I hate my job (1 Viewer)

[Joe Tilley]

Every day I have to go to work I dread it.I set up almost every night thinking about not going to work but I know I have to.I've wonted to get a better job for some time now but with the hours I work plus the fact that where I live it's almost impossable to find anything new.I work with two of my so called friends (not very good ones at best) that don't know what the meaning of work is,for example any time the boss is around they are complete ass kissers & do anything to make them look good,but the minute he's gone it's another story,(I end up doing there job for them)& if I bitch about it they make me look like the slacker.I'm getting so tired of getting run over by assholes trying to take advantage of every possible thing they can to try & come out on top.One of the biggest things that pisses me off completely is that I work in a customer service job where your attitude goes a long way & I don't understand how we even keep going sometimes with the crap that goes on when the boss isn't around.The guys I work will cuss & wont to fight about the dumbest things when a customer is around & bitch & complain when they realize they actually have to get off their ass & do something,but will do their job half & leave me with the rest wile they run off to go play around with their cars outside or something like that
I wont to just quit so damn bad & find a new job but there isn't anybody in my area hireing except maybe some crappy fast food joint & ya cant feed the kids flippen grease patties & frying fat styx.
I feel like its all my fault sometimes though cause I'm the type of person that tryes to be as nice to someone as I can no matter how much they piss me off & insted of takeing it out on them I end up going home all pissed off & go off on the wrong people.
I don't know what to do anymore I'm making myself sick over all of it I've started smoking after I had quit for 5 years & useley wont to come home & drink & do nothing just cause of my job.I'm getting to the point that I will set up till 3 in the morning beating my head cause I know I have to go cause I need the money,(which isn't even very good)but my god I would love to walk in & just say I Quit.
Damn I thought maybe this would help some but I don't thing its even done any good now I'm just thinking about it even more. O well So how's your job, anybody?

 

[Shawn C]

Man, no job is worth that kind of aggravation. If the thought of going to your job is making you physically ill, it's time to find a new job.

Maybe you could find some kind of interim job while looking for your next 'permanent' position.

 

[Danny Tse]

Joe, I know how you feel....I am in a similar situation. I wake up every morning dreading going to work. I am thinking "Why am I putting myself thru this?" So it's on the hunt for my next job.

 

[Leila Dougan]

I completely understand where you are coming from. Up until 6 months ago I was in the same situation and it was horrible. At some point I even was going to quit without lining up another job first. By freak accident, I managed to get promoted the same day I was ready to hand in my resignation letter. Only hours earlier, I was saved. I only bring this up because I'm sure it seems hopeless now but you will find another job that is both saner and healthier for you. Until then you have my complete sympathy.

 

[Peter Overduin]

Almost anything I say will seem to be preachy, pontificating, or patronizing, but I will offer some thoughts in the hope you may take something from them.

I truly empathize with you as I have been there as well. The road to job satisfaction can be a tough one, and for guys our personal happiness is often tied in very closely with our jobs (as I sense yours is.) The downward cycle can be like a bottomless pit, and what's worse is that you end up being too depressed to take advantage of new opportunities that may come your way. On top of that, I was married, had kids, a mortgage and was absolutely trapped.

For me, the turn-around came when a friend confronted me about my own attitude towards an abusive superior (resulting in angina); lazy co-workers, backstabbing, gossip (slander even) and a workplace that was finally termed as "poisoness" by an outside consultant who had been brought in to clean house.

I had become accustomed to talking about how "unfair" the whole thing was. Like you, Joe, I tried to maintain a postive attitude at work, not take my problems home, and not get caught up in the office politics. He made a simple statement that 'snapped' me out of the way I looked at things and helped me take responsibility for at least the way I dealt with things. He said simply, "Peter, you are right, life is not fair, so what are you going to do about it?"

I had sunk so far that suicide was not an uncommon thought, and I went on anti-depressants.

Essentially, Joe, what you are saying about your situation is that it is not fair. Indeed, it isnt. The fact that you aren't completely jaded and cynical speaks volumes about your character; if you didn't give a shit anymore you likely wouldn't feel so despondent about things.

