Got any tips for lending DVDs? (1 Viewer)

[Woo Jae]

You know, I think it IS important to be anal about taking care of your stuff that you love/enjoy. I understand the sentiment of "Don't sweat the small stuff" that a friendship offers, but if you are seriously collecting then this attitude just won't cut it. Sure, you can lend occasionally to trusted friends. But appearances and the way people do things in one area of life can be completely deceiving.

I guess the biggest thing here is quite simple: Lay down the law when lending DVDs to others - good friend or no- and let them understand that YOU VALUE YOUR STUFF. It's always good to get the ground rules straight when interacting with others. As DVD watching/viewing is my main hobby, I don't like dealing with the hassle of lending stuff and asking to get it back.

 

[MarkHastings]

Mark (Bendiksen) and others, Just to play devils advocate here:

First of all, we can all assume that nobody is going to lend DVD's to an un-trusting person...with that in mind-

If you say you only lend out DVD's to people you trust, then why won't you lend them an expensive title? If you "trust" them, then there should be no reason why the disc would get damaged.

Sure accidents can happen, but accidents have nothing to do with trust. Even the most trust worthy of person can have an accident.

What it really sounds like is that you just don't mind if a borrowed DVD of your gets wrecked, because you can easily replace it. That's fine if you feel that way, but most of us aren't exactly thrilled by it.

There are lots of people that I don't trust (who don't get to borrow DVD's) and there are people who I COMPLETELY trust (that still don't get to borrow DVD's)

So it's not really a matter of trusting a person, it's more of the fact that you are ok with the knowledge that you might have to replace the disc if this person ruins it.

Me, I don't really want to have to go through the process of replacing anything, so I try to eliminate the odds as much as possible.

I've always thougth it's the people one called friends that actually borrowed stuff

What? That sounds bizarre to me. The definition of a friend isn't "someone you borrow stuff from". A friend should be more than a "Lending Library". Anyone who is using you to borrow stuff from is probably not a true friend.

The word leech comes to mind.

I guess I can understand if you are young and can't afford to buy stuff, you and your friends can swap all you want. But when you and your friends are over 30, you tend to get more personal about your possessions. If my friend wants to see a certain movie, he can buy (or rent) it just like I did. They're all big boys now and work for a living.

 

[Eggert]

The word leech comes to mind.

Sure, if someone only comes over to borrow DVDs, leech would apply.

However, a person who is my friend (in all the ways that matter), but also happens to ask if he may borrow a DVD, will get that DVD. And I do not consider him any less a friend if he happens to ask to borrow a few DVDs.


Best regards,
Eggert

 

[Holadem]

However, a person who is my friend (in all the ways that matter), but also happens to ask if he may borrow a DVD, will get that DVD. And I do not consider him any less a friend if he happens to ask to borrow a few DVDs.

Thank you, this is my point, in response to the one who said on the previous page "friends don't ask to borrow stuff". That is the strangest thing I have ever heard.

--
Holadem

 

[Steve Phillips]

Don't do it. There is such a place as Blockbuster, and even the public Library, where many DVDs can be checked out for free.

 

[Patrick Sun]

Lend out whatever you don't ever expect/want to see again.

 

[Andrew Bunk]

If anyone has any doubts about how the average person (not HT enthusiasts) handles DVD's, just rent something from Hollywood, Blockbuster, or Netflix. It's rare that I ever find a disc that is not marked up. Obviously some discs could be in circulation for a while, but I mostly rent new releases that have only been out a week or two, so it's obvious the damage has been done in only 1-3 rentals. That's just sad. People treat these things like coasters.

I've lent discs to a few people at work, with mixed results. Mostly they've taken too long to come back to me (3 weeks or more), and in some cases there were excessive fingerprints on the data side. One guy has them back to me like lightning, and never a mark on them, so obviously I have no problem lending to him.

I mostly don't want to have to nag people for DVD's back every week-especially if they're the forgetful type. Some are too busy to watch the movies right away, but if that's the case, get a Netflix account or don't borrow at all.

