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I Understand There's a Position Open At Warner Bros...Those Qualified Please Apply...

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Dick, Aug 16, 2001.

  1. Dick

    Dick Producer
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    Warner Bros. has announced the creation of a new position at their Home Video division: Vice President In Charge of Giving A Shit. Criteria for qualification: 1] Must be able to acknowledge that tens of thousands of vocal forum posters really do want OAR on all DVD releases, and that children are perfectly adaptable to the letterboxing of family films. 2] Must have an innate understanding of Joe Six Pack's impact upon the DVD market - i.e. he should not be permitted to have one that goes against that of people who truly understand film as art; that he is undereducated and that allowing those of his ilk to call the shots on this market is akin to allowing the government to drill in thre arctic - it starts small, and grows to the point of no control. 3] The applicant MUST ACTUALLY LOVE AND HAVE AN EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MEDIUM OF FILM. Yes, and to the point where he is willing to stand up to the rest of the boneheads in the company and insist upon the release of scores of R.K.O., M.G.M. and Warner Bros. classic titles each year from this point on. 4] If at any time he is unsure about what titles might be most desirable to film collectors, he could actually become a member of the various forums and join the likes of Peter Staddon and Martin Blythe, who demonstrate on behalf of their respective studios that someone cares about the opinions of collectors.
    5] He must show great skill in persuading the company to abandoned their snapper cases and go with the now-standard keepcase.
    6] Finally, the applicant must create a bridge between the high standards Warner Bros. Home Video USED to have during the laser disc and early DVD days, and the present, and let the water that flows under that bridge (in the form of P&S releases, poor catalog support, snappers, false promises, etc.) disappear into the ocean and become history.
    Unfortunately, Warner Bros. promises to fire anyone who takes this job and actually DOES it well, so we're back to square one.
     
  2. SheldonS

    SheldonS Auditioning

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  3. Joseph DeMartino

    Joseph DeMartino Lead Actor

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    Actually the latest Warner Home Video org chart to emerge from the bowels (and I use that word for good reason) of the AOL-TW octopus shows that the position of Vice President In Charge of Giving A Shit has been eliminated. (As it were.) In its place are two new positions: Vice President in Charge of Pissing Off the Customer, and Vice President for Committing Marketing Suicide. These functions have already been ably handled by a number of WHV employees, only the titles are new.
    Regards,
    Joe
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