Ever been friends with someone, then they treated you badly later on?

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by StephenA, Aug 25, 2002.

  1. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    This girl I used to be friends with when we were little ended up snubbing me later on in school. I didn't become popular, and she became beautiful and popular, so she ended up not associating with me because I'm kind of shy and an ugly duckling. She's also highly intelligent, and graduated from harvard. I'm very intelligent too, but never applied myself in school. She probably looked down on me for that too, thinking I don't know much or something.
     
  2. Chad R

    Chad R Cinematographer

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    My best friend and best man at my wedding later made a play for my wife, does that count? After she as politely as she could turned him down he told her that if anything happens to me to call him and whether he's married with kids or not he'll drop it all and come running for her.

    I still get the feeling of a sniper's scope scanning the back of my head.

    As far as your story goes, it's actually very common for that to happen. Basically, think of it as you wouldn't want her as a friend anymore if she's going to act that way.
     
  3. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    I'll second what Chad said. It seems rare for a beautiful woman, who is popular, to keep her unpopular friends for very long. I suppose the same can be said of men who become incredibly rich.
    Many Hollywood movies have been made on this subject alone! [​IMG]
    I've been in a similar situation myself. However, she did suffer from an undiagnosed mental illness at the time, so all is forgiven!
     
  4. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    Stephen, I feel for ya.

    Having never really been very close with my family, I take friendship very seriously. Basically my friends are my family. I'm very loyal and devoted to them and expect the same in return.

    Unfortunately, there will always be some who, for whatever reason, end up acting like asses. I've had "friends" end up treating me poorly, attempting to humiliate me in front of others, speaking ill of me behind my back or just stop speaking to me over some trivial little thing.

    But the cloud has a silver lining too. Whenever something like this happens to me, it only makes me appreciate my true friends all the more.
     
  5. Charles J P

    Charles J P Cinematographer

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    I had a very close high-school friend that I havent spoken to in probably 2 years because during college, he came out to visit me and ended up hooking up with one of my girlfriends friends. We both warned the girl that he wouldnt make a very good boy-friend, actually, they were both sluts, so to speak. Of course he spent the next four years coming out every weekend to screw her and they probably broke up 30-40 times (no exaggeration). The whole relationship was very destructive. Any way, during those four years, he would call me about every three weeks (usually a week after they broke up) on a Tuesday or Wednesday, and tell me that he wanted to come out and see me and that he knew he had been spending all the time when he was in town with her. Well, by friday, they would have inevitably gotten back together, and he would spend the whole weekend at her place "making up" and all I would know is that I didnt hear from him or know where he was except if my girlfriend would mention that he was staying with the girl. And then, the straw that broke the camels back is he knocked her up and they had an abortion, which I strongly disagree with on multiple levels. Then, this spring, since they had managed to go a few months without hooking up (after their final breakup) I decided I would give him another chance. I called and we arranged to meat at a bar, and he called the night of to cancel. He wanted to reschedule for later in the week but I didnt know if I had a work commitment, so I told him I would call and let him know. I called and left a message when I found out I could go, but I havent heard from him since then (april). Im just pretty frustrated after 4 years of being treated like a rainy day friend or worse.
     
  6. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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  7. Dave Poehlman

    Dave Poehlman Producer

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  8. Eve T

    Eve T Supporting Actor

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    Ya that happened to me before. It was a guy though that did the snubbing. He was cool and good looking, I had bad hair. After we graduated and I learned how to use a curling iron he came around and he was fun to tease.. still is as I see him from time to time out and about. [​IMG]
     
  9. Tony_Faville

    Tony_Faville Supporting Actor

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    Had a good friend, supported him through his divorce, even so far as to kick his door down the day he called me and told me he had taken a bunch of pills.

    He repayed me by later on going to my wife during my divorce and telling her a bunch of lies about me. Saying I was cheating on her, which I NEVER did.

    The primal side of me still promises to knock him flat if I ever see him again.
     
