Critique this comic strip for me... (1 Viewer)

[ClintS]

I like the modified second the best. Lettering was MUCH easier to read. I like the style of the artwork also.

 

[Craig S]

I found strip # 2 funny as well. The new lettering is easier to read, but the original had more ... personality.

Re: Matt's suggestions. Two current strips that do the multiple/odd angle thing on a regular basis are "9 Chickweed Lane" and "Rose Is Rose". The Jan 1, 2004 editions of both are good examples.

 

[Mark Zimmer]

Well, I laughed at both strips and I'm a tough sell. I laugh at maybe one out of 20 strips in the daily paper on average every other day, as an indication. (but I'm from Wisconsin too, so maybe that explains it)

I know the trend is to used photocopied art, but reusing the 1st panel in episode 2 for the last panel helps contribute to the static look. Also, the skeletal hand holding the newspaper doesn't look right. Needs some work, but I like the skull heads in the 2d and 3d panels; very expressive.

But you might be onto something here.

 

[Magnus T]

The 2nd one was really funny. Keep'em coming!

 

[MarkHastings]

Don't ever think of a computer as a "cop out". The only thing you have to remember is to use the computer as a 'tool' (like a pen) and NOT as a means of making production faster (like a stamp).

I mean, your original #2 had a great sense of style in the lettering. I liked the boldness and sizes of the different words. The computer text is so symetrical and rigid that (even though it's easier to read) it gets boring very quickly and has no personality.

Even though I liked the hand written version better, I still wouldn't stop using the computer. Just try to make the computer text look less 'stiff' and more loosely based on your writing style.

Keep up the good work, the first two are pretty funny.

 

[Joe S]

I like the first one, funnier than some of the comics in the paper. The second one wasn't bad, but it just didn't strike me as laugh-out-loud funny, but I definately want to see more.

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Thanks you all for the input... I've got one in the hopper at the moment that I've started inking. I should have it up here on Tuesday. I'll be out of town the next few days.

Beyond that.. I've got to come up with some ideas. I think I've got one or two more floating around. I'm kinda exploring the idea of Mike and Tim having jobs... and kicking around the idea of a neighbor stopping by. I don't want to reveal too much.. because what I think is funny may not be funny to everyone else.



It's funny.. the day I looked at both of these strips (01/10) you couldn't get much more static as far as images.. but, I know what you mean.

Thanks again for the feedback... I'll try to pound out a few more.

 

[MarkHastings]

I think they need to go to Blockbuster or Wal-Mart to get DVD's.

I'm sure there'd be tons of hilarity there.

p.s. Mike can be pro-OAR and Tim can be fine with P&S since he is missing his head, he won't mind missing part of the film.

 

[Micheal]

Dave, I love it! Especially the second one, very nice work!
The more grim the better....

 

[Kevin Royal]

Not a big comic fan by any means, so I can't critique style, lettering, etc., but i liked the first one more than the second one. I just prefer characters to stay within their world, sort of not break the "fourth wall" as per drama, but that's just me.

I don't like the name either, seems sort of forced and off-putting, mostly the "seemingly endless adventures" part.

But I like what you've done, good luck with this, I wish you all the success in the world. Take Care,

Kevin

 

[MickeS]

I didn't like the second one as much as the first one. Isn't it a bit too early to start involving yourself in the strip, I thought most comic strip artists only did that when they ran out of ideas for the characters?

I like the lettering in the modified second strip better than the original lettering. I also don't mind the static "camera angle", some of my favorite comic strips (like "Red Meat" that I mentioned, and "Life in hell") use static angles almost exclusively.

I still want to see more.

/Mike

 

[Ted Lee]

i actually like your original writing better. it has more of a "rougher" edge to it and seems to fit the style of the animation better.

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Those are two of my favorites also. So, there's probably a lot of inspiration there.

Anyway... here's episode 3.

I think it's cleaner than the previous two. I've scanned it from a larger original.

Thanks again guys, for all the input.

 

[wally]

Like 'em both. First iteration of the second strip is better


I agree about the title something missing. Grunge/Hand drawn look is good IMO.

 

[MartinTeller]

You misspelled persistent.

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Um...I don't know what you're talking about... looks okay to me.

:b

 

[Jerry Almeida]

I liked them all. I laughed out loud at the first two, and smiled at the third. (It came off as a little too wordy)



I wouldn't worry about what other people think is funny, stick with what you like. It may not make everyone laugh, but I think it will come off more genuine. Also, you'll probably be surprised to find out how many people have the same sense of humor as you, and will "get" your jokes.

 

[John Gates]

I like the fact that you can actually coax an "expression" out of a skeletal head. Great raw artwork talent! You are a good visual story-teller.

Consider renaming the strip to something like "Life After Death" or "Bones." I think that would have better overall appeal.

Interesting concept. Needs more characters. Keep working!

John G

 

[Ricardo C]

I like all three (and I don't usually laugh out loud at comic strips, which I did with yours ), keep 'em coming!

Might want to start a website for Mike and Tim

 

[Dave Poehlman]

I'm still kicking around the idea of a different name. The "seemingly endless adventures" was meant to sound a little self-depricating. Thanks for the ideas.