Home Theater rules

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Oliver Kopp, Aug 12, 2001.

  1. Oliver Kopp

    Oliver Kopp Stunt Coordinator

    Oct 6, 1999
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    Real Name:
    I was going through some old files on my harddrive today and found a thread with Fight Club inspired Hometheaterrules from early last year. The following are the 20 best of them. Enjoy and feel free to add some more [​IMG]
    You do not ask to have the volume turned down
    You DO NOT ask to have the volume turned down
    If you try to take my chair, you HAVE to fight
    You DO NOT say "I can't see the difference between DVD and VHS"
    You DO NOT discuss the movie during the movie
    If you ask about the black bars on the picture, you will be escorted out
    Shirts & Shoes stay on. Unless you are female and you are attractive
    It is not too hot or too cold, it's perfect
    Don't ask if the lights can be turned on
    You DO NOT touch the remote, you do not look at the remote, the volume down button does not exist on the remote
    You will have all snacks and beverages in hand BEFORE the movie starts
    Did you know urine is sterile and you can drink it?
    You DO NOT ask why the chairs are all vibrating
    You DO NOT talk about the layer change!
    You DO NOT ask why you can't record movies on DVD's
    You DO NOT ask why Star Wars is not on DVD
    You DO NOT ask how much money i've invested in this thing
    You DO NOT ask why I have so many DVDs
    You DO NOT comment on the side change on LD movies
    You DO NOT complain when I have to get up and switch discs for longer LD movies
  2. Dominik Droscher

    Dominik Droscher Supporting Actor

    Sep 11, 2000
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    hehe, classic [​IMG]
  3. Matthew Chmiel

    Matthew Chmiel Cinematographer

    Apr 26, 2000
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    I remember that thread... oh, the memories. [​IMG]
    Now where's that picture of Ron and Mr. Knapp? [​IMG]
    DVD In Detail - DVD Reviewer
    My DVD Collection / AOL IM: MrMatthew / ICQ: 96444542
    "I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class. Especially since I rule."
    [Edited last by Matthew Chmiel on August 12, 2001 at 04:50 PM]
  4. bryan knott

    bryan knott Extra

    Feb 3, 2001
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    My wife read that with me & I said that it must have been written with her in mind. [​IMG]
  5. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Apr 25, 2000
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    Manchester, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    You DO NOT touch my DVDs ever.
    You DO NOT use my Showgirls DVD as a frisbee.
    You DO NOT use my Showgirls DVD as a coaster.
    You DO NOT use my Showgirls DVD as an ashtray.
    You DO NOT touch my DVDs ever, I mean it!
    You DO NOT question why I rewind certain scenes.
    You DO NOT question why I freeze-frame certain scenes.
    You DO NOT question why I zoom into certain scenes.
    You DO NOT question why I'm wearing a toga while watching certain films.
    You DO NOT question why I'm naked while watching certain films.
    You DO NOT question why I have my tongue in your ear while watching certain films.
    You DO NOT smash me over the head with your shoe because of my stupid HT rules.
    You DO NOT puff smoke over my unconscious body.
    You DO NOT rest your feet over my unconscious body while watching TV.
    You DO NOT let the cat sleep on my still dormant body while watching tv.
    You DO NOT go to bed and leave me lying there on the carpet.
  6. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

    Jul 30, 2000
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  7. MichaelPe

    MichaelPe Screenwriter

    Feb 22, 1999
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  8. Sebastian_M

    Sebastian_M Stunt Coordinator

    Sep 3, 2000
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    [​IMG] [​IMG]
    I remember when that picture was originally posted! That's still really great.
    Steve, I think you forgot a few rules regarding your coveted "Showgirls" DVD. [​IMG]
    All that is gold does not glitter,
    Not all those who wander are lost;
    The old that is strong does not wither,
    Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
    From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
    A light from the shadows shall spring;
    Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
    The crownless again shall be king.
  9. Kevin Fox

    Kevin Fox Stunt Coordinator

    Jul 14, 1999
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    I suppose it's too late to ask that the original thread be placed in the archive. I couldn't find it in a search. I know a lot of people who weren't members of the HTF then would love to see it now.
    "What is best in life?"
    "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women..."

    Roykirk's DVD Collection

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