The hard thing for me to accept, but was liberating once I did, is that not is life not fair, but whoever said it should be? In a sense, our insistence that life treat us fairly is selfishness. We try to do the right thing so we secretly maintain that the world (our workplace) responds in kind. When it doesn't - and yours isn't - we are offended, miffed, and become bitter. It's about our expectation that our doing the right thing (as you try to do) results in an expectation by us that the world do us right.

When I accepted the premise that life isn't fair (and we can point to countless tradgedies around us on a daily basis that bear that out) and released myself from the expectation that the world around must be fair to me; my whole outlook changed.

How does this translate into action? Well, for one thing, I do my job to the best of my ability and have learned to derive satisfaction from what I do. Sometimes that means I am doing more than some of my lazy co-workers, but I truly believe they aren't happy the way they are. They aren't happy blading me or ass-kissing the boss and over time I have learned to pity them rather than become bitter and depressed about it.

The hardest part was getting started in trying to look at things in a different way, and there is no easy way around this. I had to literally take baby steps that included eating differently, going to bed earlier (including going on sleeping pills), aand more. There were times I literally wept for the difficulty of doing one simple little thing like going for a jog. My whole being would scream at the impossibility and futility of trying to change.

I still get pissed off sometimes, but I am bouncing back quicker than before and don't stay down long anymore. I have learned to accept things for what they are, inlcuding people, and not impose my expectations on them. It can be hard, especially if your co-workers are your supposed friends. I have been blatantly slandered with no recourse to defend myself, and that from 'friends.!'

They won't change, Joe, so you need to find a way to change how you look at the whole thing. I suspect all of this may sound preachy, but that is one of the drawbacks of email; we can't interface in this discussion like I could with my friend who had the courage to get my attention. It took a lot of conversations over a period of time to make it a habit, so one post in a thread won't do it. However, please accept what I am saying in the way it was meant - to offer you a different perspective.

Heck, if you want to talk, let me know and I'll send my number. Take care.

 

[Johnny wilson]

quit. you'll be a happier man

 

[Peter Overduin]

If you quit a job when the cards are down or things are not going right, you'll be a quitter all your life. Every job has a beginning, a time when things are the shits, pay is poor or prospects dim.

The time to quit a job is when you are at a high; you've accomplished all your goals, achieved a sense of greatness even if the job is seemingly meanial, and when you feel that nothing remains to challenge or inspire you.

 

[Carl Johnson]

I've worked plenty of jobs but never once has one that I truly hated blossomed into an inspiring experience no matter how many weeks, months, or years I poured into it.

 

[Pamela]

Boy, Joe, do I feel for you. It's easy to tell you to quit, but I understand the forces that compel you to stay. I'm kinda in the same boat. The worse part is, I actually love what I do, I just don't like the situation I'm in. There's nothing worse than being miserable at work.
I think Peter's advice is right on the money. In fact, I'm gonna try to apply it to my situation (thanks Peter!).
Good luck to you. Hope things turn around!

 

[Brian Mansure]

Peter,

Your words didn't seem preachy to me at all.

I thought you gave great advice and as Pamela stated, I think I'll apply a little of what you posted to my own situation. I happen to like my job very much but still find myself going through the motions more often then taking charge lately. I think ultimately your advice and suggestions can be applied to most things in life.

Thanks.

Joe,

I believe everyone at one time or another in their lifetime can appreciate your situation. I truly hope things get better, either at your current place of employment or another. Good luck.

Brian

 

[Dave Poehlman]

If it makes you feel better; I hate your job too, Joe.

 

[Jeff Pryor]

I've been stuck in this same situation with many dead-end jobs. My solution everytime was to say 'Fuck this!' and leave. Life's too damn short to be stuck in a job that's going nowhere fast. There are other jobs out there so start looking for a better one now or you will regret not doing so later.

 

[Todd Hochard]

If you quit a job when the cards are down or things are not going right, you'll be a quitter all your life.

I do not agree with this at all. As they say, "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." It's time to fold.

First and foremost, your responsibility is to you and your family. Any line of work should be a distant second. If it's not this way, your priorities are f**ked, and need IMMEDIATE rearranging. Pardon me for being frank.