  10. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    Hehe Ryan, I had the opposite experience.
    I had a friend who made it big in the stock market. Like, $14 million US big! For a year or so we (and a bunch of other buddies) would get together and play LAN games, talk about cool toys that we can build (electrical engineers galore!), try out many brands of whiskey, and generally had a fun time...well, fun for a bunch of geeks, anyways! [​IMG]
    But, when he visited Morocco, he got hitched with a beautiful Moroccon "noble-woman" (for lack of a better term), and subsequently built a house there and married her. Never heard from him again after a couple of visits. [​IMG]
    Jealousy was not an issue. I made a decent killing in the stock market at the time (well, enough to buy a nice car outright and got me hooked into home theater). Oh and books...(Neo voice: ) "Lots of books."
    His wife and her Moroccon government friends are probably keeping him busy, or something. But you'd think, with $14 million, he'd send an email to me or his friends once in a while?
     
  11. Yee-Ming

    Yee-Ming Producer

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    not sure if my experience is worse than those already stated.

    I had a good buddy during college, we hung out a lot, served on the same student committees, went back-packing through Europe together after graduation in 92, when my father died in 94 he was at the funeral (the only friend, if memory serves, but you don't really expect friends to take leave off work to attend a funeral on a work-day, and I think he was between jobs at the time anyway and free), then I was best man at his wedding in 96, which I suppose should really say it all.

    by last year, he was the de facto number two in his law firm. my girlfriend (now fiancee, and wife-to-be in three weeks) was an associate there, not because of any connectionswith me, but because she had the relevant experience they needed.

    to my horror, she was laid off by them at the end of last year, even though she was possibly the associate with the "best", "most relevant" experience they needed and she wasn't the most expensive associate either. it was, no doubt, partly political, in that another partner (junior to my friend, it should be noted) absolutely hated her, but my so-called friend obviously didn't stick up for her.

    what pisses me off some more is the day it happened, in the evening he had the gall to call me to purportedly "explain" and he kept saying "it was very unfortunate" etc etc. too damn right it was f**king unfortunate.

    what really steams me up now is that after that, rather than leaving the official reason for the lay-offs as a head-count cutting exercise -- which is what he told me head office had directed -- or even a cost-cutting measure, he was bad-mouthing her to other associates who were still in the firm. as is typical, junior employees "stick together", and she's still friendly with these associates, who told her what trash he'd been dishing up about her.

    I think I could've taken the lay-off, provided it really was a cost-cutting exercise. I do not hold the view that just because she was my girlfriend, he should've made her "immune" to layoffs, that's asking for personal favours in the work place.

    what I cannot stand is the subsequent bitching, and the obvious two-facedness about the whole thing, where he purported to tell me (and her) one thing, and proceeded to tell the rest of the world something else.

    he had the gall to tell her, right after the senior partner had fired her, that he "still considered her a friend".

    yeah, right. and I've got a bridge to sell him.

    sorry if the above isn't completely coherent, rant mode off now.
     
  12. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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  13. Max Leung

    Max Leung Producer

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    Maybe, Ryan. But if he didn't have all that cash, he never would have built a mansion 50km from the Moroccon capital! No chance for us to bug him every week, y'know? [​IMG]
    The only time he would call is if his email stops working, as he used to get his email from a private server run by another friend. Ah well.
     
  14. Scott Leopold

    Scott Leopold Supporting Actor

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    Gosh, where do I start. None of the people I was friends with in grade school who went to the same High School as I did remained friends with me once Freshman year started. My school was very clique-y, and I decided not to play that game. As a result, I spent my free time with my friends who attended other schools. One of the guys I was friends with fell into the "loser" clique. This didn't bother me, but it bothered him tremendously that I was friendly with some of the people in one of the popular cliques, who had supposedly pigeonholed him and a few others into this clique. As a result, we didn't stay friends long. It wasn't that I was doing anything to slight him or behind his back, I just wasn't willing to play the clique game. I chose to be friends with the people I enjoyed hanging around with, which was very few at that school, and pretty much ignored the rest.

