Ebay A$$ kicking!!

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Micheal, Oct 3, 2001.

  1. Micheal

    Micheal Screenwriter

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    This is funny stuff...
    I will kick your ass.
    Item # 1641798199
    Everything Else:Services [​IMG]ther
    Currently $1.75 First bid $0.01
    Quantity 1 # of bids 4 bid history
    Time left 6 days, 22 hours +
    Location Albany, NY
    Country/Region USA/Albany
    Started Sep-23-01 14:06:38 PDT mail this auction to a friend
    Ends Sep-30-01 14:06:38 PDT watch this item
    Seller (Rating) hail_brak (3)
    view comments in seller's Feedback Profile | view seller's other auctions | ask seller a question
    High bid rippea (5)
    Payment See item description for payment methods accepted
    Shipping Will ship to United States and the following regions:
    Asia. Caribbean. Europe. Mexico and Central America. Canada Australasia. South America. See item description for shipping charges.
    Item Revised Before First Bid To review revisions made to this item by the seller, click here.
    Seller assumes all responsibility for listing this item. You should contact the seller to resolve any questions before bidding. Auction currency is U.S. dollars ( $ ) unless otherwise noted.
    Description
    Winning bid receives an ass-kicking from me personally. I am 6'0" and weigh over 230 lbs. If you win this auction, I will personally come to your house and kick your ass. I guarantee that I will not break any bones or kill you, nor will I use any weapons on you, but I will give you a good beating. I will do this under two conditions:
    1) You or anyone else does not press charges against me(after all, you bought the ass-kicking),
    2) You do not fight back or attempt to physically harm me in any other manner (this is your ass getting kicked, not mine).
    Buyer provides round-trip plane ticket to the nearest airport, as well as cab fare to your house and back. If you are not close to an airport, you may provide me with a train ticket or other means of transportation. Do not pick me up, as I will be attacking you completely randomly. Buyer must also provide good, clear directions to their house, as well as any business expenses for if I need to stay in a hotel or buy food for myself during the trip. Most likely though I will just fly in, kick your ass, and then leave.
    Upon my arrival, I will select a random time to come over and kick your ass. It may be when you are sleeping, or showering, or any other time during the day/night when you are most vulnerable. During this beating I may damage one or more of your household items, if I have to break glass to get into your home or knock over furniture if you attempt to run from me. This should be expected by you, and covered in my expenses. If you are married or have children, I may choose to slap around your family a little bit, but only if I'm feeling particularly generous. They should be informed of this, and expect it as well.
    Bidding starts at one cent ($0.01) but remember the winner must pay all expenses for my travel if they wish for me to come and kick their ass.
    I will accept check, money order, or Paypal. Or you could just let me use your valid credit card for a few days and we'll call it even.
    [​IMG]
    ------------------
    BLAM!
    Good, bad...I'm the guy with the gun.
    I'm looking to sell my Toshiba 40 x 81 HDTV
    Check out my movie mural here... http://www.geocities.com/superfacehu...ater_Page.html
    [Edited last by Micheal on October 03, 2001 at 01:10 PM]
     
  2. Paul_D

    Paul_D Cinematographer

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    What happens if someone actually places a bid? [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  3. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
    Moderator

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  4. JonZ

    JonZ Lead Actor

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    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
    Im not too far from Albany, and very tempted to win this thing.Im 6'1 230lbs
    I'd tape for you guys so you could see what happened
    temped.......temped.......temped.......
    ------------------
    Visit My Pathetic WebPage
    "....With that in mind,I humbly add my own prophecy of
    what the dawn of the new millennium shall bring forth-
    one thousand more years of the same old crap" Jose Chung
    [Edited last by JonZ on October 03, 2001 at 02:22 PM]
     
  5. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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    Now if Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine) was offering that...
    --
    Holadem
     
  6. KeithH

    KeithH Lead Actor

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  7. KeithH

    KeithH Lead Actor

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    I searched eBay's web site to see if anyone had bid on the a$$ kicking, but the auction was taken off the site. I got the following statement in response to my query:
    quote: Invalid Item
    The item you requested ( 1641798199 ) is invalid or no longer in our database. Please check the number and try again. If this message persists, the item has expired and is no longer available.[/quote]
    Too bad. [​IMG]
    EDIT: Michael, I just noticed from your post that the auction ended on September 30th. I searched eBay for the auction on October 3rd. It is possible that eBay's search function, at least they way I used it, only searches current auctions. Maybe eBay did let it run to completion.
    ------------------
    My:
    HT Pics ; Equipment List ; DVD Collection ; LD Collection
    KeithH: Saving the Home Theater World Before Bedtime
    [Edited last by KeithH on October 03, 2001 at 03:44 PM]
     
  8. AaronNWilson

    AaronNWilson Second Unit

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  9. Kevin Leonard

    Kevin Leonard Supporting Actor

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    Yeah, eBay sure does have some odd auctions. Here's a neat site that archives several of eBay's "greatest hits," so to speak:
    http://www.whattheheck.com/ebay/ http://www.whattheheck.com/ebay/buttkicker.html Love it!
    ------------------
    Have you ever noticed anyone driving slower than you is an idiot? And anyone driving faster than you is a maniac!! - George Carlin
    ICQ: 55259446 (or just search for "John Shaft"...can you dig?)
     
  10. Greg_Y

    Greg_Y Screenwriter

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    How about that half-eaten roast beef sandwich? "It is very tasty. If it was ever to have a political appointment it would be as Ambassador of Yummy."
    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  11. Philip_G

    Philip_G Producer

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    there's been several of those posted by the same dude over the last 2 weeks.
    kind of stupi really, he's paying at least a buck each listing.
     

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