Did I do the right thing when my mom had her stroke and heart surgery?....

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by StephenA, May 28, 2002.

  1. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    My mom had a stroke and heart surgery, and was only given a 30 to 40% chance of living. When this happened back during the holidays of 1997 I left school during my senior year of high school to take care of her. from November of 1997 to about March of 1998 I was out of school helping my mom in every way she needed. She finally got better, and said it was me who helped her get better. I stayed with her night and day talking to her, trying to make her laugh, getting her to take her medicine, feeding her, keeping her entertained, and whatever else. Throughout all this, my dad was pissed that i left school, and kept telling me to go back. My mom is more important to me than school, so that's why I left to help her. I think would be selfish to finish school, when my mom needed me most. When my mom was better, I went back to school. It took me another year to graduate. I'm glad I helped my mom, cuz she's pretty much back to normal now. She always says if it wasn't for me, she would have given up.
     
  2. Greg_Y

    Greg_Y Screenwriter

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    Only you can answer the question. If you are happy as you are now, and are content with the choices you made, then I would say you surely made the right decision(s).
     
  3. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    I feel I did. I think most would do the same, but I could be mistaken. I feel family is more important than anything.
     
  4. Jeff Ulmer

    Jeff Ulmer Producer

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    Ultimately, as adults, it is up to us to decide on anything that we do in this world. You made a decision to help your mom, which I think is honorable, and it cost you an extra year in school, a fair trade off. What your dad thinks isn't irrelevant, but I would hope his concern was for your future, and not creating a setback that could hurt you. You choose what to do with your life. Other people will have opinions, which you can agree with or not. No one can judge whether you made the right choice, as at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with your decisions.
     
  5. Kirk Gunn

    Kirk Gunn Screenwriter

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    That's a strong lesson few schools teach. While you were kept back a year from graduation, in a few more years this slight delay will mean nothing. You've got 10 times the character of most folks your age.
     
  6. Rain

    Rain Producer

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  7. Andrew_Sch

    Andrew_Sch Cinematographer

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    Stephen, if what your mom says is true, then you basically saved her life, and I think everyone would agree that your mom's life (or anyone's for that matter) is more important than a lousy year of lousy high school.
     
  8. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    I'm really not one for words or to show my feelings. I try to be there when family members need me though. I've never really said that I loved family members to them, but I do show it sometimes in what I do for them. I don't know why I have such a problem psychologically with telling people how I feel.

    I'm glad my mom got better, and would do the same thing again if I had to. I'd do it for my sister, grandmother, and the wife and kids I might have. I try doing things for my dad, but he makes it hard sometimes.

    Thanks everyone for replying.
     
  9. AjayM

    AjayM Screenwriter

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    As everybody else has said, I wouldn't loose a seconds sleep over that decision. That time you spent with her you will both cherish and probably opened the door to being able to spend more time with her. If you had decided to do something different you may have lived with regret for a long time.

    School will always be there, your parents will not.

    Andrew
     
  10. Scott Merryfield

    Scott Merryfield Executive Producer

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  11. Paul D Young

    Paul D Young Second Unit

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    Of course you did the right thing! I see everyone here pretty much agrees. I think you will always be glad that you made the correct decision.
     
  12. Cam S

    Cam S Screenwriter

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    I would have done the exact same thing as you did. My parents are more important than that sort of stuff. You have all the time in your life to finish stuff, but once you lose someone, that's forever.
     
  13. Paul_D

    Paul_D Cinematographer

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    Its been said, but that's an important sacrifice you've made. Well done! A good decison IMO.
     
  14. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    i wish i had your foresight stephen.
    my mom also was not well (triple-bypass surgery) and i definitely did not do the right thing.
    i was too concerned with hanging out with my friends, partying and doing my own thing. even though i knew she was sick i never really called. i never told her how important she was to me. i never told her thanks for everything. everytime she harped on me for something or tried to be too dominant in my life i turned her away. i yelled at her.
    i was not a very good son. then the last time i saw her i was in a bad mood and didn't even wave goodbye.
    i mentioned this in another thread already, but my relationship with my mom and how i ended it is the single biggest regret i have.
    i would do just about anything for one more chance. i really blew it big time...
    personally, i'd like to congratulate and applaud your decision. [​IMG]
     
  15. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    Sorry to hear that Ted. It must be hard to think about that.
     
  16. Tiffany A

    Tiffany A Stunt Coordinator

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    Stephen...what a wonderful Son you are...your Mother must be so proud of you!

    Ted...don't beat yourself up...we all have our strengths and weaknesses...and I am sure that you were very good to your Mom...in other ways...

    Wish we all had 20/20 foresight!!!!
     
  17. Henry Carmona

    Henry Carmona Screenwriter

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    I feel you did nothing for yourself and thats good.

    Too often in this society people only act on something if they stand to gain from it.

    Your unselfishness is something many of us do not have, and I commend you for it.

    Your mom benefited greatly from it and i strongly believe that what goes around comes around.

    Your mother has a great son!
     
  18. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    tiffany -
    thanks for the kind words. it helps. :b
    [edit] btw - check out my response to your other post. wink wink nudge nudge [​IMG]
     
  19. Matt_R

    Matt_R Stunt Coordinator

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    Of course you did the right thing. Think about all the sacrifices she made for you when you were growing up.

    My mother just passed away last month from Melanoma (skin cancer) and I'm happy to have helped her as much as I could too. I was there holding her hand as she took her last breath and I'll never forget it for the rest of my life... She suffered for 4 months but fought the cancer for 16 years. Anytime I feel tired, lazy, or unmotivated to do something, I just think about everything she went through and how hard to fought and tried to move on.

    Mother/son relationship is a special one...
     
  20. Bill_D

    Bill_D Supporting Actor

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    Definitely the right thing to do.

     

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