Do guys really welcome women into the world of HT? (1 Viewer)

[Deane Johnson]

Pamela:
It's really great you started this thread. The only requirement I know of for participation is just being interested.
My wife got interested almost from the beginning and now is almost a bigger fan than I. Here's what she did with "her" living room.
http://www.kathiejohnson.com/HomeTheater.html
Is that proof women can get very involved? Notice who's name is the domain name.
She believes strongly that women who take the position that it's "his" hobby or that it's for men only, are cheating themselves out of a lot of enjoyment.
Deane

 

[Janna S]

I, for one, love men who can spell . . . which leaves more than a few of the guys in this thread out!

 

[Cees Alons]

Cees

 

[Iain Lambert]

Agreeing with most here, I come here to chat about films and games, not to chat up fellow members. Like TheoGB I'm pretty anti-lad. But then, my fiancee's two favorite bands are Radiohead and Blur...

Actually, having just come back from a brief browse through Edge's gaming forum its a blessed relief to be away from the teenage boy/lad mentality again. I think we do pretty well, all concerned, not least because we have great mods who keep a lid on the excesses that occasionally happen (generally in After Hours, it seems). But then we also have all sorts of interesting discussions here as well - the couple of recent weirdness vs. science talks have been great, in particular.

 

[Iain Lambert]

Stacie - "I'm a library paraprofessional".
Why do I have this vision of someone driving mobile library van like its an ambulance, rushing to get that copy of 'The Lord Of The Rings - The Two Towers' to confused moviegoers that can't understand why the film has just ended?

 

[Ken_McAlinden]

I, for one, love men who can spell . . .

Oui love ewe, two.
Of course, grammar should count as well as spelling, unless one should unintentionally suggest to people that yes, he has affection for two sheep.
Regards,

 

[Bill Catherall]

I'm sorry to take this thread on a wild tangent, but the subject came up here and I just can't let it go...

As for Ritalin, unfortunately yes. Apparently it's easier to drug a kid than provide parental guidance and discipline

Max, Julie - I like you two and I usually agree with what you write (although you may not always agree with me ), but I must respectfully say...stick to what you know.
No it isn't true that most American parents "dose their kids up." That was the case during the 80's but is no longer practiced as much. Because of that, Ritalin now has a bad name.
Parental guidance and discipline alone cannot help a child deal with their ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder). Especially when the child is at a young age when ADHD typically manifests itself for the first time.
My son is 5 and goes to kindergarten. Before school he just always seemed like a very excitable, active boy. He was properly disciplined and was a very good kid. But once he started school he started showing problems. He's still a good kid, but he can't sit still and stay on task. This isn't a new problem...it's just that sitting as long as is required in school was never required of him before. So the teacher, knowledgeable about dealing with children with ADHD, took measures to keep him in control and on task. But to do so she had to separate him from the other children and put him at a table all by himself. It worked but he was very unhappy with it. He began to hate school and complained of not having any friends.
We took him to a doctor to have him checked out thoroughly. We didn't want to just assume it was ADHD when it could have been a learning disability or poor hearing or eyesight. The doctor did a full physical exam and gave him some "intelligence tests" appropriate for his age. We and the teacher filled out a questionnaire regarding his behavior and activity. The doctor's diagnosis?...He's perfectly healthy and very intelligent...he has ADHD.
So what's the solution? I was dead set against just drugging him up. I've heard all the horror stories of Ritalin and didn't like its reputation. I (like Julie) thought that if my son was just taught to know how to deal with his problem then he can just learn better self control. But on the other hand I also knew a few kids who were on medication and it was greatly helping them. I was torn. The doctor, fortunately, was not biased towards just medication. He gave us truthful pros and cons to available treatments and left the final decision up to us.
Basically the only way to effectively deal with it is with counseling or medication (or both). We could either spend a ton of money on a counselor that may or may not work. And if it did work it would take a long time. Meanwhile, our son would continue to have a difficult time in school and he would get behind, which could domino into a lifetime of scholastic problems. Or we could try out medication and see if it helps him. We decided to try out the medication, but with no commitment to keep him on it.
The first trial was with the smallest available dose of Addorall (a cousin to Ritalin) and it didn't have any effect on him. So the doctor doubled the dosage and WOW, what a difference. It did give him insomnia though so we had to alter the dosage a little bit again, but overall he's had a significant improvement. He is doing much better at school now. He actually likes going (he used to complain endlessly about it). He's been moved back to a table with other kids. He's also usually the first one at his table to finish his work. It's a complete 180 degree change. He's not a zombie...in fact he's still quite playful, but he's more controllable because he now has better control of himself.
We don't intend to keep him on the medication forever...although it may be necessary. Some kids need to stay on medication into adulthood. But because of the medication my son has been able to make some improvements and is more positive and confident about his abilities. He can now do things he was completely incapable of before...and it wasn't because of lack of discipline or parental guidance. It's because of a chemical imbalance. Just like with depression or anxiety, not all ADHD cases can be successfully treated with counseling alone. As he ages we will continue to reevaluate his condition and continue to teach him about his problem. I also know kids who have successfully been taken off medication...not because they don't need it, but because they've learned to deal with it. But at a young age it's impossible. And according to our doctor, most of the medical community is no longer handing out Ritalin like candy. (He once had a teacher bring in her entire classroom for Ritalin and he threw her out!)
Now back on topic ...my wife isn't into home theater, but if we had the money she'd let me buy whatever I want. Yes, I'd welcome her in if she was interested. I try to get her excited about it, but she just doesn't care. Well see how much she "doesn't care" when I build a dedicated room that will just blow her away! (If the finances ever allow for it. :frowning: )

 

[Max Knight]

I think that guys welcome anyone who is genuinely interested. There are plenty of guys out there who really don't understand why we are so into OAR, or who think that Bose is a great speaker. If a woman happens to be interested great, she's another person to discuss my favorite subject with!