This is why I don't borrow DVD's from others as well. I'd hate to think someone's waiting for me to finish with it, because I know what it feels like. Plus, like some people have illustrated here, there are those that just don't place a lot of value on a DVD-it's only $20, so no need to be careful with it. But to the person that has spent $20 x 500 titles, it is a big deal.

 

[Eric Huffstutler]

Guess the general consensus is don't lend them out. You may have good intentions but let's face it. With today's society and mindset, people are too much in a hurry to be careful with anything.

If someone wants to watch a movie I will invite them to watch it with me.

I have lost more than DVDs by loaning things out to friends, some who have since moved on with my goods!

 

[Dave Scarpa]

I pretty much don't do it anymore, most people look at you like a freak when your buggering over a ripped cover or scratched and fingerprinted disk, it's no big deal to them it's "only" a movie. Even my Best friend lost my disk one of Monster's Inc, I still have Disk 2 thou. And when I used to lend a few at work I'd be asking about them a Month Later. So No more. I still have people who think I'm a jerk for saying no. But you know what? It does'nt Bother Me anymore.

 

[David Susilo]

I only lend my DVDs to ONE GUY and that's because he respects anybody's properties like I respect MY OWN.

For other people, I tend to tell them to bring a blank DVD-R and I copy the title for them. Usually after saying that, I got a response something like "I might as well rent the DVD" and my response usually something like "well, why don't you?"

 

[Chris Lockwood]

> But when you and your friends are over 30, you tend to get more personal about your possessions.

Or maybe you get more mature, and don't worry as much about your inexpensive possessions like a child would, and you also expect your friends to be mature enough to treat your stuff with care and return it promptly.


> Even my Best friend lost my disk one of Monster's Inc, I still have Disk 2 thou.

Why hasn't he bought you a new copy?


> If anyone has any doubts about how the average person (not HT enthusiasts) handles DVD's, just rent something from Hollywood, Blockbuster, or Netflix. It's rare that I ever find a disc that is not marked up.

So what? Those companies will buy/rent to anyone. My standards for letting people borrow stuff are a little higher. (And all the discs I've gotten from those places were in good shape.)

 

[MarkHastings]

and you also expect your friends to be mature enough to treat your stuff with care and return it promptly.

As many have stated, there aren't many out there that treat your stuff with care.

I've made it a decision to not let anyone borrow a DVD. The reason is because I don't want to have to replace a damaged disc.

What I think is confusing is the statements about only lending to certain people. If you're really not that concerned about the DVD, then why not let anyone borrow it? Why just a certain select? Why wouldn't you let someone (who isn't trust worthy) borrow it? If he/she damages it, you can just have them replace it, What's the difference if their trusting or not?

 

[Eggert]

If you're really not that concerned about the DVD

As I said before in my previous post -

(Specifically: "No, its not that I don't mind. But rather that the person is someone I trust and as such I deem the likelihood of the DVD getting damaged to be very low (of course keeping in mind that accidents can happen to anyone)").

- it's not that I don't care about the DVDs (if I didn't then why would I be collecting them?).

Its just that I do not think the likelihood of them being damaged by people I trust is very high. Hence not lending to people I do not trust: I don't know how they will treat the DVDs, and I can't be sure they will replace a DVD if necessary.


Best regards,
Eggert

 

[Justin Bauer]

Not all of us are filthy rich. Being a college student, I had to quit my job to take on an un-paid internship and overload on classes so I can graduate by this Dec. I used to be able to afford any DVDs I wanted, especially since I worked at Best Buy. Now, I am living of my savings and have to eat Ramen noodles during a week of more than one DVD release. I am just glad I paid off all my HT equipment before I quit my job.

But, I am not able to just trust people to borrow things. Shite happens and we all it does. Even the most trusted person can have something bad happen. I will not put myself in the position to lend out something that I cannot replace.

 

[Tony Whalen]

Goodness... it's amazing how heated this topic can get.

