divorce..

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Chad Isaacs, Nov 29, 2001.

  1. Chad Isaacs

    Chad Isaacs Supporting Actor

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    Ok,I am sure some of you remember my wife left the kids and I for another man back in May.

    Well,we are finally getting a divorce.I am fine with it now,guess I had to wait until I was ready.What do I need to do.She is not wanting to take the kids at all,we have nothing of any real value,other than personal value.She said she wont take my computer or my "home theater",I told her if she did,I would take her car.Her car is an old geo prisim(1990ish) but she loves that car more than her kids..

    So,whats the easiest route through this?the quickest route?
     
  2. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

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  3. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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  4. Darren H

    Darren H Second Unit

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    Chad, I'm really sorry to hear that. I was just thinking about you the other day. I never posted to the last thread, but I followed it closely. I don't have any advice for you about the divorce, but you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Take care.
     
  5. Stephen L

    Stephen L Second Unit

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    Chad sorry to hear this. Brad's answer of a lawyer is correct ,eventhough she says she does not want the kids or anything else make sure you do get legalcustody of your kids and to spell clear what is to be hers & yours.Goodluck to you and your kids through this awful time .
     
  6. Paul Jenkins

    Paul Jenkins Supporting Actor

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    some friends of ours are going through the same thing. definitely get a lawyer, my wife and her friends are all attorneys here in Dallas, and given that they all work part-time or for themselves, they keep their rates very reasonable. If you are in Dallas, email me, otherwise, try to find attorneys that are in the same situation as my wife, they will save you a lot of money and are really doing it just for the love of law, not for the money [although, sometimes I wish she WOULD do it for the money [​IMG]]
     
  7. Bill Cowmeadow

    Bill Cowmeadow Second Unit

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    If she doesn't want to share the kids, make sure you get child support out of her. She has to pay, it's the law. And don't try to do any of this without a lawyer, it would be the biggest mistake of your life.

    My 2 cents

    While you're at it with the lawyer, have him bring suit against the asshole the ex ran off with, 'Alienation of Affection' That should scare the crap out of the dick. You don't have to go through with the suit, but it would give you some thing to chuckle about a few years from now.

    Bill
     
  8. Chad Isaacs

    Chad Isaacs Supporting Actor

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    Holadem,yeah,we bought a new house a little over a year ago..no flooding that I recall,other than the little ones leaving the tub running [​IMG] lucky for me the house was in her name,the kids and I moved to an apartment in october,she moved out of the house in may,as far as I know it is still sitting there and the bank is foreclosing on it.Why was it not in my name you ask?Well,I have been a stay at home dad for the past 3 years,the lender said we would have a hard time getting approved with me not having an income....her loss,not mine.
    I was supposed to go today to see about legal aid,right now it is about all I can afford but my daughter had to stay home sick from school so I did not make it,I am supposed to go back tuesday.
    Child support..Since she left,she has been paying $150 a week for both kids.she says she will continue to do so,but I will make it legal.That way if she does not...SHE WILL.She just started taking the kids for me everyother weekend,which was/is nice because I am pretty much with them 24/7,not that I do not love them to death and I would not trade them for all the moon but I need a bit of time just for me,time to go to a movie or go to a bar with my buddies.But I do not know how long that will last,it appears that her lover does not like kids,hers or anybody elses and complained alot about them after they left.
    Luckily,for me...and the kids..I woke up in the middle of the night about 2 months ago and realized that no matter what happens,I/we are going to be ok.Since then things have been alot better around here.When she is around(which aint anymore than she has to be) I dont fight with her anymore,I just kinda go off into my own little world and let her visit with the kids.She is finally starting to get her stuff out of my place,I was trying to be the nice guy so if she did try to stir up somthing in court she would not have too much to say,unless she lies...which would not totally suprise me.
    I dreaded thanksgiving,I feared I would be depressed all day,but i wasent,luckily my family was here and I had a friend over and she was not even brought up,except by the kids...THey still want mommy to come home,I guess they always will.I try to explain to them that she is not,but thats not an easy thing to do esp. for a 6 and soon to be 4 year old...both are disabled.
    Thanks for the support,I can certainly use it!
     
  9. Brad_W

    Brad_W Screenwriter

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    Chad, that must be/was very difficult. Did you see any signs before hand that she may be leaving you or seeing someone else?
    I wish it were still legal to shoot your wife if you caught her with another man romantically, but that's just me [​IMG]
     
  10. Steve Schaffer

    Steve Schaffer Producer

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    Chad,
    You are going to be ok, your kids are going to be ok. That is the most important thing to remember.
    As others have said get a lawyer. Don't sign anything you don't understand. Do not let her lawyer handle everything. No matter how amicable things seem do not trust your ex regarding anything to do with custody or finances.
    I've been through 2 divorces, one from a class-A -itch whom I haven't seen or heard from since 6 months after she got my last support check, and the second from a woman who's still my best friend in the world.
    Growing up, my dad and stepmom (whom we loved as if she were our real mom) got divorced when I was 17 and my brother was 13. My dad got custody, by mutual agreement between them and did the single parent thing for a couple of years. The main thing I remember was that no matter what was going on between the 2 of them throughout the whole process and aftermath, he never said one negative thing about her in our presence, nor did she say anything bad about him. I can't tell you how much this helped us kids get through it.
     
