How many divorced or single people do we have here? (1 Viewer)

[Sean Conklin]

Well, it looks like the end of my marriage has come after 13 years, I am both happy and sad. The only problem is we have a 3 year old daughter that I wanted to raise together.
I believe my wife is bi-polar and we just don't get along.
of course I'm completely normal. yeah right!
Out of the blue tonight, she decided we need a separation, and finally took her seriously after not changing her mind.
We talked tonight and have agreed on 50/50 custody of our daughter with neither party being sued for palimony/alimony.
Anyway seems like it's an ugly proposition!
So how many of you are still divorced and/or single?
A question to the divorcees: Does the hurt wear off after being separated from your spouse? Will life return to normal?

 

[Jon_B]

Sean I'm really sorry to hear this. :frowning: I wish I could offer you advice. I've never been married and have only dated a couple women.
I hope everything works out for you.
Jon

 

[DougRuss]

It seams like 13 is a Magic Number (?)
After 13 years of marriage, I too went thru a divorce.
We decided on a Simple Divorce, ( no sueing for this and that). Did pay Child support though. Until my son ( 16 then) decided he wanted to live with me, then the Support stopped.
She moved to a different State for several years, which sort of made it easier to get over her. But the hurt lingers for awhile.
Life goes ON !
*
At least now, I don't have to get permission to walk around the block ?
Hang in there !!

 

[Nick Sievers]

Single, but remember i'm only 20
My folks split up mid 2001 after about 22years of marriage. I could see it coming for about 5 years though, and its better now because they seem to get along. Which might sound kind of strange?.?

 

[JonZ]

People always ask me why Im not married yet. Most of my friends and the people I work with are women who are always pestering me.

They think its because Im afraid of commitment, but thats not true.Its because Im afraid of divorce. My parents seperated when I was 9 and I always said Id never do that to someone else.

Anyways, no g/f at the moment,Ive been single for 4 months.

 

[Chad Isaacs]

Well,I should be a "free" man in march.The most important thing is try to "hide" your pain while with the kid(s) as much as possible.They will feel your pain and it will make it that much harder for them to recover

Life will return to normal...to some point.When my wife left,it was for another man.She did not just leave me,she left every thing she had ever lived for behind.Me,our kids,her family,my family,church,our friends etc. etc. She now appears to have a gambling and a drinking probelem and I have smelled pot smoke in her car more than once...we never did drugs

Lucky for me,I have always been a quick healer.Sadly everyone is different and some people take years to get over such a painful thing.

I wish you the best of luck and that during this time no other painful things will happen.I know during the early stages my grandma fell very ill and she lived with me at the time and we eventually had to make the decision to put her in a nursing home...then the kids and I had to move.

Take care of you.Get your self in a good church,I know I would of never made it through without it.Alot of church's have divorce support groups,my church even has free counseling and that is somthing I reccomend,if for no other reason that to just have somebody nuetral to sit and talk to and to cry with.

 

[Rain]

Well, based on some of your previous posts, I guess I'm not entirely shocked by this announcement. Still unfortunate news, though.

Obviously, I've never been legally married, so I can't really give out any divorce advice.

However, I can say with complete confidence that, yes, it will get easier in time and you will adjust. In fact, you may even come to realize that this was for the best.

I've heard of people staying together "for the kids," but I think this is stupid. I'm speaking as someone whose parents were (and still are) very unhappily married. Watching them fight every single day was very hard...and even when I was only about 6 or 7, I so wished they would just separate and get on with it.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't worry too much about your daughter. She too will adapt. And this is probably better for her overall than trying to stay together and being miserable.

For the time being, you're probably feeling a wide variety of emotions. Hang in there...it'll get better.

 

[Tony_Faville]

My first marriage ended after 7.5 years, I got tired of lying to myself about being happy. I remarried a couple years later and just celebrated my 3rd wedding anniversary with the new wife.....and I no longer have to lie to myself when I say I am happy.

Hang in there...it will get better.

