Fearless Fosdick Predicitons on Home Theater!
Friends,
Worried about your next upgrade?
Concerned that your system will be out of date
Scared that you’ll adopt a dead-end technology?
Well fear no more!
Gather round boys and girls and hear Fearless Fosdick’s predictions on the future of home theater.
2003
The perfect DVD player comes out. It’s a 5 Disk changer, It plays SACD, DVD-Audio, MP3 and everything else. It has no chroma bug and excellent build quality all for under $500. It satisfies everyone except for those who buy $2000 DVD players. Your brother in law checks out your system one day and says “Lexicon? Are they as good as Bose?” You go to bed that night sobbing.
2004
The industry finally stops adding channels to home theater systems. Everyone finally agrees that 7.1 is the most anyone really needs. A few hold outs claim that even with perfect sub placement they can sense the position of the sub-woofer in the mix at some emotional leveland that this is unacceptable. They advocate a 7.7 channel system where every speaker gets it’s own sub. The system should preferably be 7 Rocket 750s each paired with a matching 8 foot high SVS sub. These zelots are lured to Thule Greenland under the pretense of the world’s ultimate retail vs. direct mail speaker shootout. They aren’t allowed back into the country. Your Brother in law buys a Bose Acustiblast 1000 against your advice, you have to help him set it up *sigh*
2005
Direct view and RPTV go the way of the dinosaur. FPTV and plasma TV becomes the main stream. They drop to the $1500 price point, with 16:9 and full HDTV capability. They are bright, contrasty and have excellent black levels. You can finally have the perfect 120” screen for a reasonable price. Early adopters of this technology who paid $8,000 for a 42” plasma in 2002 get withering stares from wives and girlfriends everywhere. They go to their fathers and ask for advice. Dad says “Son, your mom has been mad at me since I bought a Quadraphonic Stereo, I almost got back in her good graces but then I bought a Betamax, there is no salvation for you” To add insult to injury your brother-in-law buys a no-name 100” plasma at Costco for $500 and asks you to help hook it up to his Bose Acustiblast 1000 system. You hook it up with composite video and tell him that wide screen is for chumps, that will fix that Son of a…..
2006 You finally have your dream system. Years of work and expense have finally paid off. You have the perfect separates, and a dedicated home theater room that would make George Lucas proud. You can finally watch Lawrence of Arabia the way it was meant to be watched. When you friends come over to watch Saving Private Ryan they dive to the floor screaming and check for bullet wounds. You don’t even have a screen. You can get 1.3 gain specialty indoor house paint for $20 / gallon. Your wall is as good as any screen and twice as large.
One day you are reveling in transcendental bliss, watching The Matrix 6 “Trinity’s revenge”, when you get a phone call. It’s your brother-in-law. He says he bought the new Bose Acustiblast 1 Million. He says it costs as much as a BMW but can reproduce the sound of a full symphony orchestra with two speakers the size of sugar cubes. He tells you to “get out of the stone age and get on board” and asks you to help him set it up. You scream through the phone “Your madness ends here!”. You grab a length of 12 gauge speaker wire, and race to his house to do him in.
Epilogue
You are sitting in a padded cell. Your brother-in-law still lives due to the unfortunate intervention of a police tactical team. You tried to get away but were caught. You realize you should have watched car chases from French Connection more and Blues Brothers less. Toys-R-us walls prove to be more solid in real life…..
Your brethren at Hometheaterforum.com rush to your defense claiming that you were provoked and couldn’t help yourself. A movement to win your release starts strong but loses momentum. It seems that some of the audiophiles believe that you shouldn’t try strangling anyone without using silver specialty cable that costs at least $50/foot. A huge flame war starts in the forum and any hopes for your release are dashed. You spend your days calculating the acoustic properties of the padding of your cell.
The End
Patrick
Friends,
Worried about your next upgrade?
Concerned that your system will be out of date
Scared that you’ll adopt a dead-end technology?
Well fear no more!
Gather round boys and girls and hear Fearless Fosdick’s predictions on the future of home theater.
2003
The perfect DVD player comes out. It’s a 5 Disk changer, It plays SACD, DVD-Audio, MP3 and everything else. It has no chroma bug and excellent build quality all for under $500. It satisfies everyone except for those who buy $2000 DVD players. Your brother in law checks out your system one day and says “Lexicon? Are they as good as Bose?” You go to bed that night sobbing.
2004
The industry finally stops adding channels to home theater systems. Everyone finally agrees that 7.1 is the most anyone really needs. A few hold outs claim that even with perfect sub placement they can sense the position of the sub-woofer in the mix at some emotional leveland that this is unacceptable. They advocate a 7.7 channel system where every speaker gets it’s own sub. The system should preferably be 7 Rocket 750s each paired with a matching 8 foot high SVS sub. These zelots are lured to Thule Greenland under the pretense of the world’s ultimate retail vs. direct mail speaker shootout. They aren’t allowed back into the country. Your Brother in law buys a Bose Acustiblast 1000 against your advice, you have to help him set it up *sigh*
2005
Direct view and RPTV go the way of the dinosaur. FPTV and plasma TV becomes the main stream. They drop to the $1500 price point, with 16:9 and full HDTV capability. They are bright, contrasty and have excellent black levels. You can finally have the perfect 120” screen for a reasonable price. Early adopters of this technology who paid $8,000 for a 42” plasma in 2002 get withering stares from wives and girlfriends everywhere. They go to their fathers and ask for advice. Dad says “Son, your mom has been mad at me since I bought a Quadraphonic Stereo, I almost got back in her good graces but then I bought a Betamax, there is no salvation for you” To add insult to injury your brother-in-law buys a no-name 100” plasma at Costco for $500 and asks you to help hook it up to his Bose Acustiblast 1000 system. You hook it up with composite video and tell him that wide screen is for chumps, that will fix that Son of a…..
2006 You finally have your dream system. Years of work and expense have finally paid off. You have the perfect separates, and a dedicated home theater room that would make George Lucas proud. You can finally watch Lawrence of Arabia the way it was meant to be watched. When you friends come over to watch Saving Private Ryan they dive to the floor screaming and check for bullet wounds. You don’t even have a screen. You can get 1.3 gain specialty indoor house paint for $20 / gallon. Your wall is as good as any screen and twice as large.
One day you are reveling in transcendental bliss, watching The Matrix 6 “Trinity’s revenge”, when you get a phone call. It’s your brother-in-law. He says he bought the new Bose Acustiblast 1 Million. He says it costs as much as a BMW but can reproduce the sound of a full symphony orchestra with two speakers the size of sugar cubes. He tells you to “get out of the stone age and get on board” and asks you to help him set it up. You scream through the phone “Your madness ends here!”. You grab a length of 12 gauge speaker wire, and race to his house to do him in.
Epilogue
You are sitting in a padded cell. Your brother-in-law still lives due to the unfortunate intervention of a police tactical team. You tried to get away but were caught. You realize you should have watched car chases from French Connection more and Blues Brothers less. Toys-R-us walls prove to be more solid in real life…..
Your brethren at Hometheaterforum.com rush to your defense claiming that you were provoked and couldn’t help yourself. A movement to win your release starts strong but loses momentum. It seems that some of the audiophiles believe that you shouldn’t try strangling anyone without using silver specialty cable that costs at least $50/foot. A huge flame war starts in the forum and any hopes for your release are dashed. You spend your days calculating the acoustic properties of the padding of your cell.
The End
Patrick