Second, lots of people want to leave their mark on the world- to have done some work that is meaningful before they die, beyond just collecting a paycheck. Are you doing that here? Doesn't sound like it.

I say take care and affect immediate change of things you don't like about yourself (sitting up late, drinking, smoking, etc.). Take a walk with your kids when you get home from work. Talk to them about their day- and forget yours. Do something you enjoy- whatever. Watch a comedy. But, leave work at work.

Then, get a new job. Easier said than done, sure (I know, I'm looking myself). If life is that bad, maybe you need to move- seriously. I spent six months half way across the country (my family with me). Surprisingly, it was refreshing to not have the distractions of home.

Could you get two jobs in the interim (maybe humping boxes for UPS/FedEx, Costco pays well...), until you are able to get what you want/need? More hours for less pay at something you enjoy is probably better than the sounds of what you have.

Always remember, though- ME first. Once you begin seeing things this way, your quality of work will improve, IMO.

What specific line of work are you in?

Good luck.

Todd

 

[John Garcia]

Being unemployed is still worse than working with idiots.

 

[Jeremiah W]

If you quit a job when the cards are down or things are not going right, you'll be a quitter all your life. Every job has a beginning, a time when things are the shits, pay is poor or prospects dim

I disagree as well, let's face it some jobs simply won't let you go anywhere but down,your Job should NOT rule your life, PERIOD!!!I used to work 60 hours per week but thankfully the company cut that crap out and I was VERY close to leaving for something else.

 

[Joe Tilley]

Thanks for everybodyes reply,Peter no you don't sound to preachy I think you made a lot of good points.
I don't know what I will end up doing I do know I will be looking for another job when I can,but like I said before Where I'm at a good job is hard to find.I feel like I screwed up a couple of times when I had very good jobs that payed pretty nice & quite for the same type of things pretty much,I guess that is what is making it so hard to leave this time I feel like I'm falling farther down each time,& I don't wont to go farther in the hole.I feel like I have shown my worth more than enough & it's my turn to get some respect for the things I have done.
I would love to find a job where I can actually show my talent & get some gratitude for it for once.
Thanks again guys you all made me feel a little better over the whole thing.

 

[Cam S]

Joe, would you mind me asking what you do??

My opinion is that no job is worth that much grief.

 

[Peter Overduin]

If you quit a job when the cards are down or things are not going right, you'll be a quitter all your life. Every job has a beginning, a time when things are the shits, pay is poor or prospects dim. The time to quit a job is when you are at a high; you've accomplished all your goals, achieved a sense of greatness even if the job is seemingly meanial, and when you feel that nothing remains to challenge or inspire you.

I should have made my meaning clearer and I will use the example of countless conversations I had with junior NCOs when I was their Sr Non-Com commander as well now, supervising mostly lower-paid contract staff.

It can be easy to become frustrated with a job, career progression, whatever. This is mightily complicated when supervisors (esp in a military setting) are abusive and co-workers are so eager to get ahead they will blade you at the first chance.

Do you quit? Perhaps, but for what? and I NEVER allowed a subordinate to leave my office without understanding what I quoted above. The brutal, shitty reality of it is this: I wanted my people to understand that if they quit primarily because they hated the situation they were in, they were quitting, period. Ultimately, and I know this sounds arbitrary and even cruel, we are each responsible individually with how we deal with our situation. The blame game allows us to deflect attention from ourself and the requirement to assume responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Bottom line.

If you quit because your frustration led you to upgrade yourself and you found something better...great! Or perhaps you even quit because you needed to step back and do something totally different. Perhaps there are strssors that so affect your health that it really is time to move on. But if you quit without first confronting and coming to grips with your own attitudes and feelings, you will almost certainly never succeeed because any job can bring out the worst in us and give us cause to feel anger, bitterness and resentment.

If there is one single thing that I can look back on in both my military career and my current one, it is this: I convinced many people over the years, who hated thier jobs and careers to stay on until they were ready to move on to something better. I've helped minimum wage guards get into the military; one into a fire department, and one even just into the a car dealership because she loved cars! Do I want a pat on the back? No! I give this little speel to everyone under me who files notice!

