Going thru life being unnoticed (1 Viewer)

[Brad Porter]

Robert - Does your girlfriend have an opinion on your situation? She seems to be the person most able to help you find new friends since you say she is so good at it. Have you talked to her about this?

And what happened to the friends that you knew growing up or in college? Did you stay in touch?

Brad

 

[Holadem]

Not sure why. It's perfectly possible to have a partner and still suck, which Robert very evidently does

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H

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Well, most of the time when someone writes that they are an introvert who is looking to be noticed by the opposite sex, they aren't already being noticed by the opposite sex.

And no, not everyone wants to be found attractive. I've met some women who go out of their way to look unattractive. But usually this is due to some emotional or psychological condition. There are also those people who say they wish to be found attractive, but they also go out of their way to look as unattractive as possible. I haven't quite figured that scenario out yet, but they certainly are conflicted.

But I think in general, a healthy normal person wants to be found attractive.

 

[troy evans]

Based on everything I've read here it seems you do not want to be anything but an introvert. You can't just go to clubs and functions, you also must make an effort to interract with the people there. I get the impression you don't do that. From what I see you probably just stand there while others talk and ,to be frank, no one likes a one sided conversation. You have to decide to make a change and to compare your condition to changing race or height is ridiculous and nothing more than a cop out. See, the question here isn't why people don't notice you, but rather, why should they? What are you going to bring to the table? When someone else puts effort into a relationship with you can you return it? Right now the answer is probably no. I also feel that you should thank your lucky stars you have a girlfriend and not be worried about flirting with other women while with her. How would that make her feel? Do you care how others feel or just yourself? Now, this all may seem very harsh but, the way I see it, you are the only one that can fix this attitude about yourself. No amount of advice will ever be enough if effort will never be applied to said advice.

 

[drobbins]

 

[Robert_Z]

I noticed that people stopped commenting about my situation/condition as soon as they found out I have a girlfriend. Why is that?

My lack of social connections is what caused one of our past breakups. I was depending on her to provide our social life, so this is a serious issue for me, even if I do have a steady supply of snatch.

I was really surprised by the response (or lack thereof). hmmm

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Robert,

There have been 8 responses since your last post. Some of them were quite long and detailed. Some of them had direct questions to you, such as "Does your girlfriend have an opinion on your situation? She seems to be the person most able to help you find new friends since you say she is so good at it. Have you talked to her about this?"

You replied to none of the 8 posts. This is a clue, Robert . . . run with it.

 

[Lew Crippen]

(emphasis mine.)

Instead of waiting for an invitation, throw your own party. Invite 50 other guys and if only 5 show up, you will now have 5 like-minded sports fans who probably also were not invited to any playoff parties.

Go from there.

Not that hard, even for someone who does not make friends easily.

 

[Holadem]

Excellent advice . If you are a member here, then you probably have an HT that will impress the heck out of them. They will wanna come back.

Also, join meetup.com -- run a search for Spurs or sports or whatever it is you're into and go to the next meet up. It's free, it works. Now if once you're with people, if you don't know how to make yourself interesting, then I don't know what to tell ya. No one is ever completely invisible. Even if you're just standing there mute, the more outgoing ones around you will approach you. The rest is up to you.

EDIT: now curiously enough, there doesn't appear to be a Spurs meetup group in San Antonio. There are however these people who have expressed interest in such a group, and are just waiting for you to create one (which will cost you $20): Find a Meetup Group - San Antonio Spurs Meetups - San Antonio

Heck, one of them is even part of a San Antonio Movie group

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H