Future Directors Cuts II

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Steve Christou, Jun 26, 2002.

  1. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    (Another revised blast from the past)
    Here are future directors cuts coming your way soon...
    Spiderman Creepy sequence of Peter Parker crawling down stairs on his back and vomiting over his dinner.
    Attack of the Clones Reinstated sequence showing Yoda attacking Christopher Lee with nunchakus.
    Attack of the Clones A drooling Anakin using the force to remove Amidalas clothing, and Qui-Gon's disembodied voice screaming "No Anakin No!".
    Citizen Kane Charles Foster Kane telling reporters "I've never been as happy as I was riding about on my sled".
    2001 A Space Odyssey 2 minutes of primitive man urinating on the Monolith in Dawn of Man sequence.
    Spartacus The complete "I'm Spartacus" sequence, lasting 39mins.
    Gandhi Legendary Custard pie fight reinstated, 7mins.
    The Towering Inferno 5 mins of Paul Newman pulling on a door handle before Steve McQueen points to a sign saying ‘push’, they both laugh.
    Bullitt 3 minute sequence during the legendary car chase where Steve McQueen and the baddies stop at a garage before continuing the chase.
    Showgirls 33mins of extra lapdancing.
    Starship Troopers the full 27min shower sequence.
    Basic Instinct A scene where Sharon Stone opens a beer bottle with her buttocks.
    Casino 12 more minutes of pointless steadicam shots whirling around fruit machines.
    Lethal Weapon 4 Alternate ending for Asian audiences, Jet Li beats the crap out of Gibson and Glover and walks away in slow motion as the credits roll.
    Armageddon 15 more mins of Steve Buscemi’s space dementia.
    Planet of the Apes Reshot ending, Leo returns to Earth crashes into the ocean, sees New York submerged under water, rescued by Kevin Costner in a neat cameo as the Mariner.
    Hannibal 12 more minutes of Hannibal Lecter preparing dinner.
    Face/Off 8 more mins of Nic Cage pulling faces in a mirror, and 14 more mins of Travolta swaggering coyly with one hand on his hip and the other holding a cig.
    Scarface Tony Montana vibrating with bullets for an extra 6mins during the final death scene.
    Seven Reshot ending inc an extra 4mins of Brad Pitt looking like he’s sucked a lemon and saying nooo nooo before opening the box and finding a pepperoni pizza with anchovies.
    Pearl Harbor 40min sequence showing Ben Affleck wiping out the Japanese carriers at Midway, and a final 20mins sequence showing him piloting the Enola Gay heading for Hiroshima.
    Any more? [​IMG]
     
  2. AllanN

    AllanN Supporting Actor

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    Is it just me or is the thread lock bait?
     
  3. JasenP

    JasenP Screenwriter

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    What about these upcoming stunners:
    They Shoot Horses, Don't They? - 38 minute montage of horses stricken down in the prime of their life. Originally seen in the roadshow version.
    Bambi - 48 frames of nudity reinstated.
    What's Love Got To Do With It? - Alternate version of notorius cake-in-the-face scene. The scene as originally written used calamari, not cake.
    The Scorpion King - Originally, The Rock was not considered for the lead and over 75% of the film was shot with Steve Buscemi in the title role. This original version exists without any completed SFX and contains loud laughing on the soundtrack whenever Buscemi appeared bare-chested on screen.
    Highlander II: The Quickening - While the "Renegade" version was already released on home video, this special "Fans Of The Good Highlander" cut excises all existing scenes and instead uses footage of the Director and Producers apologizing for Highlander II as originally released, it's sequels and the gawdawful television series.
     
  4. MatthewA

    MatthewA Lead Actor

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    Mary Poppins: Restores a five-minute sequence with Mary and her umbrella that Walt Disney was forced to cut by the Production Code.
    Apocalypse Now Re-Redux: Restores the original ending scene in which Kurtz's disciples have to clean up his smelly, rotting corpse.
    Dumbo: A long-lost, 3-minute scene with the janitor cleaning up after the elephants has been put back into the film. Featuring a delightful, previously deleted song: "What's that Smell?"
    Network: Reinstates an alternate Howard Beale tirade in which he says "I want you to go out to your windows and shout 'I'M AS HAPPY AS A LARK, AND I FEEL LIKE BURSTING INTO SONG!'"
    Carousel: Reconstruction of the 148-minute roadshow version which includes Gordon MacRae singing Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On" to Shirley Jones.
    Song of Norway: Reinstates the elaborate production number "Lutefisk, Glorious Lutefisk," seen only in early preview screenings.
    Breakfast at Tiffany's: Reinstates a brief scene in which Audrey Hepburn chows down on a Big Mac outside Bergdorf-Goodman's.
    Interiors: Now includes a delicate post-climactic scene with E.G. Marshall at Hooters.
     
