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Thirteen Ghosts
"It is my professional opinion that
we should get the hell out of here now"
Yikes! Where do I begin with this?
Let me start off by saying that I never saw
William Castle's 1960 film, 13 GHOSTS -- not
that I think this a necessity for knowing that
the remake of this film is about as fun as a
root canal.
I can't begin to describe how awful this movie
is. It seems to be a cross between "Hellraiser"
and "The House on Haunted Hill", and stars a
cast of 2nd-rate actors who look embarrassed to
be a part of this film.
Cyrus Kriticos (F. Murray Abraham)is a very
rich, eccentric collector of unique things.
When he dies suddenly, he leaves his remaining
fortune to his nephew, Arthur (Tony Shalhoub)
and his family. The fortune turns out to be
in the form of a house built entirely of
glass -- right down to the walls, ceilings
and bathroom. The house is an absolute marvel
to behold. It's a maze of glass panes that open
and close by revolving gears. It's a shame that
its beauty and technology is wasted on this film.
You see, the family moves into this homestead
only to find out that they share its residence
with 12 ghosts who are entrapped in the basement.
We find out that Uncle Kriticos has been playing
God by entrapping the souls of the once living
in order to fuel his home which turns out to be
a demonic machine designed by the devil and
powered by the dead. No, folks, we are not
talking about Enron here.
For most of the 90 minutes this film runs, I
think viewers will be amazed by this house full
of sliding walls and puzzle-cubes, but will be
disgustingly shocked by the array of ghosts that
fare to be more serial-killer freaks than haunting.
How is the transfer?
This is another satisfying transfer from
Warner Brothers, a studio who has been consistent
with the quality of their new releases.
The 16X9 Enhanced Widescreen (1.85:1) Transfer
is exceptionally clean. The film grain that
usually shows up in darker movies as this is
hardly evident. Though the picture sometimes
looks as if it was shot through a hazy filter,
the picture remains smooth with lots of colors
that retain their freshness. This is just another
one of those eye-pleasing transfers that is hard
to find fault with.
The 5.1 surround mix is sensational. Most
of the film's "eeriness" can be credited to the
circle of sound that envelopes the listening area.
From the faintest whispers of demons that suddenly
emanate from a random speaker to the more pronounced
sounds of chanting that come from all directions,
you can easily just turn off the film and get a
nervous feeling inside just by listening to the
film's surround tracks.
Special Features
Once you pop in the disc, a fairly intense
animated sequence appears that involves quick
shots of the film's demons amongst closing maze
panes.
There's a full-length feature commentary by
the film's Production Designer Sean Hargreaves
and Make UP FX Howard Berger.
Thirteen Ghosts Revealed is actually
more interesting than the film itself. This
18-minute documentary begins with the cast
and crew individually reflecting on William
Castle's original 1960 film and the fact that
it was a 3D film needing special glasses to
see things popping out at you. That same idea
of needing glasses to see ghosts has been
transformed into this remake. We meet Howard
Berger, the Special Make-up FX guy, who takes
us into studio, showings us the original
conceptual designs that influenced the shocking
creations that are let loose in the house. We
see makeup and prosthetics being added to one
of the actors who has been sitting in the chair
for 4 hours. For anyone ever interested in
extensive make-up design, this is one of the
most revealing looks at the full-body make-up
process I have seen. Next up is a chat with
Production Designer, Sean Hargreaves, takes us
on the set, through his wonderful glass house,
describing the difficulty of shooting through it.
It is essential for the crew to wear dark clothing
as reflections are easily given off. It's on to
computer graphics when Visual FX Supervisor,
Michael Fink, takes us through the 3D elements
that were created for this film. We are taken
through a step-by-step procedure on how the house's
huge gear-machine center was digitally created.
It's an amazing look at how one of the movie's
most impressive FX shots was created layer-by-layer.
As I noted above, watching this exceptionally
detailed documentary was more enjoyable than
the film itself.
Here's a very interesting feature. GHOST
FILES takes us through the glass house's
main doors and up to the library where we stop
at a shelf filled with 13 articles ranging from
a shoe, a bunch of playing cards, to a trophy.
All these artifacts represent something belonging
to the 12 Ghosts of the household. Click on an
item and you are taken through a filmed segment
tracing the life history of each ghost. Each
segment is cleverly filmed with an eerie story
combined with B&W newsreel footage.
Tricky "Excess" Club Reel is the complete
music video for the film.
In addition to the usual Cast and Crew
Filmography, there is a text-based Biography
of Producer/Director William Castle, who is
responsible for the 1960 film. It's interesting
to read that he got his very first role on
Broadway at the age of 15, pretending to be the
nephew of Samuel Goldwyn.
Lastly, the film's Original Theatrical Trailer
is included.
Final Thoughts
Warner Brothers has done far more justice to
this film than it deserves by creating a Special
Edition DVD whose only worth is its extra content.
Thirteen Ghosts is a bad film. It's hard
to imagine that Robert Zemeckis's name is attached
to the production credits. And what ever happened
to F. Murray Abraham's career that he ended up
in this mess?
The only true scary thing about this DVD is that
there are going to be people who will buy it.
Release Date: April 2, 2002
