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Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by AllanN, Nov 4, 2002.
Although all I could think of while reading that was:
Thanks for the laughs! Also reminds me of a lot of Woody Allen dialogue.
Kinda reminded me of the Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy:
Modern elevators are strange and complex entities. The ancient electric winch and ''maximum-capacity-eight-persons'' jobs bear as much relation to a Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Happy Vertical People Transporter as a packet of mixed nuts does to the entire
west wing of the Sirian State Mental Hospital.
This is because they operate on the curios principle of ''defocused temporal perception''. In other words they have the capacity to see dimly into the immediate future, which enables the elevator to be on the right floor to pick you up even before you knew you wanted it, thus eliminating all the tedious chatting, relaxing, and making friends that people were previously forced to do whist waiting for elevators.
Not unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up and down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of existential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and finally took to squatting in basements sulking.
An impoverished hitch-hiker visiting any planets in the Sirius star system these days can pick up easy money working as a counsellor for neurotic elevators.
For those with a yen for internet zen, this link seems to still work
Don't you people recognize Marvin the paranoid android when you nmeet him 'in person' ?
If it wasn't him, it must at least be some relation, don't you think?
Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you ask me: can I pick up that piece of paper?...
Yes, the '... brain the size of the universe...' line is direct from the voice-box of Marvin.