Dennis Nicholls
Senior HTF Member
Would it lead to the liberalization of the famous "butter scene" from Last Tango in Paris? 
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Dumb laws (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Abby_B
- Start date
David Von Pein
Senior HTF Member
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2002
- Messages
- 5,752
Here are some of my favorite "dumb laws". It's hard to believe that most of these aren't just made up from whole cloth by a city official with a pencil who got a little tipsy one New Year's Eve. But, apparently these are for real. They certainly tickle the funny bone, that's for sure. [My comments are in brackets.].....
============================================
IN SOUTH DAKOTA:
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing
pants.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property, you
may shoot them.
IN NEW MEXICO:
Idiots may not vote.
[Then I guess the retards who invent these silly laws won't be entering a voting booth anytime soon.]
IN OHIO:
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in
public.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
[On Saturdays, though, you're allowed to land all the whales your boat
can handle. LOL.]
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
[Now, all we need to figure out is WHY anyone from the Buckeye State
would have a desire to make a mackerel tipsy? ~shrug~]
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
[Too bad I'm not from Ohio.]
IN NEVADA:
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
[Don't worry, driving giraffes and bison ARE permitted in Vegas,
however.]
IN WASHINGTON:
It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag
(daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said
vehicle.
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the
other has passed.
[Huh????]
IN GEORGIA:
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which
lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
IN MASSACHUSETTS:
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
[No restrictions on cole slaw and potato salad, though.]
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
[But only if the weapon was purchased through Klein's in Chicago, and
shipped to "A. Hidell" in Dallas.]
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
[This law is obviously on the books in conjunction with the one I
posted right above it. It's to protect the preacher who gave a silly-
sounding sermon during church services.]
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
[Bullet SHELLS, however, CAN be used in lieu of cash. Two 6.5mm shells
= $2.25.]
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
IN PENNSYLVANIA:
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt
and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
[In your kitchen, okay. But on the front porch, forget it.]
It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon,
revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
[At the wedding REHEARSAL, however, it's perfectly okay to shoot off
your cannon. I'm not sure about a funeral, though. I'll check that out
and get back to y'all.]
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop
every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road
to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
[If you haven't wet your pants by this time after reading this
one....you must be dead.]
IN MAINE:
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a
Native American attack.
IN NEW YORK:
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
[And if the penalty doesn't kill you, the thing you did wrong
certainly will.]
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold
his hands while looking toward the door.
IN ARIZONA:
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
[But if it's the real McCoy....you're in the clear.]
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only
protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
[A dandy and logical little law here. This one was added to the books
by members of the "Funeral Directors Association Of Arizona, Inc.", in
order to boost sagging sales.]
IN OKLAHOMA:
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being
licensed by the state.
[Enforcing this one must be kind of a hassle, huh?]
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to
congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s
hamburger.
[What about a cheeseburger?]
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a
motor vehicle.
["War & Peace", okay. "The Archies", no way.]
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your
boots.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
[A cab, fine. On a bus, uh-huh.]
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one’s car.
[A Kleenex in the front seat is okay however. Remember this, Tulsa-
ites.]
IN OREGON:
It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal
matter on the side of any highway.
[I can't tell you how many tickets I've gotten for doing this! But, old (and bad) habits are hard to break.
Dishes must drip dry.
[Enforcing this one must be a bitch too. .... (knock on door) --
"Excuse me, ma'am, I'm Officer Taylor with the Dish Police. We need to
inspect your drainboard please."]
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing".
[Quite a built-in quandary with this one, huh?]
IN KANSAS:
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
IN CONNECTICUT:
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it
must bounce.
IN ALASKA:
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving
airplane.
[If the moose has already expired, however.....Geronimo!!!]
IN INDIANA:
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
[Whew!]
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in
the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3
under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
[I think a "WTF??" is overdue....don't you?]
AND MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE (although the one about a motorist being forced to send up a rocket signal and wait for the road to be cleared of livestock is a very close #2) --- (drum-roll please) ---
IN IDAHO:
It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy
weighing less than 50 pounds.
[FIFTY pounds?!! Yes, FIFTY pounds! No wonder there were so many blimps in Boise the last time I was there.]
Lots more hilarity at:
Dumb Laws, Stupid Laws: We have weird laws, strange laws, and just plain crazy laws!