  11. Jeff Kleist

    Jeff Kleist Executive Producer

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    Don't forget to get the HT protection clause in writing!!!
    Oh, and I guess the kids are important too [​IMG]
     
  12. PatrickM

    PatrickM Screenwriter

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    Chad,

    My best wishes to you and your children. Situations like this are never easy. Keep close to your family because they will always be there and give your kids your love and everything will work out.

    Better times are ahead,

    Patrick
     
  13. Carlo Medina

    Carlo Medina Executive Producer

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    Best of luck to you, Chad. I do remember your original post and I was hoping that you'd find the strength to do what needed to be done.

    I do agree with the "good lawyer" recommendation. The legal system is not something you want to go messing around with if you're not a professional.

    Again, best wishes.
     
  14. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    Chad, sorry to hear things didn't work out between you and the wife. Hopefully, you'll meet someone else. Good luck!
     
  15. Denward

    Denward Supporting Actor

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    That sucks Chad. I feel for you. A few years ago, my wife and I went through counseling and eventually decided to separate in mid December. The holidays were pretty gloomy, but fortunately, we got back together a few months later, and everything has been much better since.

    Chad, I know this probably doesn't help, but she sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do. I can't believe people who walk away from their kids. What really sucks is that the kids sound like they want her around but she doesn't want to be there for them. Damn, I'm getting mad just writing this. I'd better quit.
     
  16. Chad Isaacs

    Chad Isaacs Supporting Actor

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    Thanks gang,I will keep you posted.
     
  17. Ron-P

    Ron-P Producer

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    Wow Chad, I followed your last post a while back and am saddened to hear about the divorce. My prayers are with you and your children. I have a 4 year old girl myself and could not image haveing to tell her that mommy is not coming home, that has got to be so hard. Everything will be OK, you have your kids and they have you. Nothing else is more important.
    Peace Out~[​IMG]
     
  18. Ryan Wright

    Ryan Wright Screenwriter

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    Chad,
    Has either of you filed for divorce? IF not, get down there and do it now. I mean today, if at all possible. From what I know about divorce, there is a certain upper hand to being the first to file.
    Make sure you get custody of the kids. Legal custody. And force her to pay child support. If I were you, I would obtain custody first, THEN seek child support. Why? When she finds out how much child support is going to cost her, she may try to fight you for the kids simply to force you to support her. Most courts will grant her custody if she puts up any sort of a fight whatsoever. The system is heavily gender biased; men rarely get custody of their children.
    Get her to sign papers granting you full custody AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
    Then go for child support. It's going to be a hell of a lot more than $150 a week. Try $500/month per child, plus child care costs. It's all based on income, so if she makes a lot more than you, she could easily find herself paying for 90% of child care. Assuming you've got 2 kids, she could be looking at $1500/mo easily into your pocket. See why I said get custody first? If she knew how much she would be forced to pay, she may try to take the kids from you, and that would mean YOU would be paying HER. The system is bullshit but that's how it works.
    A good friend of mine went through a divorce a year and a half ago. His wife fell in love with a thrice divorced, sick/dirty womanizer over the Internet, then began ignoring her kids all day - she was a stay at home mom - while she talked on the phone to him. I'm talking 6+ hour conversations, long distance. She stopped feeding the kids - he would come home and they would tell him how hungry they were because they didn't get lunch because mommy was on the phone all day or on the computer. He is an excellent father. They divorced. She got the house. She got the kids. She got most of the belongings. Everything he had worked so hard for over the past 10 years of marriage was basically handed to her and he was ordered to pay her some $2500/mo in child support and alimony.
    Like I said, the law doesn't work for us men. If she is cooperating, get moving with the courts now. If you can get her to sign anything, do it. Get an attorney before she does and hopefully your attorney can talk her into just going along for the ride. If she gets an attorney of her own, she will be told about all of the rights she has and pressured to exercise them. If she wanted to get nasty, it could be real hell on you - and worse for your kids.
    That said, I wish you luck. I'm sorry you are in this situation - it shouldn't be this way. Good luck.
    EDIT: You should also be able to get alimony from her, especially if she makes decent money. GET A LAWYER. [​IMG]
     
  19. DennisHP

    DennisHP Second Unit

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    This could also go under the post "Irrevelant Fact of the Day", however, it seems appropriate here: 80% of today's divorces are generated by women. I learned that during my second, wife generated, divorce. I guess us men ARE all pigs (according to women).

    Good Luck. It'll take a bit, but you'll feel like you're better off after a while.
     
  20. Scott Strang

    Scott Strang Screenwriter

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