Funniest spam I ever got... (1 Viewer)

[WoodyH]

I thought of this while reading the Funniest Customer Service response thread.
A long time ago I got a spam with this wonderful little tidbit in it -

If you are receiving this e-mail it's because you are an adult internet user.
If you are no longer an adult internet user, hit reply and type remove, we apologize for the inconvenience.

So...my question is, am I no longer an adult (and hence regressing in age), or am I no longer an internet user (and therefore not going to be able to get the e-mail in the first place)?
Spam very rarely actually makes me laugh...but this one was priceless.
(Edited 'cause I'm a momo and closed a

tag with a [/url] tag :b )

 

[Kevin P]

I get tons of spam, especially to my work email address (I'm sure the IS guys just LOVE me!), but I got one this morning that gave me a chuckle. I'll only repeat the subject line here:

Increase Your Bust Up To 3 Cup Sizes! Natural Bust!

Now don't you think my wife would just be thrilled if I increased my bust 3 cup sizes!!?? :rolleyes
KJP

 

[Jesse Skeen]

I once got a long rambling email from someone bemoaning 'spam' emails, including "horrible adult website messages," saying that he had complained to the government and what have you, and then said for a fee, he could get me set up so I won't get any more spam and I'd receive updates on how to stomp out the practice completely. I usually don't reply to this sort of emails, but this was just so stupid I wrote back saying "What the f--- is this, SPAM to get rid of SPAM???"

 

[Rob Lutter]

I always get EMAIL from young ladies telling me to look at their websites that they just made with their women 'friends'.... wowsers!

 

[MickeS]

Buzz I received my first spam for gay porn today (titled "Gay and loving it!"). Maybe it was supposed to go to you?
/Mike

 

[RussR]

My favorites are the ones from the widows of deposed African dictators, asking me to handle the investment of their $100,000,000 into U.S. banks, for which, of course, I will be rewarded with a percentage. I received a few of these over the last few months.

---

I'm not an investment banker, but I play one on TV.

 

[Deane Johnson]

The spam subjects seem to travel in herds. I'll get the same ones from different sources for a while, then something else will take it's place.

Recently:

Just send money to recieve:

A college diploma

Get information on how to copy DVDs

Increase my bust 3 cup sizes

Increase my penis length by two to three inches in three weeks with a simple pill (guaranteed to work).

Win a vacation (I think I already won according to the spam)

Hot investment tips

Get unbelievable rates on term life insurance

Buy Marijuana

Buy Viagra (no questions asked)

Buy smallpox vaccine

Learn how to collect judgements (wouldn't that be fun)

Buy software to find out anything about anyone

Plus links to see:

Teen girls do unimaginable things

Teen boys do everything you can imagine (to each other I think)

Apparently spam is not going to die out soon, so there must be a huge base of morons out there willing to respond to this garbage. And to pay money to send it out. The low end preying on the low end.

Deane

 

[Ryan Wright]

I hate spam. Any server sending spam to mine is reported to their upstream provider and added to a database. Subsequent messages from those servers receive error 500, "Fuck off, spammer!" I also subscribe to MAPS databases which really cuts down on the spam, and created a forwarding email address that is used whenever I order things or otherwise conduct business online.
My favorite spams? The bastards who put at the bottom of the message: "This spam is legal in accordance with some (bullshit) federal and state laws #1234567 #7654321" etc. All I want to know is, if it's so legal, then why are you (a) forging your headers, (b) using disposable accounts or hacked servers, (c) trying to get me to buy into a pyramid scheme/other illegal product?
Bastards. May they all burn in hell.