Ever played SANTA for kids? (1 Viewer)

[Henry Gale]

After over half a century of childless bliss, the new girlfriend has 6 & 8 year old daughters. So, I must really be in love.
In a few days there will be some sort of 4-H event where Santa hands out gifts. Why isn't an actual breeding father doing this? Idunno....maybe 'cause my sweetie owns the Santa outfit.
Any advice? How to handle children pulling Santa's beard? Kicking Santa's *#%@+ or shins? Asking Santa for a baby brother?
Arm me with your experiences and best advice, please!
Jim

 

[Bhagi Katbamna]

Asking Santa for a baby brother?

"Ask mommy when she wants Santa to come over."

 

[Henry Gale]

Did I ask about children's fantasys? Sorry..

I meant to say,"The BCS needs to be abolished."

What was I thinking?

 

[Bill Balcziak]

I played Rudolph once for a company party for the children of employees. I wore the costume and giant Rudolph head home and danced around in front of the cats. They literally sh*t themselves from fright. Good lord, what a mess that was!

Anyhow, I have a friend who played an elf at that same party. He wore the complete getup--hat, tights, skirt, and curly-toed shoes. His boss--who was fired shortly afterward--became infamous because a collection of photos of this guy in the elf costume was found in his desk after he was axed.

Which reminds me of the time I inherited a desk full of somebody else's fingernail clippings. Now THAT was replusive...

 

[Brad_W]

Kicking Santa's *#%@+

Santa's... chin?

I think you should either play a creepy CHIMO santa or "Santa dressed as Dom Delouise (sp?)" That would be funny!

but seriously, wear a cup, just in case.

 

[MikeM]

Funny you should ask that. Yes, I played Santa one year and it was a riot, strictly by accident actually.

Everything was going smoothly, I had the full santa suit, huge pillow around my waist, red suit, belt, boots the works.

I sat in a big chair, did the Santa routine, and everything was going smoothly. When Santa "had to leave", I got up from the chair, waived bye to the kiddies and turned around to head out of the door...

...that's when due to the size of the suit, the funky pillow, that wierd belt, and my haste to get up, I had no idea my big Santa pants fell off!!!!

The classic thing of all is that it was all caught on video...ouch.

Say no to crack, ladies and gentlemen, and be sure to get a GOOD Santa belt!

 

[Gilbert Galindo]

Remember that little kid to Baccala. Fuck you Santa.