new to town??"
" great, thanks. I'd really like some company though, would you like to join me?
Brent L

 

[Nigel McN]

"Hi, I saw you the other day so I asked this big group of 20,000 people online if I should talk to you and they said yes,..."

 

[Aurel Savin]

Nigel ...
I like that
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RIGHT ... CHEERS!
The Hole

 

[Steve Schick]

double post
[Edited last by Steve Schick on August 20, 2001 at 09:26 AM]

 

[Steve Schick]

Well.. If you're new to the area you could ask her what more is there to do around town. If she comes up with some ideas, ask her if she's like to join her.
My rules for first date:
-Don't go out to eat. You could gross her out or be grossed out by how she eats. reserve this for 3rd or 4th date. But going out for coffee or ice cream is O.K.
-Don't go to a movie until, at earliest, 2nd date. Girls know what going to a movie is for.

-Talk a lot, but not about yourself unless asked. Get to know each other, slowly at first, feel each other out (no, not that kind of feel, for you pervs out there

)
-Don't try to get too close, ie; Don't ask too personal of a question like "what's your blood type."
-Definitely say you had a good time and that you'd like to see her again or go out again (unless things went terribly wrong, in which case bow out gracefully).
-Don't ask her out again too soon, wait a week to ask her out again.
-Do give her a call or send her a letter saying that you had a great time and thanks for her company.
YMMV
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