My personal experience... I lend DVD's to ONE person. My best pal. I know he treats them well, and he lives exactly nine houses away, so I can go get my disk if the need arises. But he always returns them within a reasonable amount of time.

I would lend out my DVD's more, but I lent out two of them to a family member, one of which is OOP.

Not only did it take MONTHS for them to come back, but when I did get them, it looked like they had gone swimming. The cases were sticky, the covers looked like they'd been laundered, and the discs were dirty. I was furious.

So. I don't lend, with the one exception.

Point blank. It's about respecting other people's property. Period. People who don't respect my property piss me off.

 

[Lance Nichols]

I have a little policy about lending discs.

I accept a small deposit ($3-5), for normal DVDs. OOP don't leave my possession, unless it is VERY special cases. Then I get the original purchase price as deposit. Deposits are returned when I get the movie back.

Finally, any damaged disc is replaced @ the price I paid for it, not current retail. OOP/special edition discs get replaced AT THE COST of replacement. That is, if I have to buy a new Akira Tin off EBAY for $300US (OK extreme, but you get the idea) that is what they owe me.

 

[Ted Todorov]

Yeah, I should be in the no way corner, but I'm just the generous type, what can I say... And besides, it makes me feel good that my DVDs are getting put to good use. The friend to whom I lend most often lost a bag with 11 of my DVDs on the subway. He did replace them of course, but since then I refuse to lend OOP DVDs.

One other lendee didn't return a DVD (Magnolia) -- obviously I'll have to re-buy it and would never lend to this person again. But I'm not about to kill a friendship over it.

I haven't gotten anything back scratched up (that I know of), and indeed the people I lend to take proper care of their CDs.

There is NO WAY I would lend to anyone who has children -- that is just an invitation to misery. And I don't lend CDs.

Bottom line: you HAVE to keep track of your lending in a database, and you have to be prepared for the eventuality of never seeing the stuff again.

Yes, it is frustrating when people say: "Ted, why haven't you gotten ...... so I can borrow it?" Some of my friends are broke, but others need to be smacked.

Ted

 

[Chris Lockwood]

> If you're really not that concerned about the DVD, then why not let anyone borrow it? Why just a certain select?
Why wouldn't you let someone (who isn't trust worthy) borrow it?

For the same reason I don't pick up hitchhikers, wouldn't hire a convicted sex offender as a babysitter, always lock my car, etc.

I am concerned about the DVD, which is why only trusted people get to borrow.

 

[David Glenn]

Eggert,

I'm in the same camp as you.

Although I love my HT and dvd collection, I also love lending and exposing my friends to films they otherwise would have never seen. I even lend to my neighbors. why? Because my personal relationships are important to me and lending my stuff is ONE of the ways I show how much I appreciate that relationship. (PLEASE NOTE: I'm NOT saying those that do not lend don't value their personal relationships).

If I have neighbors that are willing to help me re-sod my entire backyard or lend me their power washer or some other tool, you damn well better beleive I will lend them my dvds.

Ocassionally I'll get a dvd back with a small scratch or finger print. I simply remind that person to take better care of my dvds when borrowing them. If it continues after a few warnings, I tell them they can't borrow anymore but they can watch it in my HT. If they are returned unplayable, I'll let them know and see if they offer to replace it.

I usually put my dvds in a zip lock bag before lending them out. DVDs with packaging that can be easily damaged get removed and placed in a blank dvd or CD jewel case. OOPs are only lent out to people who consistently have shown they cared for my dvds, otherwise it can be viewed in my HT.

Same goes for all my CDs and video games.

 

[Dave_P.]

I don't let anyone borrow my discs anymore. I did it a few times for a couple of people at work a few years ago, and most of the time I wouldn't see the discs for a month or more. It was always "Oh, we didn't watch it yet" or "Ooops, I forgot the disc again!" And the funny thing is, I felt like the a-hole for asking for the discs back. They probably lent the discs out to their friends, etc. I'd eventually get them back, but they could see I was getting pissed so eventually they stopped asking so it worked out. It's especially bad when you have a fairly large collection and next thing you know you become like a private Blockbuster.