Hey peeps Sandra sends rude message

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Steve Christou, Nov 30, 2001.

  1. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    My silly girly Sandra sent me this email half an hour ago from her workplace with her kind permission to post it on the HTF, who says she doesnt have a sense of humor?!![​IMG]
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    Who Is Jack Schitt?
    For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
    Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
    In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections,
    Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
    After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
    Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
    The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
    The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
    Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.
    Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt
     
  2. Bill Balcziak

    Bill Balcziak Supporting Actor

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    You forgot to mention the famous baseball star of the 50s, Dom Schitt.
     
  3. JasenP

    JasenP Screenwriter

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    I thought Jack and Schitt were two different people as referenced in Army Of Darkness "You ain't leading but two things; Jack and Schitt, and Jack left town."
     
  4. Tom-G

    Tom-G Screenwriter

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  5. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    Hey, easy there--takin' my name in vain. [​IMG]
     

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