 

[Jack Briggs]

Rain's post is the voice of wisdom, Sean. Take it to heart.

As for me? Twice divorced. With kids, too. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. I am happier generally than I have ever been. Just me and my little buddy, Attila the Cat (whom I love far, far more than either of the two wives).

Believe me, Sean, it doesn't seem like it now but it will definitely get better. Time heals everything.

Then you'll start dating again. Guess what? That opens up lots of possibilties. And I love the strange. ...

 

[Rain]

Just me and my little buddy, Attila the Cat (whom I love far, far more than either of the two wives).

Oh yes, if you don't already live with one, adopt a kitty. Trust me on this one.

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

Yeah, cats are better than.....let's not go there.
I broke up with my last girlfriend in May of 1979 (no typo) and have had little interest since. I guess I too am scared of breakups/divorce so I would rather not begin something at all. Besides my three cats are such good company.

 

[Alex Spindler]

I have come to realize that I expect divorce, so I am pretty well unconciously sabotaging relationships before they have a chance to gather momentum. Something I'm conciously trying to correct. But, I come from a thrice divorced parent. Not all that surprising, just difficult to compensate for.

26, BTW.

 

[Julie K]

Single, always have been and am completely happy that way.

 

[Jack Briggs]

Dennis, you're an attorney aren't you? That would easily explain your reluctance to get hitched! You know too much! JB

 

[Ron Eastman]

I'm single but in a committed relationship that has lasted 14 years so far. (that was not a typo)

My girlfriend, our families and our friends think we should just get married and get it over with but I don't believe in screwing with something that's going fine. She has never given me an ultimatum, knowing that I'm so stubborn that I'd call her on it, but I know that me not making that final commitment hurts her. That piece of paper could never be a positive thing for me as I have no desire to leave this relationship and it could only serve to make me feel trapped.

 

[Nick Sievers]

Watching them fight every single day was very hard...and even when I was only about 6 or 7, I so wished they would just separate and get on with it.

Exactly how I felt except I was a little older. While it was sad when it actually happened, they both seem so much more happy now .

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

Dennis, you're an attorney aren't you? That would easily explain your reluctance to get hitched!

Q. What do attorneys use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.....
Actually I didn't become a lawyer until age 43, being an engineer before that. Besides I'm a patent attorney: I know enough to stay the hell away from "family law". They have the highest murder rate of ANY profession. All too often the angry ex goes and shoots the spouse's lawyer. Happened recently near here in Santa Cruz. Patents are just about money and nobody gets shot.

 

[Steve Christou]

Sorry to hear that Sean, I've never married and probably never will, tell the truth it scares the shit out of me, I love Sandra, but I'm 13 years older than her, I don't think this relationship will last, sadly.:frowning:

 

[Phil A]

Divorced twice - now very happy but have a bad attitude - hey but no one is perfect and now just going through the normal 5.1 channels of life. It is better to get those things over with a learn from your mistakes when you are younger. It's tough to teach an old dog new tricks.

 

[Sean Conklin]

I love Sandra, but I'm 13 years older than her, I don't think this relationship will last, sadly.

Steve: From the way you always talk about Sandra, I figured your relationship was iron clad.
Rain: I know I've posted some outlandish posts about Drew Barrymore and maybe others I don't remember, But my wife and I have had some horrific times in our life, although neither of us has cheated on each other(at least I know I haven't), we got married real young and we are just finding out we have nothing in common, I like Racing, she doesn't, I love HT, she DOES NOT, I like to go fishing, she doesn't and so on.
We have spent pretty much the last year just living together, and I was getting to a point when I wanted her to go to work and not be around me, and visa versa I'm sure! So out of blue she proclaims boldly, I want a separtion, and want to live by myself for a while.
Well I didn't expect it and now I'm a little sad, she was my first real girlfriend and I feel like I've lost a good friend.
Chad: Everytime I see you post I wonder how you're doing, it wasn't too long ago you posted with similarly GRIM news. I am glad to hear you are doing ok.
I'm not sure, but I don't feel like I'm going to be ok for a while.