Druids (1 Viewer)

[Rhett_Y]

Hello all..

Is this movie any good? It looks like it could be cool, but I would like some opinions on the film first?

Thanks

R~

 

[Jason Whyte]

Yes, this film is absolutely worth your time and effort to obtain....that is, if you want to have an absolute blast for 125 minutes laughing at what very well may be the pinnacle of bad, bad, BAD filmmaking in the last ten years.
This film has no direction, no aimable storyline, poor framing, hilariously stupid dialogue (that isn't even recorded properly, it looks as if it was dubbed from english to french, then back into english!) and Christophe(r) Lambert (I bracketed the "R" because he was credited on the poster without it, yet his "R" is shown in the credits) doing his usual mugging and slugging throughout. It also has a career destroying performance by Klaus Maria Brandeaur who plays Casear as if he's got to take a shit. Max Von Sydow sleepwalks through a few scenes, and Ines Sastre, while lovely, thinks she's the most important actress in the movie because she's the only one who doesn't flash her breasts. At best, I could describe this movie as a poor ripoff of Braveheart mixed with some attitude of Gladiator, but what's the point?
I saw this back at the Tinseltown in Vancouver late August, and the entire experience was like having a root canal, but leaving the dentist, having the dentist chase you in his car, driving you off the road, dragging you back kicking and screaming for more root canal work.
I was so blown away by how AWFUL this film was, that I was paying more attention to what was going on in the audience as I watched it:
-The picture was misframed and no one really got up to ask it to be fixed for about ten minutes
-A guy down the row fell asleep and I woke him up as I left
-There was scattered, insulting laughter towards the screen throughout, especially to the useless topless women and Christopher Lambert's mugging
-First the guy near me walked out. Then a guy in the next row walked out. Then a couple walked out. Then a guy started eating potato chips and I kept looking over to see what kind they were AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE CHIPS!
When it comes to list the bad films of 2001, forget Freddy Got Fingered. Forget Corky Romano. Hell, even forget Poil Habra. "Druids" is a historical mistake, the kind of film that baffles me to why it was even made in the first place, and at a rumored $80 million francs, will be an embarassment to all involved for years to come.
Does even the DVD cover want to make you see it?

No, Christopher Lambert's not really sticking a sword through his neck, but wouldn't it be funny if he did?
Thanks for asking Rhett, this post helped me wake up.
Jay

 

[Rhett_Y]

Wow...Ok...Guess I can skip this one
Thanks for the heads up!
Hey glad to help you out, Thats what I am hear for...LOL...
Rhett

 

[Scott Weinberg]

Then a guy started eating potato chips and I kept looking over to see what kind they were AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE CHIPS!

Dude, that's FUNNY! As someone who tries to put something funny in every review I write, I'm very impressed.

Can't wait to see this one!

 

[Seth Paxton]

I swear to god, as soon as I saw this thread title I thought "uh oh, Jason will want to know about this". But he got here before me.
Don't worry Rhett it's not you, Jason has been lamenting seeing this picture over in Movies in the 2001 Best/Worst thread for quite awhile. The film has made an impact in his life, it was that horrible for him. It has been his benchmark for awful ever since he saw it (and he might be the only dumb bastard who did ).
If it was a light pan, then you might get lucky in risking it, but with the amount of animosity he has shown I won't even be renting it out of curiousity. I figure I don't need to be made angry by another bad rental choice this year.
Then again...how bad can it be?
Ha Ha Jason :p)

 

[Jason Whyte]

Then again...how bad can it be?

Hmm, well you've seen Poil Habra....imagine it starring Bobcat Goldwaith as Barney Affleck, Tom Green as Josh Hartnett and Kathy Griffin as Kate Beckinsale and they set the film in Tahiti. Druids would be worse!
Jay

 

[cafink]

There was scattered, insulting laughter towards the screen throughout, especially to the useless topless women and Christopher Lambert's mugging.

Useless topless women? Didn't know there was such a thing!