I do my damndest not to let my people quit under negative circumstances, because I know that wherever they go they will be confronted with more of the same. If they quit me, they'll quit again.

I know I am very fortunate. I retired from the military because the opportunity arose, a new situation presented itself, and I had accomplished many of the things I set out to do; in spite of some huge obstacles, and sometimes because of them.

I hope that this explains a little better what I meant by my second post.

 

[Kirk Gunn]

Peter - very inspirational. I'm headed to work all psyched up !

To build on Peter's advice, I'd like to add you cannot trap yourself in your job. While employment circumstance is a big reflection of your overall self-worth, never believe your current job is all you'll ever be doing. Treat it as a springboard to the next job opportunity. Try to view yourself in the job of your dreams and act like you've already gotten it. Example: When I decided I was ready for supervision, I did not wait to get promoted. I started acting like I was a supervisor, taking the lead on new projects, acting as a mentor to new employees, etc... and folks started following me (hint- do not be overbearing in this practice). When the opportunity came up I was informed I was "natural" for the position.

I also work in an environment full of "brown-nosers", but management is slowly trying to establish a performance-based metrics for evaluating employee performance. Talking-the-talk alone doesn't cut it anymore. Being in the IT Field, this is imperative as some of the highest performers are introverted geeks that don't talk much in public environments. They can't brown-nose because they are hidden in the computer room actually working ! (or scanning the HTF boards...) If you think the brown-nosers are winning, informally give your boss periodic updates of your productivity and ask his opinion of your performance. Many companies only do performance reviews annually, and that is a crime, since a border-line employee may go through a whole year believing they are oustanding...

Good luck, and as some wise old philosopher said to a cat dangling from a branch: "Hang in there !!!"

 

[Joseph Young]

Joe,

To utterly dread work, making yourself nauseous thinking about work in your off hours. As you drive or walk to work each day, you feel the stomach acid rising, and when you get there, your worst fears about the stress level, gossip, lazy coworkers, irate customers, it all comes true but it's actually worse.

A lot of us have been there. Short of being a prison guard or gutting fish along a factory line, I have worked pretty much every thankless, miserable job there is.

The management (snot nosed brats younger than us) don't talk to you unless they were chewing us out, the customers are all abusive and refuse to pay for anything, the machines always break down and you don't have overnight service, you always ended up working from 3 PM until after midnight, often working on weekend mornings by yourself for hours on end, doing the work of literally 15 people, being chewed out, harrassed, stolen from, getting so stressed get physically sick on the job, start yelling at customers for no reason just assuming they are going to be jerks. Oh, and the pay is utter sh*t and the benefits are terrible.

You feel surrounded by people who make you less of a person... you feel dehumanized and humiliated and helpless.

Am I right?

In other words, you hate your job. Whenever you need to vent or complain, someone invariably says: "Shush, you love your job."

I'm happy in my work. It wasn't always that way. To get into a position where this kind of an opportunity was more likely, I had to make major, difficult changes in my life.

1) Know what kind of work want to do.

2) Be willing to depend on others for a while if you are between jobs or have to take a job that pays less.

3) Nothing is worth being that miserable over.

4) It won't be easy, you will have to make sacrifices to make the job change. Just be prepared for the financial setbacks that accompany a job change, and know people who are willing to provide moral support.

But I'm not going to say that I 'pulled myself up by my bootstraps,' and used my own initiative (although that was part of it). Partially, I got lucky, and partially, I knew the right people at the right time. Who you know is going to be invariably more important than what you know.

You probably have a family to support and children to dress, feed, and house. Probably a mortgage? You cannot simply walk away from those things, but a nightmare job from which you cannot leave is a kind of abusive relationship. We want to prove that we can 'conquer' the difficulties, want to prove that we won't turn our backs on responsibility. But keep in mind that you also have a responsibility for your happiness, and that directly affects your family. If you are unhappy in your work, you are not the only one who suffers. For their sake, and yours, get out of there.

-J