Funny Signs

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by David Von Pein, Apr 17, 2002.

  1. David Von Pein

    David Von Pein Producer

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    FUNNY SIGNS IN ENGLISH FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD............

    Cocktail lounge, Norway:

    LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR

    At a Budapest zoo:

    PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.

    IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,

    GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY

    Doctor office, Rome:

    SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES

    Hotel, Acapulco:

    THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE

    Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:

    COOLS AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF

    Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

    WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST,

    BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR

    PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR

    Dry cleaner's, Bangkok:

    DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS

    Sign in men's rest room in Japan:

    TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

    In a Nairobi restaurant:

    CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER

    On the grounds of a private school:

    NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION

    On an Athi River highway:

    TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE

    On a poster at Kencom:

    ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ?

    IF SO, WE CAN HELP

    In a City restaurant:

    OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS

    One of the Mathare buildings:

    MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE

    A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:

    DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS

    In a Pumwani maternity ward:

    NO CHILDREN ALLOWED

    In a cemetery

    PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES

    Sign in Japanese public bath:

    FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO PULL COCK IN TUB

    Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:

    GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED

    Hotel notice, Tokyo:

    IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS PLEASE.

    IF YOU ARE NOT A PERSON TO DO SUCH A THING IS PLEASE NOT TO HEED NOTIS

    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

    OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR

    In a Tokyo bar:

    SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS

    In a Bangkok temple:

    IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN

    Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:

    PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM

    Hotel brochure, Italy:

    THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE.

    IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE

    Hotel lobby, Bucharest:

    THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAY.

    DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE

    Hotel elevator, Paris:

    PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK

    Hotel, Yugoslavia:

    THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID

    Hotel, Japan:

    YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

    YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY

    Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:

    NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION

    Taken from a menu, Poland:

    SALAD A FIRM'S OWN MAKE;

    LIMPID RED BEET SOUP WITH CHEESY DUMPLINGS IN THE FORM OF A FINGER;

    ROASTED DUCK LET LOOSE;

    BEEF RASHERS BEATEN IN THE COUNTRY PEOPLE'S FASHION

    From the "Soviet Weekly":

    THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS.

    THESE WERE EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS

    In an East African newspaper:

    A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS

    Hotel, Vienna:

    IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL PORTER

    A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

    IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE

    Hotel, Zurich:

    BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE

    An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

    TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS

    A laundry in Rome:

    LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME

    Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

    TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES

    Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

    WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

    In the window on a Swedish furrier:

    FUR COATS MADE FOR LADIES FROM THEIR OWN SKIN

    The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

    GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE

    In a Swiss mountain inn:

    SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM

    Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

    WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS

    On the door of a Moscow hotel room:

    IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE USSR,

    YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT

    Supermarket, Hong Kong:

    FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE

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  2. Artur Meinild

    Artur Meinild Screenwriter

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    [​IMG]
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  3. Brian W. Ralston

    Brian W. Ralston Supporting Actor

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    Brian W. Ralston
    While traveling with the Arizona Pep Band, this sign was seen in the parking lot at an NCAA Basketball tournament site.
    "No in and out privilages, must pay to re-enter."
    You can imagine how a group of college students would.......ummm.......interpret the meaning of that sign. [​IMG]
     
  4. Anthony Moore

    Anthony Moore Supporting Actor

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    [​IMG]
     

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