Friends with your ex...?

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Jefferson, Jun 20, 2002.

  1. Jefferson

    Jefferson Supporting Actor

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    A Seinfeldian (Seinfeldian? yeah, OK) situation has reared its head in my life, which is that, like Jerry and Elaine....my ex and I are still friends. Pretty close friends. But it is really hard sometimes. Lots of time has passed, but I think one person(namely me) always still carries a torch, and sometimes the sex thing happens again at some point. Has anybody else been through this/frustrated by this? Any tips on how to make it work? Or can this only work on a sitcom?
     
  2. Garrett Lundy

    Garrett Lundy Producer

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    It doesn't work. If you keep carrying the torch, you will get burned.
    Eventually it will work itself out when the both of you realise that only bad ju-ju will happen if you keep hanging around each other and finally find new people to befriend.
    But if you can find a way to make it work. Feel free to tell me.[​IMG]
     
  3. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    My second ex (marriage-wise) is trying to make yet another comeback in my life. But I tend to eschew psychotics from my circles. I don't want ever to see or hear from her again.

    And my most recent relationship seems to be on the ice permanently. Funny, but I haven't lost sleep over it. I've been concentrating on picking up the Acoustic Research HC6 speaker system suite for the bedroom setup. A relationship should enhance one's life, not drag it down.
     
  4. Jefferson

    Jefferson Supporting Actor

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    The breakup was not ugly, nobody was a psycho...there isn't anyone to really be "mad" at, which I think would have helped tremendously. There is still so much admiration on both sides, that.....it is just not as easy to move on.

    We were friends before the relationship and are wanting to be friends "after"..now I'm wondering if anyone has found this to be a possibility...hmmmm.
     
  5. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    Friends with an ex? [​IMG]
    I don't even bother trying. It's an exercise in frustration.
     
  6. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

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    I was engaged 3 years ago (ya I know, I was young/crazy etc etc) and when we broke up after 2 years we never really kept in touch for about a year after. She had a kid 6 months after we broke up and now we are really good friends, and I love her baby who's almost 2 now. She's the ONLY ex I am actually friends with after breaking up, most of the time the friendship after a breakup is only for some sex, I'll admit that, but hey.
     
  7. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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  8. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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  9. Clinton McClure

    Clinton McClure Casual Enthusiast
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    I am still good friends with my last ex. Up until about 6 months ago (when I began dating my current girlfriend) we hung out constantly. We were always at each others house (no sex...that was the rule) or we would go out to a movie or dinner or something. We still see each other from time to time, but not as often as we did.
     
  10. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Studio Mogul

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    Isn't this like being "a little bit pregnant"?
     
  11. Jefferson

    Jefferson Supporting Actor

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    [​IMG]
     
  12. DennisHP

    DennisHP Second Unit

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  13. Jefferson

    Jefferson Supporting Actor

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    No, not a couple...think more Jerry and Elaine (or, I should say Jerry and Jefferson)....but I realize the difference is, I keep relighting the torch.
    Must stop doing that. (Douse, douse, steam rises from torch).
    Hmm, sometimes I'm too close to the obvious to see it.
     
  14. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    Now, Jefferson, I thought you told me that you had resolved to get over this guy...
    You are only making it harder on yourself if you keep seeing him, even if it is only in the context of friendship. Thing is, while nothing might be going on in actual fact, it's probably still going on in your heart and mind.
    I personally don't think you can really get over someone you still have feelings for unless you separate yourself from that person. Maybe that sounds harsh, but I think it's true.
    [​IMG]
     
  15. AllanN

    AllanN Supporting Actor

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    Im friends with about 1/2 of my High School girlfriends. (im 23 by the way) But those where not close committed relationships. After the one long relationship I had (2 1/2 years) we both wanted to be friends. I was having a little trouble with it because she got engaged a month after we broke up and got married within 6 months. But I eventually got over that. After the shock I realized that things where not going anywhere with us and was happy that she was happy. I really missed her as a friend and wanted to try and be friends again. But her new husband is jealous and thinks im going to try and win her back (which is the the farthest thing from the truth). He did not want her to talk to me and of course she folded because that is how she is. So to sum it up FUCK HER. I have not talked to her since. I still miss her as a friend but its just not worth it.

    If nobody is carrying a torch and neither of you resent the other than there is no reason that two people cannot be friends after a relationship.
     
  16. Jefferson

    Jefferson Supporting Actor

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    I guess I have the resolve, but
    not the follow through. Well, we are in separate states now, and seeing other people, so there is a start.
    But you are right, Rain, I have kept burning that old torch. "in my mind", as you say.
    Yipes. I'm learning too much here......[​IMG]
     
  17. Jeff Pryor

    Jeff Pryor Supporting Actor

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    Hell, I don't think my ex and I were friends the day we got married. And since it's been over 9 years since I've seen her, I don't think we're friends now, either, which is just the way it should be. [​IMG]
     
  18. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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  19. Denward

    Denward Supporting Actor

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    Allan, I feel a very presumptious to be saying this since I don't even know you, but I think you're being too harsh here. Look at it from her point of view: she committed to marrying this guy. Her friendship with you, no matter how innocuous it may seem to you, was causing stress in her marriage. Her husband may be a &*$# but you should wish her happiness with the man she's chosen to marry. If you try to be friends behind his back, that's a losing situation, especially for her. Give it time and maybe the husband will get a little more secure and allow you to be part of her/their life.
     
  20. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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