Funniest Simpsons quotes!

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Paul_D, Dec 18, 2001.

  1. Paul_D

    Paul_D Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2001
    Messages:
    2,048
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    There are so many, but off the top of my head:
    (Bart and Milhouse stumbling around in a drunken stuper, after getting drunk at the beer fare)
    Milhouse: This guy here... this is the guy!
    Bart: 'Look at that big butt Principle Skinner!'
    (kids laugh)
    Skinner: 'You're metabolism will change too someday Simpson.'
    Homer: (in his hippie phase) 'Come on guys, they can't silence our song of protest...... Uptown girl, shes been living in her uptown world.....'
    Dr. Hibbert: 'My prognosis (pauses)... or is it diagnosis?.... Whichever....'
    (Homer trying to turn off his bedside lamp by clapping)
    Marge: 'We dont have a clapper!'
    Homer: I can't hear you Marge... I'm clapping.'
    (Homer causes a meltdown and Mr Burns is questioning him)
    Mr Burns: How did you let this happen?
    Homer: Its my first day!
    Burns: Oh well, since I've never seen you before I can only assume that it is your first day!
    Smithers: err, this is Homer Simpson sir, hes worked here for 10 years.
    Mr Burns: (shocked) Your fired, why did you think you could lie to me?
    Homer: Its my first day!'
    Comic Store Guy: (in a melancholic tone) 'Is there a word in Klingon for loneliness!
    (pulls out a little Klingon dictionary)
    CBSG: 'Yes!...... klaaarndaaaarch!'
    Ralf Wiggum: 'Hello, Super Nintendo Charmers.' [​IMG]
    Bring on Simpsons Season 2 Box Set!
     
  2. Nick Sievers

    Nick Sievers Producer

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2000
    Messages:
    3,481
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
  3. Jason Whyte

    Jason Whyte Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 1999
    Messages:
    1,439
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Indeed....there's no way I can say my favorite quotes, there are too many of them. So let's just pick one at random:
    "It's HELL being Mel!"
     
  4. Dave Gilbert

    Dave Gilbert Second Unit

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2000
    Messages:
    326
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ralph: I bent my Wookie

    (Homer on telephone, pretending to be Mr. Burns)

    Homer: Heellooooo, this is Mr. Burns.

    Voice on other end: First name?

    Homer: I dooon't knooowww.
     
  5. John Besse

    John Besse Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2000
    Messages:
    569
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Trinity, FL
    Real Name:
    John
    Homer: I don't even know why we bother to leave out house. You know we're just going to end up back at home again later.
     
  6. JonahWicky

    JonahWicky Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2001
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    "Trying is the first step on the road to failure."
     
  7. Scott Weinberg

    Scott Weinberg Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Messages:
    7,477
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Homer: "It takes two to lie: One to lie and one to listen."
     
  8. Joe_C

    Joe_C Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2000
    Messages:
    710
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    (after Lisa makes a perpetual motion device)
    Homer: "Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"
     
  9. Scott Weinberg

    Scott Weinberg Lead Actor

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Messages:
    7,477
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Homer (after scraping "God" in pancake form off of the ceiling): "Mmmmm...Sacrilicous...."
     
  10. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2000
    Messages:
    15,820
    Likes Received:
    417
    Trophy Points:
    9,110
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Real Name:
    Steve Christou
    [Whistle sounds; Homer slides down the power plant into his car, drives away, and sings to the tune of "The Flintstones"]

    Homer: Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history! From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree. AAH!

    [runs into a chestnut tree]

    Dr. Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.

    Homer: Say it in English, Doc.

    Dr. Hibbert: You're going to need open-heart surgery.

    Homer: Spare me your medical mumbo-jumbo.

    Dr. Hibbert: We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.

    Homer: Could you dumb it down a shade?

    Insurance Agent: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?

    Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. Gasp! But what else is open at night?

    Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

    Homer's Brain: Heh heh heh. I woulda never thought of that.

    Homer: Look Marge, you don't know what it's like, I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!
     
  11. Butch C

    Butch C Second Unit

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2001
    Messages:
    281
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ralph Wiggam recieving an F

    "Me fail english? Thats UN-POSSIBLE!"
     
  12. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,358
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ralph Wiggem:

    1. "The pointed kitty took the key!" (regarding a mouse)

    2. "It says, 'I Cho Cho Choose you' and it's got a picture of a train."

    3. "That's the leprechaun that tells me to set things of fire!'

    4. "He smells like hot dogs."

    5. "Let's play wiggle pup."

    6. "Miss Hoover, I ate my worm, can I have another?" [Miss Hoover]"No Ralph, put your head down and go to sleep." [Ralph] "That's where I'm a Viking!"

    7. [To Miss Hoover]"Mommy?"
     
  13. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2001
    Messages:
    1,358
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    One more for Ralph:

    "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

    Exactly.
     
  14. Darren Davis

    Darren Davis Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2001
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Ralph: That's my sandbox; I can't go in the deep end.
     
  15. Stephen Teffner

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 1999
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    This was on last night episode:

    Marge: "When did we become the bottom rung of society"

    Homer: "I think it happened when the cold snap came and killed off all the hobo's"
     
  16. Joe_C

    Joe_C Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2000
    Messages:
    710
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    (Praying heavenward)
    Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
    -------
    Homer: God bless those pagans.
    -------
    Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
     

Share This Page