Hell is being forced to have your pad repainted.

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Jack Briggs, Jun 27, 2002.

  1. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    "Hell," in my case, is the city of Los Angeles mandating that all apartment buildings be repainted at certain intervals.

    The house only now is coming back to order. My cat, Attila, is still at the doctor's place, and won't return until Saturday, until our home resembles "normal" and the fumes from the primer and paint dissipate.

    All DVDs are still under wraps. The equipment is still covered, except for the smaller setup in the bedroom.

    That's where I'm headed now, with a DVD collected from its temporary location and a beer clutched in my fist.

    I slept on a tarp-covered floor last night, determined to maintain some sort of control over things. It hurt to walk to any one point in the place. Dried paint flecks and tarp and plastic and fumes and general disorder and an inability to locate my coffeemaker contributed to my generally dismal view of the world this time last night.

    And my computer was somewhere under a large piece of tarp. Made me mad. Even dreamed about it.

    Now, though, my computer is reconnected. Then my next task is to make the carpet safer for Attila. (Heavy-duty vacuum job. Paint flecks everywhere.)

    This is what it feels like to be a second-class citizen--when someone else makes you do something you don't want to do, something you despise the very thought of doing.

    Attila was in a total panic when these people invaded our home. I had to call his doctor--the paint-crew supervisor said the primer fumes would be dangerous.

    Attila's doctor concurred.

    The little fellow, detained for his own safety in the bathroom throughout most of this, was so panicky that the doctor, who is all of a half-mile away, drove over himself to tranquilize my muscle-driven powerhouse of fur and sharp, sharp appendages.

    So, I grappled this mighty little cat and held his face to my chest as the doctor advised ("I want him to smell you!" he shouted above the din of the paint crew setting up, in turn thoroughly frightening the ferocious, friendly feline).

    Attila received his small dose of ketamine. He loosened slightly, but still, in his panic, sunk a claw into a blood vessel in my wrist as I helped the doctor get him into the carrier. I was unable to operate my thumb for the better part of an hour (the bruise was magnificent). Attila's doctor poured some alcohol over my wrist after it had erupted geyser-style.

    So, I rode with the doctor to the office, Attila loosening up in his carrier. He was pretty much out of it when we arrived at the temporary digs.

    As I type, only now is the place starting to resemble its former self. The paint looks nice. But I miss the familiar presence either lying by my feet as I type, or in my lap, or curled up on the futon next to me. Yet it's safer for him to be at the doc's place presently.

    Last night, I was so stressed out, I konked out on my little stretch of tarp at nine, and slept until eight-thirty this morning, just a half-hour before the paint crew arrived to complete the hellish job they had begun.

    I read a book by Terence McKenna in the back patio all day long, until the paint crew grabbed their foul instruments, took out the tarps, and left me to clean the place up a little better.

    Hell.
     
  2. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

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    "A day in the life of Jack Briggs"

    haha
     
  3. Philip_G

    Philip_G Producer

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    hey, at least they paint your pad. Mine hasn't been painted in years.
     
  4. Brian Perry

    Brian Perry Cinematographer

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    Are they decent painters? Did they remove the outlet and swtich plates or just paint right over them?
     
  5. Julie K

    Julie K Screenwriter

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    Poor Jack and Attila!
    This may be bad, but it's worse when you own your own place, because then you have no one to blame but yourself. I need to repaint my ceiling of all things (courtesy of a leaky roof last winter) and while I'll be doing it myself in small doses, I absolutely dread the process. But the most horrible thing is that no one but myself is making me do this.
    Anyway, that probably didn't make you feel much better. Just grab a few more beers and soon it will be over [​IMG]
     
  6. Philip Hamm

    Philip Hamm Lead Actor

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    Time to quit renting and buy. [​IMG] Then you only have yourself to blame.
    I am in the midst of a major home improvement project which consists fo repainting most of my house, inside and out, installing crown moulding, and replacing carpets. Like Julie my project has included a great deal of ceiling painting, which is no fun. It's nice to have early teen nephews who know how to paint. [​IMG]
     
  7. Glenn Overholt

    Glenn Overholt Producer

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    Jack, how did that law get passed? Are they trying to boost paint sales or hide the old lead-based stuff?

