Funny and clean graffitti

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Hugh Jackes, May 9, 2002.

  1. Hugh Jackes

    Hugh Jackes Supporting Actor

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    — The best way to a man's heart is to saw through his breastbone. {No baggage there!}

    — No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of her crap.
     
  2. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    a couple of bathroom graffitti that always stuck out in my mind:

    1. above two side-by-side rolls of toilet paper: leaded / unleaded

    2. "no man is an island, but when you pee...urination!"

    don't know why those have always stuck in my head... :b
     
  3. Francois Caron

    Francois Caron Cinematographer

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    Written on the side of our local English language newspaper's office building:

    "Ignorance is Strength! Read The Gazette!"
     
  4. CharlesD

    CharlesD Screenwriter

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    Feudalism:
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
    Pure Socialism:
    You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
    Bureaucratic Socialism:
    Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
    Fascism:
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
    Pure Communism:
    You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need." Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
    Russian Communism:
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
    Perestroika:
    You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.
    Dictatorship:
    You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
    Pure Democracy:
    You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
    Representative Democracy:
    You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
    Bureaucracy:
    You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
    Capitalism:
    You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
    Pure Anarchy:
    You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
    Anarcho-Capitalism:
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
    Surrealism:
    You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
    You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by themajority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
     
  5. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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  6. Hugh Jackes

    Hugh Jackes Supporting Actor

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    Shades of Dilbert, seen in a tech company restroom:

    What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

    Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
     
  7. David Lawson

    David Lawson Screenwriter

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    God is dead. -Nietschze

    Nietschze is dead. -God

    And, my personal favorite, referenced in a similar thread a while back:

    Tom Waits for no man.
     
  8. Dave Poehlman

    Dave Poehlman Producer

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    "Jesus saves.......... stamps"
     
  9. Andrew_Sch

    Andrew_Sch Cinematographer

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    Some quality stuff from the bathroom at school:

    -Don't look here, the joke's in your hand.
     

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