Leila Dougan
Screenwriter
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2002
- Messages
- 1,352
My brother, as much as I love him, is turning out to be a screw-up. He is very immature, lazy, spoiled, and absolutely no ambition or motivation. While I realize that most 17 year old males are immature, all of my family thinks he is overly so, probably more like a 13 or 14 year old. He graduated high school this past May, but barely and only because he convinced them to let him take special-ed classes. My brother is intelligent (IQ 135) and has always scored high on achievement tests.
He's tried to have a few jobs but ends up getting fired for not doing what he's supposed to be doing. He will go out with friends for days at a time, stays up all night, and gets very little sleep. We have not dismissed the possiblity that he's into drugs or alcohol, though there has never been any evidence (my mom is a trained drug abuse social worker so she knows what to look out for). During the summer he didn't have any friends and never left the house (not once in a whole month!) and instead opted to play video games 14-16 hrs/day.
He tried going to a local university this semester but dropped out after a month after he realized he couldn't pass his classes by not attending class. For the past two months he has just been hanging out at home, not working, not going to school, not helping around the house. He is most unreasonable and you cannot talk to him without a huge argument which usually results in him leaving the house for a few days. He's had this "bad attitude" for a few years now and has recently started getting physical (hitting my mother) and getting scary for them.
My parents demanded he do something (work, school, military, something). He decided to join the Air Force and was shipped off to Basic Training this past week. Yesterday my parents got a call from a Sargeant saying that my brother was refusing to do any running or pushups and asked if my parents would support the AF. My parents told him that of course they did. They know that my brother desperately needs "tough love" and that something has to change. We think he's despressed but has refused for years to go to a therapist or take the anti-depressants he was prescribed.
Sorry for the long post (I wanted to get some background in). I have a few questions:
How bad does someone have to screw up to get discharged during basic? From what I've read, those who make it to graduation generally do well. Is there any hope?
If he gets kicked out of the AF and comes back home, he will be impossible to deal with. My parents desperately want to kick him out, but being that he's only 17, they can't. We are all at the end of our ropes. My parents are on vaction (a cruise) for nearly two weeks so if anything happens during that time I will be responsible for getting him (I'm 200 miles away).
Does anyone have any ideas how to deal with him, in general? We do not want to be enablers.
Thank you.
He's tried to have a few jobs but ends up getting fired for not doing what he's supposed to be doing. He will go out with friends for days at a time, stays up all night, and gets very little sleep. We have not dismissed the possiblity that he's into drugs or alcohol, though there has never been any evidence (my mom is a trained drug abuse social worker so she knows what to look out for). During the summer he didn't have any friends and never left the house (not once in a whole month!) and instead opted to play video games 14-16 hrs/day.
He tried going to a local university this semester but dropped out after a month after he realized he couldn't pass his classes by not attending class. For the past two months he has just been hanging out at home, not working, not going to school, not helping around the house. He is most unreasonable and you cannot talk to him without a huge argument which usually results in him leaving the house for a few days. He's had this "bad attitude" for a few years now and has recently started getting physical (hitting my mother) and getting scary for them.
My parents demanded he do something (work, school, military, something). He decided to join the Air Force and was shipped off to Basic Training this past week. Yesterday my parents got a call from a Sargeant saying that my brother was refusing to do any running or pushups and asked if my parents would support the AF. My parents told him that of course they did. They know that my brother desperately needs "tough love" and that something has to change. We think he's despressed but has refused for years to go to a therapist or take the anti-depressants he was prescribed.
Sorry for the long post (I wanted to get some background in). I have a few questions:
How bad does someone have to screw up to get discharged during basic? From what I've read, those who make it to graduation generally do well. Is there any hope?
If he gets kicked out of the AF and comes back home, he will be impossible to deal with. My parents desperately want to kick him out, but being that he's only 17, they can't. We are all at the end of our ropes. My parents are on vaction (a cruise) for nearly two weeks so if anything happens during that time I will be responsible for getting him (I'm 200 miles away).
Does anyone have any ideas how to deal with him, in general? We do not want to be enablers.
Thank you.