  5. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Jaws 15 more minutes of Quint's WWII anecdotes, plus 8mins of our guys singing 'row row row your boat'.
    Total Recall Original shock ending showing Arnie waking up at Rekall and thanking them for that great adventure and than going home to his loving wife Sharon Stone.
    X-Men 15 more minutes of Prof.Xavier and Magneto playing chess.
    Casablanca Alternate happy ending 1, Rick flies off with Ilsa at the end.
    Casablanca Alternate happy ending 2, Rick pushes away Ilsa and Victor and flies of with Captain Renault, the audience cheers.
    ET The Extraterrestrial Original unseen downbeat ending, ET and all the kids mowed down in a hail of gunfire with slow pullback over the carnage as the credits roll in silence, brief coda of ETs mothership also blown to smithereens by air force not reinstated.
     
  6. JasenP

    JasenP Screenwriter

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    Psycho (1998) Gus Van Sant's original cut includes several musical numbers and voice-over narration throughout. Fans of this remake can look forward to songs like : "Mammy", "Shower-2-Shower" (Written by Prince!), and the touching ballad "Wouldn't Harm A Fly."
    The Boy In The Plastic Bubble Years after it's original broadcast this Travolta classic is now available in it's original cut. New to this version is the infamous "Running With Scissors" scene and the previously unavailable cameo by David Hasselhoff as "Man With Pin"
     
  7. Will K

    Will K Screenwriter

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    The Mothman Prophecies: Director's cut includes extension of scene where Richard Gere has a phone conversation with the entity. Following the chapstick question, previous version did not include the line "Okay, where's the gerbil?"
    The Poseidon Adventure: Original restored version omits the tidal wave sequence and reveals the real reason the ship tipped over. During a dining room scene, Shelley Winters drops a chicken leg but tumbles out of her chair in an ill-fated attempt to retrieve it.
    Octopussy: In the original ending, James Bond discovers that the title character's name is no accident.
    Pretty Woman: The real director's cut features an additional, unrelenting 45 minutes of Julia Roberts laughing, smiling, mugging, and general pandering towards the saccharined-heart moviegoer.
     
  8. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    [​IMG] I want all those special editions, now!!
    Star Wars-A New Hope Only available in bootleg versions- 5mins of Han & Luke arguing about who gets to shag Princess Leia first.
    The Empire Strikes Back After revealing himself as Luke’s father, Darth Vader lectures the boy about the length of his hair.
    Return of the Jedi After being caught short in the woods, Chewbacca wipes his ass on an Ewok.
    Batman & Robin A few cool extra scenes of Mr.Freeze saying ‘cool it’, ‘pretty cool’ and ‘why don’t you cool off a liddle bit’.
     
  9. Brian Lawrence

    Brian Lawrence Producer

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  10. Jeff Kleist

    Jeff Kleist Executive Producer

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    Highlander 2: Renegade DOES have an apology track on it [​IMG]
    And the TV series is the closest to the original in spirit. I found Adrian Paul to be a great successor to Lambert. Certainly better than Highlander 2 or 3
     
  11. JasenP

    JasenP Screenwriter

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  12. Bill Balcziak

    Bill Balcziak Supporting Actor

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  13. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    The Third Man - After Anna blows him off at the end of the movie, Holly Martins flips her the bird and yells "Bitch!". (10 seconds)
    La Belle Noiseuse - Another half hour of Emmanuelle Beart posing nude. [​IMG]
     
  14. Mark Murtha

    Mark Murtha Auditioning

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    The Phantom Menace - Extra 30 minutes of high adrelanine action and Jar Jar reaction shots added to the pod race. What's not to like about a 45 minute pod race? [​IMG]
    Attack of the Clones - Yoda using Ben Gay on his back after the lightsaber duel.
     
  15. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Star Trek The Motion Picture The Insomniac Edition - includes 144min section of the Enterprise slowly exploring V'Ger.
    Star Trek II The Wrath of Kirk Original title changed at Shatners insistence, reinstates Kirk's 10mins Hamlet soliloquy at the climax, rumors of the legendary Herve Villechaize cameo unconfirmed.
    Star Trek III Kirk Searches for Spock Another Shatner title change, includes 20mins more of Kirk beating the crap out of Klingon nutjob Kruge, the full 55min Vulcan ceremony sequence only available in the Insomniac Edition.
    (Star Trek IV-V anyone?)[​IMG]
     
  16. Will K

    Will K Screenwriter

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    Star Trek IV In the original ending, George & Gracie refused to sing without compensation and Kirk had to coax Scottie into whalesong.
    Star Trek V Features additional 7ms of Klingon belching and an extended campfire sequence a la Blazing Saddles. Also restores the legendary Uhura lapdance.
     
  17. Patrick McCart

    Patrick McCart Lead Actor

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    I'd like to know how Orson Welles could do director's cuts now.
     

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