Figure this scenario out for me......Cause I cant

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Van Patton, Dec 1, 2003.

  1. Van Patton

    Van Patton Second Unit

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    OK so here's the story. This fall me and 2 of my good friends moved into the dorm with each other. There's 2 rooms to a suite and they're in one room while me and a random roomate are in the other. We've always been really good friends up until about a month after school started in Aug. Since then I've been trying to figure out why they're acting different and not being very friendly. I have been the same person throughtout this whole thing which is a really nice guy who (IMO) tries to be friendly and nice to everybody I meet. Well today I had a friend instant message one of them and he says that I have made his life miserable and I am annoying and a person who wouldn't care if I blew this guy's car up but I care if somebody gets my truck dirty. This is coming WAY out of left field to me. I haven't lived in the dorm in about a month because living in that scenario was a hostile negative situation which turned me into a negative person with former friends who just do a 180. Anyways, here's my take since they lived together SO much I'm assuming they take one bad thing I've done or said and just talk trash about it SO much that they make it into a bigger deal than what it should be. I'd like to see if somebody can do some psycho analysis on this because its too dramatic for me. I don't know why people have to be so dramatic. THANKS!!
     
  2. Van Patton

    Van Patton Second Unit

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    Apparently no one else can either....if I had to take a guess I would say he is really stressed out over college life and is subconsciencely trying to find someone to blame.
     
  3. ThomasC

    ThomasC Lead Actor

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    Find a time to sit down and talk face to face with the friend(s) in question to try to see how it all started. Try to keep the situation as calm as possible.
     
  4. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    A good friend doesn't necessarily make a good roommate. It's a hell of a challenge to share a living space with another person, and things can get ugly over the smallest things...

    "She's a demon! I knew it!" (from Buffy season 4, when she goes to college and gets a roomie)
     
  5. JamieD

    JamieD Supporting Actor

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    Time to either have a chat with them, or cut losses and cut them off. Those are the two best options rather than trying to figure it out. Maybe you have been doing things that piss them off.
     
  6. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    i take it since you've just moved into the dorms that you guys are kinda young? no offense...all i mean is that things always seem worse (or harder to figure out) when you're a youngin'. believe me, if i knew back then what i know now....

    anyway, i think you really only have a couple of options.

    have the chat
    i would say this is your best bet. if they're really your friends, things will work itself out. just ask them wtf is going on? face-to-face may seem awkward, but if the current situation bothers you enough...then it's worth the effort.

    blow them off
    obviously, this is a less desirable route. certainly try to have the talk first. [​IMG]

    if, after having the talk, things do not improve, them tell them to go fly a kite. there is no reason you need to alter your life just because your friendship dynamic changes.

    simply put: fuggum and move on.

    i know i'm making it sound like it's no big deal when it really is. i mean, these guys have been your close friends for a while -- so it seems weird (and possibly tough) to just let go.

    but, i gotta tell you, it's the best thing to do.
     
  7. Greg_R

    Greg_R Screenwriter

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    People change when they go to college. It is not unusual for close high school friends to become distant during the first year or two. Since you have to live with them for the rest of the year, sit down and talk it out. If the problem persists, get new friends / roommates next year.
     
  8. Shane Martin

    Shane Martin Producer

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  9. BertFalasco

    BertFalasco Supporting Actor

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    Who is to say you have to initiate. No friend is a good friend if they care so little that they aren't even concerned with you enough to initiate some form of communication. You are the recipient, that is why you should not initiate, IMO.
     
  10. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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  11. Casey Trowbridg

    Casey Trowbridg Lead Actor

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    Agreed with the comments that a good friend doesn't always make a good roommate I have first hand experience.

    Greg_R also made a correct point. College changes people, and the first month or so is the most stressful month of college for most people, at least that I've observed.
    Plus, reality is that when you hit college it is harder to keep close friendships with those you knew before college. They say that the friends you make in college are the ones you'll keep for life, and its one that I'd have to agree with.

    As for your situation, you can either do nothing and let it go where its going to go, or if it bothers you enough confront them and ask them what is going on. We are all people, and sometimes we can be oblivious to how we are acting or what we are doing to a person, if they really are your friends and you do bring it up they should be straight with you and truthful, and you can take it from there. If they deny that anything is going on or lie about it than they're probably not the type of people worth keeping as friends.

    All this is JMO however.
     
  12. Van Patton

    Van Patton Second Unit

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    Well I talked to him and (this is the dumbest thing ever) he said the reason him and the other guy have been acting like dicks is because I bitched too much. Point taken. Well I stopped doing that about 2 months ago and they still were dicks so you know. I talked and it appears everything has cooled off. It just sounds like to me a bunch of old women with nothign better to do than gossip and talk trash. Anyways, I hate pointless drama, it's off to go get a beer =)
     
  13. Cees Alons

    Cees Alons Moderator
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    Well, nice to hear there's at least some light.

    But, ehmm.... it occurred to me that you became impatient with us within one hour and a half. You assumed that we would hasten to give you an answer and when nobody did (yet), you also assumed that we were puzzled. Apparently we'd all read your post immediately and couldn't find an answer how hard we were all thinking for you during that hour and a half. Your expectations of us were high, that's for sure.
    [​IMG]

    OK, sarcasm mode off, but do you see a point here?


    Cees
     
  14. Dave Poehlman

    Dave Poehlman Producer

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  15. Scott Van Dyke

    Scott Van Dyke Supporting Actor

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  16. Chet_F

    Chet_F Supporting Actor

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    "bunch of old women with nothign better to do than gossip and talk trash"

    Spent 2 years in Chattanoga TN and thankfully never had to stay in the dorms. I moved the second I graduated. Good luck and too each their own but I did not care for the "southern hospitality". They still have a grudge against "yanks" from the civil war!!! [​IMG] Let it go people. I was not alone with this impression either.
     

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