============================================
IN SOUTH DAKOTA:
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing
pants.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property, you
may shoot them.
IN NEW MEXICO:
Idiots may not vote.
[Then I guess the retards who invent these silly laws won't be entering a voting booth anytime soon.]
IN OHIO:
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in
public.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
[On Saturdays, though, you're allowed to land all the whales your boat
can handle. LOL.]
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
[Now, all we need to figure out is WHY anyone from the Buckeye State
would have a desire to make a mackerel tipsy? ~shrug~]
It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
[Too bad I'm not from Ohio.]
IN NEVADA:
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
[Don't worry, driving giraffes and bison ARE permitted in Vegas,
however.]
IN WASHINGTON:
It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag
(daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said
vehicle.
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the
other has passed.
[Huh????]
IN GEORGIA:
It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which
lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
IN MASSACHUSETTS:
At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
[No restrictions on cole slaw and potato salad, though.]
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
[But only if the weapon was purchased through Klein's in Chicago, and
shipped to "A. Hidell" in Dallas.]
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
[This law is obviously on the books in conjunction with the one I
posted right above it. It's to protect the preacher who gave a silly-
sounding sermon during church services.]
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
[Bullet SHELLS, however, CAN be used in lieu of cash. Two 6.5mm shells
= $2.25.]
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
IN PENNSYLVANIA:
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt
and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
[In your kitchen, okay. But on the front porch, forget it.]
It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon,
revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
[At the wedding REHEARSAL, however, it's perfectly okay to shoot off
your cannon. I'm not sure about a funeral, though. I'll check that out
and get back to y'all.]
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop
every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road
to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
[If you haven't wet your pants by this time after reading thisone....you must be dead.]
IN MAINE:
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a
Native American attack.
IN NEW YORK:
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
[And if the penalty doesn't kill you, the thing you did wrong
certainly will.]
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold
his hands while looking toward the door.
IN ARIZONA:
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.
[But if it's the real McCoy....you're in the clear.]
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only
protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses.
[A dandy and logical little law here. This one was added to the books
by members of the "Funeral Directors Association Of Arizona, Inc.", in
order to boost sagging sales.]
IN OKLAHOMA:
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being
licensed by the state.
[Enforcing this one must be kind of a hassle, huh?]
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to
congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s
hamburger.
[What about a cheeseburger?]
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a
motor vehicle.
["War & Peace", okay. "The Archies", no way.]
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your
boots.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
[A cab, fine. On a bus, uh-huh.]
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one’s car.
[A Kleenex in the front seat is okay however. Remember this, Tulsa-
ites.]
IN OREGON:
It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal
matter on the side of any highway.
[I can't tell you how many tickets I've gotten for doing this! But, old (and bad) habits are hard to break.
Dishes must drip dry.
[Enforcing this one must be a bitch too. .... (knock on door) --
"Excuse me, ma'am, I'm Officer Taylor with the Dish Police. We need to
inspect your drainboard please."]
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing".
[Quite a built-in quandary with this one, huh?]
IN KANSAS:
Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
IN CONNECTICUT:
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it
must bounce.
IN ALASKA:
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving
airplane.
[If the moose has already expired, however.....Geronimo!!!]
IN INDIANA:
Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.
Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.
[Whew!]
If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in
the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3
under the Act to Prevent Certain Immoral Practices.
[I think a "WTF??" is overdue....don't you?]
AND MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE (although the one about a motorist being forced to send up a rocket signal and wait for the road to be cleared of livestock is a very close #2) --- (drum-roll please) ---
IN IDAHO:
It is illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy
weighing less than 50 pounds.
[FIFTY pounds?!! Yes, FIFTY pounds! No wonder there were so many blimps in Boise the last time I was there.] Lots more hilarity at:
Dumb Laws, Stupid Laws: We have weird laws, strange laws, and just plain crazy laws!
In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
BrokenAmbience
Grip
- Joined
- Jul 17, 2008
- Messages
- 15
- Real Name
- Shane
Well there go my plans for this christmas weekend, lol.
Dennis Nicholls
Senior HTF Member
Actually there's a fishing pond right outside the giraffe area at Zoo Boise so it would be possible to break this law. However just climbing into an animal's zone is punishable all by itself.
uh oh Dennis is at it again.
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