- Mar 14, 2001
..four-oh. God, I'm depressed. Really depressed. I've been wallowing in large amounts of self-pity and alcohol for months, in preparation for the big event. So cheer me up. Tell me I'm really not on the downhill side. Let me know I'm still a viable human being. Reassure me a not yesterday's news. Make me really believe life begins at 40. Better yet, take up a donation and send me a bevy of beautiful nekkid men to shake their booty in my presence.