How managers brains work

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Eric_L, May 22, 2003.

  1. Eric_L

    Eric_L Screenwriter

    Nov 2, 2002
    Likes Received:
    A magazine ran a Dilbert quotes contest. These are actual
    quotes from real life managers.

    As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the
    building using individual security cards. Pictures will be
    taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards
    in two weeks.
    (This was the winning quote)

    What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will

    How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?

    I-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data.
    It should be used only for company business.

    Turnover is good for the company, as it proves that we are
    doing a good job in training people.

    This project is so important, we can't let things that are
    more important interfere with it.

    Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.

    No one will believe you solved this problem in one day!
    We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for
    a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell
  2. KyleS

    KyleS Screenwriter

    Jul 24, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Those were pretty good Eric.

  3. LewB

    LewB Screenwriter

    Feb 11, 2002
    Likes Received:
    How manager's what works ? I think you are giving too much credit [​IMG]
  4. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

    Jan 27, 2003
    Likes Received:
    This isn't true, but it sounds like it could be:

    Before the attack:
    Fred, the CIO, decided things had been running great, there was no need to have an expensive systems administrator on the payroll. He laid off the admin and got a bonus for saving the company money.

    "After all" he said, "things seem to be running just fine without him. If you don't touch it, it won't break."

    After the attack:
    Fred, the CIO appeared before the board today to explain why his system was down, locking customers from their accounts.

    "It was the office manager's fault. He failed to secure the systems properly. I have always advocated secure systems for our company and our customers. As a result of his failure to maintain proper security, I have terminated him."

    Today, Fred received a bonus for his brilliant performance and efficiency.

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