    One guy I ended up getting to be pretty close friends with ended up going into the Army or Air Force following high school. We had had a lot of good times together, and I was sad to see him go. He knew that I was pretty upset about it, and he also knew that I had no plans to ever join the military. The day he left, I was pleased to get a call from him. I expected this to be a goodbye call, and he quickly told me when he'd be coming home and what his address was. He then handed the phone over to the recruiter, and was angry with me when I wasn't exactly civil to the recruiter. I received one letter from him, which I never responded to, and haven't heard from him since.

    During college I had a friend who was a bit of a womanizer, and a bit too heavy into drugs. Despite these and numerous other faults, we were still pretty good friends. After several years of friendship, I had decided that partying every night wasn't what I wanted from life. I had started dating my wife, and there were more important things in life than getting falling-down, puking drunk 5-7 nights per week. It was about this time that he went through his anti-drinking, holier-than-thou phase. While he didn't drink, he did drugs constantly, so much so that I never saw him sober during this period. This put a great strain on our relationship, especially the night we were headed to a party and he told me that he wouldn't allow any alcohol in the car (I had brought a fifth of JD to share, and a 12-pack of beer for myself). After a bit of an argument, I decided I could always bum something off somebody else at the party seeing as how everyone who was going to be there had done the same to me in the past (although I was reluctant to leave the JD because I was known for always bringing a fifth to these parties). We headed for the party, which was about a 40 minute drive. Ten minutes from my house, he lights up one of the biggest joints I've ever seen--keep in mind, this was right after telling me that he didn't approve of alcohol in his car. Shortly after this, he fell back into drinking, with no diminishing of his drugging. Around the same time, I was having some major problems with my cousin, who was also in our group of friends. My cousin and I had had a falling out, and everyone in our group was aware of the reasons. My cousin had a different take on the situation, and essentially blamed me for the problems. I knew that if I could sit down and talk to him, we could work it out. Unfortunately, his brother was working as the intermediary, and he was angrier with me than my cousin was. To make the situation worse, this supposed friend of mine ran into my cousin's brother at school, and told him the whole situation was my fault, and backed up my cousin's version of events entirely. Needless to say, this kept the problems going between my cousin and I for at least 6 months longer than they should have gone. A couple nights later, I was out with my wife and a few friends when the friend in question showed up. He was seeing another friend of mine who was, at the time, on the outs with her fiancee. She left shortly after they arrived, and he spent the rest of evening telling everyone of his carnal escapades with both her and another friend of mine, both of whom I worked with. Seeing some obvious faults with the facts and timelines of his tales, and being a bit offended that he was telling such things about them in a seedy bar, I decided to call them both the next day to ask them about it (I know, it was pretty underhanded, but much more deserved than what he had done in the situation with my cousin--and I was being honest). For some reason, neither girl was willing to speak to him after that. The last time I saw him, he told me he had heard that I was spreading lies about him. I assured him that I had not told anything dishonest about him to anybody I knew, which was the absolute truth.
     
  15. Christopher P

    Christopher P Supporting Actor

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    "Friends come and go like bus boys in a restaurant, did you ever notice that?" The quote from Stephen King's THE BODY seems to resonate more and more with me as I move into my mid 20's. Most of my friends from high school have moved away and many have gotten married. Aside from an occasional e-mail, I don't communicate with them. I made a few friends in college and some others here and there, but don't talk to many of them either. No ill will, just people change, get busy with spouses and jobs.

    Now that I live alone, have few friends that I hang out with, work in a company of 7 people and no longer go to school, I don't meet people too often, and the chance to become close with someone (male or female) isn't as readily available. Maybe I'm a bit more restrained with myself too. I can't really relate to the stated topic, but my 26 years have seemed to make me think more and more that friends just sort of come and go in life. So as such, I try and enjoy their time with me while it lasts.

    Chris
     

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