Do you fear the imminent approach of Turkey Knapp? (1 Viewer)

[DaveBB]

We're not going to have any server problems after November 1st because nobody will be visiting the forum while Turkey Knapp is up!

 

[Jon_Are]

I've fallen victim to Turkey Knapp twice myself; the first time was approximately two years ago, and the second was, ohhhhh, around a year ago.

Seems like just when I've learned to struggle through a day without a flashback, usually 'roundabout each October, talk of Turkey Knapp re-surfaces and my will is once again overcome. Just when closure is imminent, I again feel those icy turkey-claws running down my spine.

We must learn to live our lives. We must not alter our day-to-day activities. We must not back down in the face of that heinous image. We must not be intimidated.

Because remember...if we continue to live in fear, Turkey Knapp wins.

Be strong.

Jon

 

[Mark Zimmer]

I dread the Advent of the dreadful Turkey Knapp. I intend to lock myself in my cellar armed only with the extended edition of Fellowship of the Ring and not come out until the little house is covered with snow and all is safe again.

 

[brentl]

"A quick search turned up no results either."

You must not scare easily Jeremy, because once you've seen it you'll be scarred for life.

Brent

 

[Jason Quillen]

I met Turkey Knapp 2 years ago, this first encounter nearly made me scratch my own eyes out. It wasnt much better last year. Who knows what will happen this year. Just keep your blunderbuss handy.

 

[Dave Poehlman]

10 days and counting...

Oh good lord! I can only hope for armageddon to come first and spare me from the horrible gaze of Turkey Knapp!

 

[Todd_B]

Before you die you see Turkey Knapp.
Todd B

 

[Evan Case]

I've heard that the latest edition of Faces of Death contains an entire segment devoted to webcam footage of people seeing Turkey Knapp for the first time and melting like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Evan

 

[Wayne Bundrick]

If a man must needs walk in sight of the Black Gate, or tread the deadly flowers of Morgul Vale, then perils he will have. I, too, despaired at last, and I began my homeward journey. And then, by fortune, I came suddenly on what I sought: the marks of soft feet beside a muddy pool. But now the trail was fresh and swift, and it led not to Mordor but away. Along the skirts of the Dead Marshes I followed it, and then I had him. Lurking by a stagnant mere, peering in the water as the dark eve fell, I caught him, Turkey Knapp. He was covered with green slime. He will never love me, I fear; for he bit me, and I was not gentle. Nothing more did I ever get from his mouth than the marks of his teeth. I deemed it the worst part of all my journey, the road back, watching him day and night, making him walk before me with a halter on his neck, gagged, until he was tamed by lack of drink and food, driving him ever towards Mirkwood. I brought him there at last and gave him to the Elves, for we had agreed that this should be done; and I was glad to be rid of his company, for he stank. For my part I hope long speech with him.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

I am currently awaiting the return of Turkey Knapp
Also Known As: Turkey Knapp the deciever, Turkey Knapp the unholy, Turkey Knapp the ungodly, Bringer of Appocalypse, Pale Rider, It that rides a white horse, Devourer of souls, Eater of spirits, et cetera

"If John Doe's head were to split-open and Turkey Knapp was to come-out, I want you to have expected it."

I can almost here his trade-mark song, the far-off call of children playing games and laughing, both to lure the unknowing into a false sense of security, and inspire fear into those who have seen Turkey Knapp and lived. It sounds kinda like the "One, Two, Freddy's coming for you" of Nightmare on Elm Street fame.
I can only offer my prayers in the hopes Turkey Knapp doesn't visit me personally:
Ia! Ia! Turkey Knapp Ftagan! - Ia! Ia! Turkey Knapp Ftagan! - Ia! Ia! Turkey Knapp Ftagan! - Ia! Ia! Turkey Knapp Ftagan!

 

[Clinton McClure]

I'm gonna try to trick Turkey Knapp this year by placing a bag of sand on top of my DVD player and putting my sub on concrete pads. That should distract it long enough for me to make a run for it.

 

[Mike Knapp]

OK, Wayne, you're creepin' me out!
Mike

 

[Wayne Bundrick]

OK, Wayne, you're creepin' me out!

Who, me? It's just a (slightly modified) quote from "Fellowship of the Ring"... Guess whose name I substituted with "Turkey Knapp"?

 

[Carlo_M]

I eagerly look forward to this year's first appearance of the Turkey Knapp!

 

[Clinton McClure]

Gobble gobble gobble.....AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!

 

[Wayne Bundrick]

(more fun with substitution)
Turkey Knapp!

• Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Turkey Knapp.
• Caution: Turkey Knapp may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
• Turkey Knapp Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
• Do not use Turkey Knapp on concrete.

Discontinue use of Turkey Knapp if any of the following occurs:

• Itching
• Vertigo
• Dizziness
• Tingling in extremities
• Loss of balance or coordination
• Slurred speech
• Temporary blindness
• Profuse sweating
• Heart palpitations

If Turkey Knapp begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Turkey Knapp may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Turkey Knapp should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Turkey Knapp, Home Theater Forum, and its owners Ron Epstein and Parker Clack, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Turkey Knapp include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Turkey Knapp has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Turkey Knapp.
Turkey Knapp comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Turkey Knapp
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

 

[Mark C Sherman]

"THIS WAS NOT A BOATING ACCIDENT........AND IT WASN'T JACK THE RIPPER...............IT WAS TURKEY KNAPP"



"LIFELESS EYES LIKE A DOLLS EYES......."

 

[Dean Cooper]

Haha, This is a great thread
Dean

 

[Craig S]

Do not meddle in the affairs of Turkey Knapp, for it is subtle and quick to anger!

 

[Wayne Bundrick]

Do not meddle with the audio of Turkey Knapp, for it is subtle and he carries a musket.