Engagement Rings.... (1 Viewer)

[MikeFR]

Unless you really need to do the traditional thing, wouldnt you both be better off in the long run if you put the 'ring money' towards your student loans or even towards a home?

I know one couple in particular who did the ring thing and are paying for insurance on it, but get this, they cant afford insurance on their apartment! Makes no sense.

It just seems silly to me when people spend thousands of dollars on a ring and then are miserable when they get married because they are in debt and can never get ahead or are stuck in a crappy apartment. I understand the desire to be romantic, do the traditional thing and to a certain extent prove your love/commitment, but if your girl isnt the type of person that requires that, why not do something practical and make a real investment in your future?

 

[andrew markworthy]

What, carats?

Although there is a lot of good advice on the 4 Cs, etc, when was the last time someone you knew looked at a ring and took out a jeweller's eyeglass to look at it? Remember that what is called 'flawed' in a gemologist's report may be utterly unobservable under normal conditions.

A couple of other pointers:

(a) the idea of engagement rings is relatively modern; this isn't some ancient religious tradition. There's nothing wrong in getting a respectable ring now and a much flashier eternity ring or similar in later years when funds allow (trust me, if you're even moderately prudent, the day will come, and sooner than you may think).

(b) there is no sacred law that says you must have a diamond solitaire; and other stones are generally cheaper.

(c) if the shops in the mall are anything like the high street jewellers in the UK, then be very careful. It's not that the stock is necessarily bad, but it's often more expensive than elsewhere.

(d) have you thought of buying a pre-owned ring? No, I don't mean something from a recent broken engagement, but an older ring. They are generally a lot cheaper (and remember that if the ring doesn't fit, then unless it's a very intricate design, any competent jeweller can usually make the alterations for a small charge). E.g. my mum's is a Victorian antique that my dad bought for a fraction of the cost of a new one (and made a great bargain - a cluster of three 2-carat Sri Lankan sapphires - admittedly my mum does have large hands, so it doesn't look too unwieldy on her finger).

And finally - congratulations and good luck!

 

[nolesrule]

I spent $600 on my wife's engagement ring, a solitaire on yellow gold (inside of setting is white gold to not mess with color), and she even helped pick it out. It's small, we were both in college at the time, but she has long thin fingers so it actually looks quite good. A few years later, I bought her a "wrap" to go with it. It's a second ring that is shaped to fit together with the first ring around the solitaire. It has 6 small diamonds in it to accentuate the solitaire.

Yes, the diamond ring is a relatively recent tradition, and spending money on jewelry as a symbol may seem like folly to some, but unless the woman specifically says she doesn't want a ring, you don't want to start the next stage of your relationship on the wrong foot.

And no, I don't think it is materialistic. Don't confuse that with tangible. If done right, an engagement ring is a romantic gesture that is a physical reminder of the decision to get married, a rmeinder that can last a very long time. Sure, you can spend a couple hundred at a fancy restaurant and have a nice romatic evening (which I recommend be part of the whole process ), but the leftovers won't last forever.

On the finacial side, don't get what you can afford. As with every other major purchase, get something less expensive than what you can afford at present so you don't get stuck paying for it later.

 

[ChrisMatson]

RE: White Gold vs. Platinum vs. Titanium

Titanium is the cheapest, by far. It is also the lightest weight and the strongest. I have heard that some flimsy ring cutters have trouble with Ti, but hospitals are prepared to cut it. Titanium is used in joint replacements. One problem I have heard is that Ti can turn blue with age. I saw Ti rings for less than $100.

White gold is heavy compared to Ti, but much lighter than Pl. It can turn yellow with age, but can be refinished at a reasonable price. My wedding band is white gold and was about $350.

Platinum is HEAVY and expensive. The same wedding band I got in gold would be about $1,200 in Pl.

 

[DaveGTP]

I got engaged to my fiancee a little under a year ago. Read up on the 4Cs!! I opted for an SI1 clarity diamond, .38 SI1 - it was bigger than a third, but not as big as the .47 carat/lesser-color-grade stone that I was looking at. We looked around like a year before (and I wrote down her ring size a year before that and hid it somewhere). So she had seen what she preferred, but we looked well ahead of time.

I got 0% financing (I spent time working hard to improve my credit rating in the year prior to afford the ring). Of course she happened across my tax refund email from Taxcut and get an inkling that something was going on - so it wasn't a COMPLETE surprise, I guess. I was (and still am) fairly broke - too much of my income is absorbed by bills, etc. The tax refund provided the downpayment, and the 0% financing payments paid for the rest (paid off this month, whoo hoo!)