    Glenn
     
  8. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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    No kidding, what gives with that law? Personally, I'm waiting for the government in California to start wiping people's rear ends for them. They might as well; they treat their citizens like children. Lead based paint notwithstanding, it's not the government's job to ensure your apartment is repainted. Totally insane.
    I feel for you, Jack. Not so much over the whole cat thing, though that didn't sound like fun at all, but because the government thinks it can send people in to tear up your place every so often and there's nothing you can do about it. [​IMG]
     
  9. Chris Lock

    Chris Lock Second Unit

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    That's what happens when gov't runs amuck.
     
  10. Rain

    Rain Producer

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  11. Julie K

    Julie K Screenwriter

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    What a way to finish a horrible day - having to close one's own thread. Come on folks, let's don't make Jack's day any worse [​IMG]
     
  12. Mary M S

    Mary M S Screenwriter

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    So Attila was not amused.

    I'm sorry Jack, best of luck, resorting your home!
     
  13. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    • More than anything, I simply want Attila back home. He doesn't understand what's going on, and I am worried he thinks I have abandoned him.
    • The ordeal is not over. Later today, inspectors from the city of Los Angeles are entering all the apartments to do a walk-through inspection. "Fishbowl" is the operative word here; just invade our homes, and help yourselves to the private domain of the renters. And since I do not want people entering my place without my being there, I am missing yet another day at work. I plan on sharing with these inspectors my impressions and opinions about all of this. I am good at that. (So, that's where we'll leave it. I've had to lock my own threads before; don't wanna do it again.)
    • Yes, the paint job was well executed, and all outlets and fixtures and other peripherals were spared. But I had to be there--these people were about to set down some of their damn equipment on the top of my already-covered Sony WEGA! And one of them, when I returned to the room moments later, was going to try to move this 300-pound display/stand combo himself--pushing on the WEGA itself! (The set would have tumbled forward. Can you believe that?) I set the groundrules instantly: "You must work around this big monitor here--and do so carefully.")
    • Rain: It was True Hallucinations. Well-written, adventurous, and completely silly. McKenna was his own worst enemy insofar as being taken seriously by the scientific establishment. I as much as told him so when I interviewed him in 1993 for the Los Angeles Reader. "Time wave," indeed.
    • I once owned a condo--and getting rid of it was an albatross-like affair, the likes of which I care never to repeat. On the other hand, going through this mess. ...
    • Thanks for the sympathy! [​IMG]
     
  14. Ron-P

    Ron-P Producer

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    Well, at least someone is painting for you. Last weekend I painted my back patio cover. A total of almost 900sf. It is all constructed of rough-sawen wood. What a pain in the arse that was.
    Tomorrow, we are painting the master bedroom. Oh yippie!
    BTW Jack, How'd TJ's turn out, get any Full Sail?
    Peace Out~[​IMG]
     
  15. Julie K

    Julie K Screenwriter

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    I take back my words about making yourself do something miserable being worse than when someone else does it. At least I don't have to have someone come around and inspect my house after I finish the ceilings. That's truly nasty.

    Give them hell, Jack.
     
  16. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    Hell is actually painting your entire house exteriors without the use of a power paint sprayer by yourself. I did this 4 years ago, and it's about time to do it again...hmmm...
     
  17. Jefferson

    Jefferson Supporting Actor

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    I was talking to a friend of mine in LA, and he was talking about that painting thing, and was nervous about "having to ask permission to get a window unit AC" and I thought....I couldn't get anybody to walk through my apt in NYC, or paint it, or even fill in the bullet holes in the wall in the hallway.
    I think it is a sweet deal you've got, Jack.
     
  18. Philip Hamm

    Philip Hamm Lead Actor

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  19. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    Actually, I think I'll just do the trim around the house, so it'll still be a brush job for the most part. The last time I used a roller with a paint feed to it, so it wasn't too bad, but I still needed to brush the edges for each row of wood planks. The sides looks okay, but the trim just fell off the wood trim due to the sunrays battering them daily.
     
  20. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    "muscle-driven powerhouse of fur and sharp, sharp appendages. "
    That's one great line!
    You know it's bad when you close your own thread[​IMG]
    "Do it one more time brentl and I have to suspend you"[​IMG]
    brentl
     

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