-Max

 

[Adil M]

I don't give a flying fu if your a woman or not. If you could just prove to me w/o a doubt that wiring does or doesn't make a difference, towers or bookshelves?, and what has happened to the movies nowadays, I'd be happy.

Oh, and to the original topic:

1. Your welcome.

2. Some guys do and some guys don't. Lots of guys and lots of girls.

 

[Mark Zimmer]

I tend to welcome women into the world of HT because it helps me feel less like a pathetic loser geek if one of my interests is shared by normal people.

 

[Pamela]

Interesting answers. I have to agree with Julie and Janna that coming on the boards and being hit upon is a not a desirable thing. I could not have put it more eloquently. Besides, why would I be interested in any man who pisses his money away on HT equipment?
Deane-
Dang, that is one awesome home theater. Kudos to your wife (and you, too)!
Donald-
My system is quite humble.
Onkyo 898
Denon DCM-350 CD player
Sony 560 DVD player
Hitatchi 43FDX10B RPTV
Mains: Paradigm Studio 40s
Rears: Paradigm Mini Monitors
Center: Studio CC
Sub:Velodyne CHT 12
I just started a bedroom system with an Onkyo 696, a low-end Sony CD player and Polk RT25i speakers. Will be upgrading those speakers ASAP.
I know I have a long way to go on my system, but I've only been at this for two years. I plan on adding an external amp and upgrading speakers and sub and DVD player and.... It never ends, does it?

 

[Steve Christou]

I'd love to see more women on the HTF interested in the same hobby as me (eeee was that good grammar? hmmmm), makes a change from my private life, my young Germanic girly isn't all that impressed with my paraphernalia (hey I'm talking about my Home Theater equipment, ok?!!), and she wonders when I'm going to grow out of it (evil snigger), she got very angry once and told me I had to choose between my DVDs and her, I got emotional and kissed her goodbye, I started helping her with her coat when she gave me a kick in the nuts and told me she was just joking, aaaah true love!!
LARGE SIGNATURE PHOTO OF MEMBERS EQUIPMENT REMOVED.

 

[Ryan Wright]

Gender and sex ought to be unimportant in most enterprises, and being "attractive" in the course of any given activity is almost always irrelevant and distracting to the activity and more bother than it's worth.

So it's a catch-22 type of situation. If most women really feel this way, no wonder few participate in men's hobbies. Most men dream of a woman who is into their hobbies, so when she shows an interest (especially on a large online forum), she is swamped with unwanted attention. In doing so, they (men) actually drive women who might otherwise be interested away.

Wow. I've learned something new today.

 

[Janna S]

I think you got it, Ryan. But a caveat: It's not for me to say that most women feel this way.

However, it is absolutely true that in the course of my ordinary life, and in the lives of most of my friends, male and female, we sleep, eat breakfast, do dishes, put gas in the car, shovel the walk, feed and bathe and chauffeur and teach the kids, drive or ride or bike or walk to work, put in long hours at work, shop for groceries, pay bills, go to movies, care for our yards and houses and elderly parents and friends, surf the net, go to board meetings and council meetings and PTA meetings and church, fix the plumbing, change the tires, read books, watch (or play) games, get raises, get fired, win the Nobel prize, bury the dog, travel to Paris, break the vacuum cleaner, and on and on and on - and these activities aren't based on gender or sexual activity or physical attraction.

This is life, most of which we don't spend hunting or chasing mates or sexual partners or obsessing about what we look like. This is real life, in all its mundane glory, and it's full and rich and we live it as people - granted, as people with sexual lives, but not as people for whom "gettin' it on" and "is he (or she) watching me?" or "could I get lucky with him (or her)?" are our biggest interests.

This pedestrian, unsexy, boring and grownup view of things may be horrifying and depressing and wrong - to some men? Most men? All men? Some women? All women? Hell, I don't know. I am just me. And I love every bit of it, this real life, the pain and the sorrow and the boredom as much as the pleasure and the joy.

 

[RobertR]

It's not for me to say that most women feel this way

Thank God not all do, else no man would dare show any interest in any woman in any "mundane" (ie social) situation. Sounds rather boring.

 

[TheoGB]

That's right, Pamela. Your system's pretty humble. I mean compare it to my home theatre: A portable DVD player and a 24" Sony Widescreen TV...

 

[Patrick Sun]

Rule of thumb: treat each poster as a person who shares a common interest as you. Leave all the pick-up lines in the chatrooms/bars.

 

[Max Leung]

Patrick, don't forget pickup lines at:
- the grocery store
- book store
- film festival party
- food court
- fast food restaurant
- restaurant (you picking up the waitress or vice versa)
- library
- home theater store (seriously a female customer was hitting on me while her husband stepped away for a few moments!)
I'd have to disagree with Janna: it is incredibly surprising where/when people will (unconsciously) seek a mate. You only have to open your eyes a little and you will see a whole new world out there. I've seen it myself every time I venture out of my house. It is clearly more frequent in places with more specialized interests (bookstores, festivals, museums, etc.) than in others (grocery stores, gas stations, convenience stores).
It's a sexual world out there, if you look with anthropologist (or even primatologists) eyes! But don't let it bother you...it doesn't bother any of the people in it.

 

[Janna S]

Max - my point is that many, maybe most people consciously are not (or are no longer) seeking a mate, or a quick fuck, for that matter. The people who are ALWAYS seeking one or the other (or both) often fail because they can't hear any lines but their own.

 

[Bill Catherall]

I'd have to disagree with Janna...

Somehow I knew you would Max...I just knew you would.