How managers brains work (1 Viewer)

[Eric_L]

A magazine ran a Dilbert quotes contest. These are actual
quotes from real life managers.


As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the
building using individual security cards. Pictures will be
taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards
in two weeks.
(This was the winning quote)

What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will
encounter.

How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?

I-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data.
It should be used only for company business.

Turnover is good for the company, as it proves that we are
doing a good job in training people.

This project is so important, we can't let things that are
more important interfere with it.

Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.

No one will believe you solved this problem in one day!
We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for
a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell
them.

 

[KyleS]

Those were pretty good Eric.

KyleS

 

[LewB]

How manager's what works ? I think you are giving too much credit :rolleyes

 

[MarkHastings]

This isn't true, but it sounds like it could be:

Before the attack:
Fred, the CIO, decided things had been running great, there was no need to have an expensive systems administrator on the payroll. He laid off the admin and got a bonus for saving the company money.

"After all" he said, "things seem to be running just fine without him. If you don't touch it, it won't break."

After the attack:
Fred, the CIO appeared before the board today to explain why his system was down, locking customers from their accounts.

"It was the office manager's fault. He failed to secure the systems properly. I have always advocated secure systems for our company and our customers. As a result of his failure to maintain proper security, I have terminated him."

Today, Fred received a bonus for his brilliant performance and efficiency.