I ended up preferring the smaller .38 SI1, color G? stone over the bigger but duller .47 SI2 color h? stone. Stacey had already decided on the standard (most sparkly) cut the year before.

But my fiancee isn't really the materialistic type. She preferred the sparkly-er smaller stone, and the lower mounting so that it wouldn't get caught on stuff/banged on stuff to badly. She would have smacked me if I'd have went over 2k on some huger stone. She knows I scraped and worked hard to improve my credit to be able to afford it.


And if you hear that two-months-of-salary rule, don't listen to it. It's just propaganda created and encouraged by the De Beers diamond monopoly and its cohorts to make $$. Diamond engagement rings themselves as a tradition were pretty much created by the De Beers monopoly (just like the new campaign to have a diamond on each hand).

Buy something you can afford! A big diamond does not equal love. I'm with John Berger on this one. I hate the diamond = love propaganda. Materialistic crap. A diamond is pretty much essentially = to engagement these days - just don't believe the bull that the diamond industry will try to push on you (think of Bose when you hear the marketing) and get something within your budget that she will be happy with (unless she's the materialistic type that wants a big rock).


Also - TIP - keep in mind what kind of jewelry she wears - my fiancee wears mainly silver - I bought her a gold/ruby promise ring prior to the engagement ring and it is glaringly different to her silver stuff. I went with white gold for the engagement ring to match all the silver better, and she's much happier with it that way.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

Titanium: One of the more common elements found, but difficult to mine and process. Finished titanium is dark grey, but if examined closely, has thousands of tiny colour reflections. It is a uncommonly good implant grade metal and is used extensively in joint repairs/replacements. It's corrosion time is best measured in mathematics (Leave it in salt water and it wont rust till after your grandkids are dead), and has little magnetic value.

Because of its "biocompatibility" titanium in jewelry is comonly found in permenent and semi-perm body jewely.

Titanium weighs half as much, and is twice as strong as an equal amount of regular steel. Because of this titanium tools are all the rage, and will likely become commonplace.

Much like aluminum, as ornamental jewelry, I don't think titanium will be en-vouge much longer as it becomes more readily available.

I personally have a Titanium citizen eco-drive watch, that hasn't needed a battery or repair in five years, and all my body jewelry is titanium. half the weight of stainless steel is important with 10g frenum's.

 

[Ricardo C]

AIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

 

[Vince Maskeeper]

But what about Silver? Is silver cheaper, and therefor considered less "loving" as a gift or looked down upon when worn?

-Vince

 

[ChrisMatson]

Silver has a problem with tarnishing and needs to be cleaned often. It is also less valuable, similar to titanium as I recall. If you have silver, titanium, white gold, and platinum side-by-side, the differences pop out. Platinum is the most shiny and most white.

It is not unlike comparing an interlaced picture from a $30 DVD player on a 20" TV to a high end system. At some point, some think it is a waste of money where others simply want the "best" and are willing to pay for it.

 

[nolesrule]

Some people actually have allergies to silver and gold-plated materials, especially if the skin has a high level of acidity. Solid gold and platinum do not interact chemically nearly as much, and they are safer.

As to tarnishing, where I live, silver that was worn daily would have to be cleaned weekly. My wife loves silver jewelry, but only for earings and necklaces that will be worn at most 4 times/month. For daily wear, such as engagement and wedding rings, she prefers gold.

 

[Ryan Tsang]

Alan,

I'll keep my post focused on the buying of a diamond and none of the morality/ethical/finanical aspect because others have said it better than I can.

First of all, congrats for getting to this level of commitment.

I prefer quality over quanity, and I'd say buy the most beautiful diamond you can reasonably afford. If size is the primary factor, then that's fine. To me however, cut is the most important of the 4C's. I recently purchased a diamond from niceice.com and I would not hesitate to make future purchases there or refer another to do so. Please make the effort to visit their website to learn about diamonds, and why cut is so important before you make a purchase anywhere. Their reputation is very good, and my experience with them exceeded that. I got what I wanted, exactly how they described, within a week (of my payment)to Canada. Their service, response to email, courtesy, professionalism....man, I could go on and on. You will get better service and most importantly, learn far more about the stone you're spending hard-earned cash for than you would at a mall. I had it evaluated here by a gemologist (www.diamond-gallery.com) with loads of experience and credentials, without him knowing where I got it or seeing the papers. My stone is an AGS stone and he used the GIA standard. Nevertheless, he was almost dead on.