 

[Lance Nichols]

I to have to agree with this. Don't waste your cash on this disc. Heck, don't accept it if someone was giving youoney to take it. I was baffled at the ability to put something like this out. It doesn't even try to be good, something that could be argued about, say Pearl Harbour.

I breifly hadin on my DVD Profiler wish list as a gift to my little brother, who at the time I added the profile to the database (something I will never live down), could not get enough of this film. Bleg. Fortunately, I have made him see the light, and I no longer have to have this on the wishlist as a gift.

Don't see it! You will never get that time back.

 

[Mark Pfeiffer]

Jason doesn't like potato chips?!

 

[Jason Whyte]

Useless topless women? Didn't know there was such a thing!

Yeah, but if there's nudity on screen for NO reason, it's BORING. I like boobs as much as the next guy, but c'mon!
Seen this film?

This would make a GREAT double bill with Druids. Not only would a Roger Corman-inspired yarn and the useless bouncing, kickboxing boobs be on par with the flashing villagers and topless Druidesses, both of the film's plots are just as laughable when you read them:
Angelfist From IMDB.com
An assassination in the Philippines is caught on film by kickboxer Christy, which leads to her death at the hands of radicals intent on disrupting peace talks. Her sister Kat, a Los Angeles police officer, comes to Manila to try and bring justice to the people responsible. She enters the kickboxing tournament in order to get closer to the nefarious agents, and begins unravelling the twisted plan while narrowly evading the wrath of the Death Brigades.
Druids From the DVD back cover
"Druids is the exciting, action-packed historical epic featuring exceptional performances from Christopher Lambert (Highlander, Fortress 2) Klaus Maria Brandauer (Out of Africa, Never Say Never Again), Max von Sydow (The Exorcist, Snow Falling on Cedars) and introducing the beautiful talented newcomer Ines Sastre.
In 60 B.C., Vercingetorix is a strong, peaceful Gallic chieftain with a legacy to protect his fellow Druids on the Celtic Isles. But when Julius Caesar and his Roman army declare war, Vercingetorix has no choice but to fight. Reunited with his childhood love and armed with little more than raw courage, Vercingetorix unites his people and prepares them for the battle of their lives."

And no, Jay don't like potato chips. Unless you're buying.
Jay

 

[Matthew Chmiel]

MUST SEE ANGEL FIST NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

 

[Jason Whyte]

Oh shit, what have I done....

 

[Matthew Chmiel]

Oh shit, what have I done....

You corrupted me yet again. First Maelstrom and now this.

 

[Seth Paxton]

Matt, you have no idea.
You see that hot brunette on the bottom of the cover. That's Cat Sasson.
Lots of naked, lots of hot. She's awesome.
I don't think Jason is fully appreciating the helpful nature of nudity to a film.
Clearly we need screen caps rather than covers.

 

[Geoffrey_A]

One question. Does this triumph of filmmaking compare to the sheer majesty of Lambert's "Beowulf" ? I just have to know if Chris has done it again

 

[JohnS]

Druids
Let me put a thought into your head. You know what it's like when your on the toilet for a long period of time, and you've been there for so long, your legs start going numb?
That is Druids.
A piece of trash, that uses pieces of dialogue such as "We'll get the booty" We'll split the booty in half" and my ever favorite..."Now, Quick, kick my ass!"
What was I watching? Did I care? What was the point? I could have been doing something more constructive then wathching this 2 hour and 4 min movie. What you ask?
I could have watched paint dry on a wall, I could have watched a light bulb burn out.
RATING=F

 

[Neil_S]

Whoa.

When I first saw that cover I was trying to figure out why Derek Smalls was in the movie.

I suppose he has armadillos in his tunic... I mean it's really quite frightening.

 

[Mark Cappelletty]

Ha! I noticed this film for the first time at Laser Blazer in West L.A. and was stunned by the pedigrees of two of the writers-- Rospo Pallenberg, a one time collaborator with John Boorman who co-wrote "Excalibur" and noted sci-fi author Norman Spinrad, whose "Bug Jack Barron" is a minor classic. Pretty bizarre.

 

[Philip Verdieck]

Oh man. This sounds so bad, I gotta rent this!