1. Sign-up to become a member, and most of the ads you see will disappear. It only takes 30 seconds to sign up, so join the discussion today!
    Dismiss Notice

Help me find an old joke...

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Drew Bethel, Jan 22, 2002.

  1. Drew Bethel

    Drew Bethel Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Messages:
    1,209
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    It compares the things women do whle going to (or taking a shower) and what guys do (ex, flashing your woman, etc.)
     
  2. Mats Kellberg

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
  3. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2000
    Messages:
    12,251
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    You say you're looking for an old joke?
    If you want my sex life, you can have it! [​IMG]
     
  4. Drew Bethel

    Drew Bethel Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Messages:
    1,209
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Thanks a lot Mats. Whateer that link is just cause me a firewall violation. :b
     
  5. Bjorn Olav Nyberg

    Bjorn Olav Nyberg Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 1999
    Messages:
    945
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Naa, I think it's just that the site is database operated or something, and the web pages are created temporarily then expire or something like that...

    How to Shower Like a Woman:

    1. Take off fourteen layers of clothing you put on this morning.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing robe and towel on head. If you

    happen to see husband along the way, ignore juvenile

    "turban-head" jokes and run to bathroom.

    3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick out stomach so

    as to complain about how fat you're getting.

    4. Turn on hot water only.

    5. Get in the shower, once you've found it through all the steam.

    6. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide

    loofah, and pumice stone.

    7. Wash hair once with cucumber and lemon shampoo with 83 added

    vitamins.

    8. Rinse hair. Condition your hair with cucumber and lemon

    conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair

    for fifteen minutes.

    9. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes

    until red and raw.

    10. Try to wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Java

    Cake bodywash.

    11. Complain bitterly when you realize that your husband has

    once again been EATING your ginger nut and java cake body

    wash.

    12. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen

    minutes, as you must make sure that all the conditioner has

    come off).

    13. Debate shaving armpits and legs and decide that you can't be

    bothered.

    14. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you

    get a rush of cold water.

    15. Turn hot water on full and rinse off.

    16. Dry with a towel the size of a small African country.

    ******************************

    How to Shower Like a Man:

    1. Sit on the edge of the bed and take off the underwear you've

    walking around the house in all morning. Leave them on the

    floor.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your wife along

    the way, flash her.

    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Pat your beer

    belly with affection as if it was a great achievement. Suck

    in your gut to see if you have pecs. (No.)

    4. Turn on the water.

    5. Check for pecs again. (Still no.)

    6. Get in the shower.

    7. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (You don't use one.)

    8. Spend 5 minutes soaping your body and rinse.

    9. Spend 15 minutes washing your crotch and surrounding area.

    10. Wash your rear end.

    11. Shampoo your hair, do not use conditioner.

    12. Make a shampoo mohawk.

    13. Open the door and look at yourself in the mirror, giggle.

    14. Pee.

    15. Repeat #9, because it felt good.

    16. Rinse off and get out of the shower.

    17. Pick up the towel and sniff it. If it smells okay, go ahead

    and dry off with it. If it doesn't smell okay, holler to your

    wife to find you a clean one.

    18. Return to the bedroom wearing the towel, if you pass your

    wife, flash her.
     
  6. Kirsten

    Kirsten Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2001
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    That's funny 'cause it's true.
     
  7. Drew Bethel

    Drew Bethel Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 1999
    Messages:
    1,209
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Thanks guys!
     
  8. Clinton McClure

    Clinton McClure Casual Enthusiast
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 1999
    Messages:
    4,544
    Likes Received:
    469
    Trophy Points:
    4,110
    Location:
    Central Arkansas
    Real Name:
    Clint
    Old joke = Take my wife, please! [​IMG]
     
  9. Bruce Hedtke

    Bruce Hedtke Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 1999
    Messages:
    2,249
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
     

Share This Page