If you are considering a pre-owned ring, I have one for sale. (different one from the NiceIce stone to avoid confusion) Locally purchased, 0.58ct solitaire, GH, VS2, unengraved platinum band (sizable since it's not tension-set). I can keep it within your budget. Email me at [email protected] if you want more info or about niceice and how I bought my sparkly.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Tim K]

Do what I did. Tell your girlfriend that if she ever wants to get a ring from you that she likes, she should look at some rings and give you a picture of a couple that she likes. Tell her you will store them somewhere and if/when the time is right you will use it. This way, you get to surprise her with the timing, but she gets something she loves.

Also, I cannot stress enough, you need to know that most jewelry stores would rip you off soon as look at you. I was lucky to have a friend in the business, but I still did a ton of research.

First, buy this book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

it is worth well more than the $13 it costs. Read it cover to cover before you set foot in a store....and take it with you. Watch the look on the jewelers faces when they see it. They'll know you are educated and be very hesitant in what they try to do to you.

When it is time to buy you need to determine what size range you want the stone in (3/4-1ct). Then you need to choose the color (D,E,F etc). You must look at stones of various colors on a white background. Use your eye to determine what level of color you can see and what it is worth to you. Then, determine the level of clarity you can see and what level is satisfactory to you (VS1, S2, etc). Then you can narrow down your stone.

 

[Jerry Klawiter]

I just breezed past some of the posts here.
Excuse me if someone already posted this link.
This forum is a great place to start.
www.diamondtalk.com

 

[DaveF]

I'm resurrecting this thread since I'm (to my utter amazement) shopping for a diamond ring. :b

I'm not sure I have much to add, but I appreciate the good comments from a while back. If there's new advice on diamonds, I'd enjoy hearing it.

The sort of diamond is well represented by this Blue Nile diamond: http://www.bluenile.com/diamonds_det...pid=LD00911845

Very Good cut, E (colorless) color, VS2 clarity (no visible flaws), 0.5 carat. I'd hoped to stay below $1k for the diamond, but I desire a (relatively) high quality diamond.

I'm not sure I will buy from Blue Nile, but there online search system and tremendous education materials appeals to me.

Now, if only they had a maximum-descent optimizer to find the perfect diamond for me. I can almost describe the merit function...

 

[Jim Sentry]

If you are close enough to NYC drive to the Diamond District at 47th and 6th.

You'll find tons of merchants there.

Whoever you buy from get an an ironclad guarantee from the seller that if it does not appraise out for at least twice what you paid for it you can bring it back for a full refund.

I bought my wife's ring in the Diamond District and paid $1200 for it and then had it appraised at Macy's. Their value was 4K.

BTW I gave it my wife in a box of Popcorn at the movies.

 

[David Lawson]

I had an excellent experience with Dirt Cheap Diamonds when I bought my wife's ring last year. (Don't let the horrible name discourage you.) They had a loose diamond "clearance" section with pictures of the actual stones at the time, although I don't see it now.

I think their settings and (especially) wedding bands are on the high side, but the 1.01 carat radiant I purchased has appraised anywhere from 2x to 3x what I paid for it, which I'm more than pleased with. The wife is pleased with it, too.

 

[DaveF]

I'm 8+ hours away, so that's not a convenient place to shop

I'll look up DCD, see if they have a clearance section anymore.

 

[Sam Posten]

Good luck on your upcoming wedding! And now allow me to offend most of the other posters in this thread =)

While I think engagement rings and wedding rings are totally fine, personally I think diamonds are a bunch of hooey. That 4c crap has got to be the biggest marketing gimmick ever created...

Search for the 1982 The Atlantic article 'Have you ever tried to sell a diamond?' and make up your own mind.
http://karmak.org/archive/2002/08/8202diamond1.htm

Since that time the monopolies only gotten worse, and the artificial ones better.

Sam

 

[mark alan]

If only women were as logical as men, you could buy diamonds for about $100/carat (their true value).

 

[Garrett Lundy]

I figured I'd update you if anyone cares. I purchased a titanium band for my wedding (it has a gold edge) which matches me watch. The fact I bought it at Wal*Mart tells you that titanium is now uncool, since you can buy it at Wal*Mart



My Jan. 2004 prophecy has been fulfilled. Coming up next;" Heart attack or cancer, which should you bet on?"