funny onion article about dvd's (1 Viewer)

[Daniel THB]

can't link here but go to onion dot com -- funny satire about fullscreen dvd's, ha ha.

 

[Jason Borchers]

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[Conrad_SSS]

This is genius!

 

[Marty Christion]

"Tyler's got very specific tastes," Bernie said. "He told us he likes those foreign films. What did he call it? The Criterion Collection. Well, Hannah and I tried to find those, but they didn't have them at Target. We sure didn't want what happened with the wizard movie to happen again."

Bernie spoke in reference to last year, when the Greenbergs came close to finding a gift Rosenstein would like. The misguided couple gave their nephew the theatrical-release version of Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring, instead of the extended version which contains 40 extra minutes of footage—a distinction Rosenstein gently explained to the confused gift-givers.

"If we'd known, we'd have been happy to get him the other version," Hannah said. "Well, this time we were very careful. There were two versions at the store, and we made sure to get the special one. See, Tyler hates it when they cut out part of the movie."

Confusion over the misleading term "full-screen" caused his well-meaning relatives to purchase the inferior version of the DVD.

That is too funny.

 

[Paul_Scott]

"Great," said Rosenstein, concealing his displeasure from his beaming aunt and uncle, Hannah and Bernie Greenberg, as he gazed at the freshly unwrapped DVD in his hand. "Just what I wanted. The Matrix Reloaded."

"With approximately a third of the movie's visual content missing, thanks to 'pan-and-scan,'" he added under his breath.

that stings :b

 

[John Watson]

It's funny, but too true.

Thoughtless giving is endemic, when you are given something that truly suits, and is wanted, condsider yourself a very fortunate person.

When "it's the thought that counts" is uttered, and there has been no thought, we have "a failure to communicate".

 

[Casey Trowbridg]

A great read, and so very true at the same time. Man I love the onion...

 

[Stu Rosen]

I mean, you guys do realize that the kid is being mocked, not the gift-givers, right?

 

[Brandon Conway]

Everyone is getting mocked.

 

[Lev-S]

This is exactly why I specify every single freakin' detail about what I ask for DVD-wise. Hell, last year my brother asked for "The Spy Who Loved Me" and got "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" instead because the Zeller's clerk decided to unleash his/hor film knowledge upon my unsuspecting aunt. Funny stuff though...

 

[Kwang Suh]

It's funny because it's true.

 

[David Lambert]

It's perfect.

I've ALMOST been in the same situation...it's so damn true I can REALLY relate.


The only way *I* got out of it was by insisting that it was my present to open when I felt like it, that I wanted to keep it pristine for now, and Hey, let's let everyone else open some presents for now. Then I later took aside the person who asked me to open the DVD up and explained that I'll have to exchange it, because it's not quite the right thing...that my dad-in-law had screwed up, but I didn't have the heart to hurt his feelings in public over it. She understood, and kept my secret.


As for who's being mocked: this is one of those stories where anyone on any side can claim the other is at fault and is the butt of the joke. Everyone's wrong. Everyone's right. For hard-core DVDers like us, Christmas can be a hard time because it's so hard for others to get us exactly what we want. Passing out wish-lists with exact titles comes in very handy...just don't limit it to DVDs!


Great stuff; thanks for the link!

 

[Brian Thibodeau]

I asked for a new frying pan this year.

 

[Chad A Wright]

Make sure they don't get the full-screen version. It's missing the handle.

Christmas can be rough, luckily I make clear to everyone who could possibly be buying me a dvd the difference between wide and full screen. In fact we are giving my in-laws a DVD player for Christmas. Inside will be a nice little homemade guide on the advantages of widescreen. Christmas is a time to educate.

 

[Ronald Epstein]

Funny shit....and dead-on!

I love The Onion.

 

[Frank@N]

"It's an unwatchable piece of crap," said Rosenstein, tossing the DVD onto a pile of gifts that included a sweatshirt and a digital memo recorder.

Actually, I think this applies to both versions of Reloaded...

 

[Jack Briggs]

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Confusion over the misleading term "full-screen" caused his well-meaning relatives to purchase the inferior version of the DVD.

This is exactly what happened to me the other day when my mother-in-law handed me a full-screen version of Santa Claus 2 as a gift. Even after my wife politely explained to her last year what the difference was... she still picks up the FS versions! I'm sure it's because she somehow thinks "Full" means "better".

 

[John Watson]

You know mockery?

You think you know mockery?

Well, stand back : "It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham"

Fielding Mellish, in BANANAS

 

[Walter Kittel]

Actually, I think this applies to both versions of Reloaded...

- Walter.