Commentary Tracks for really BAD movies! (1 Viewer)

[Dennis Pagoulatos]

I love commentary tracks...I love having them on a DVD...but how many have I personally listened to? Not too many. Well, I stumbled on this article on The Onion which rips on commmentary tracks for notoriously bad movies. Really funny stuff!

Check here!

Any other commentary tracks worth their weight in comic gold? I'd actually buy some bad DVD's to listen to some of this stuff (filmmakers in total denial of how crappy their film is, etc...)

-Dennis

 

[Tino]

Very funny article Dennis, however I think you would get more responses in the software section.

I love The Onion!

 

[Stephen R]

The director's commentary on the Masters of the Universe disc is pretty hilarious. The thing is total camp yet he talks in total seriousness about his shots as if he had directed a European art house film.

 

[Matt Stone]

however I think you would get more responses in the software section.

There's actually already a thread on the topic in the Software Forum...

http://www.hometheaterforum.com/htfo...ion+commentary

 

[Dennis Pagoulatos]

D'oh! sorry about that guys...if this thread's different enough, moderators please move or merge with the other thread!

Thanks!

-Dennis

 

[EricW]

the two commentaries that come to mind are Street Fighter (Van Damned version) on LD (is it out on DVD?) and on a lesser note, the Lost in Space remake, where the commentators kind of campaigned for a chance to do a sequel.

 

[MatthewLouwrens]

I also like the original article:
Commentary Tracks of the Dead

 

[Kevin M]

Uh Oh...some members might not like this one.

SUSPECT

Zardoz (1974) (Buy It!)

CRIMES
• Creating a high-minded, incomprehensible science-fiction scenario packed with floating stone heads that vomit guns, mustachioed villains in towel-hats, a magic ring that explains the world, and topless horseback-riding
• Saddling star Sean Connery with a ponytail and a loincloth
• Being otherwise totally weird

DEFENDER
Director John Boorman

TONE OF COMMENTARY
Warm and gracious. As if narrating a home movie, Boorman notes his personal connection to the places, people, and props onscreen. ("That horse you just saw was called Snowy. My children rode him for many years. Not bare-breasted, of course.") His tour-guide tactics are especially amusing when paired with images of a grimacing stone head floating across the screen shouting, "The penis is evil! Go forth and kill!"

WHAT WENT WRONG
Sounding embarrassed, Boorman says, "I think the film was probably too ambitious for the amount of money that we had. I'm astonished at my hubris... A lot of this can be pretty laughable, really, if you don't enter into the spirit of the thing." Later, during Connery's trip-out scene, Boorman adds, "I'd cut this down a bit if I was doing it again. You can fast-forward this if you want to."

COMMENTS ON THE CAST
Connery stayed at Boorman's home during the shoot, and Boorman mostly talks about his manners: "He was the perfect lodger. He'd always turn the lights off." Connery even drove himself to the set and offered to split his driving per diem with Boorman. As for leading lady Charlotte Rampling, who engages in some tepidly sexy make-out sessions with the hero, "Charlotte was disappointed... She was looking forward to being raped by Sean Connery."

INEVITABLE DASH OF PRETENSION
Where to begin? How about "It's a kind of allegory for the notion of the haves and the have-nots, taken to a kind of extreme degree." Or "So here's this kind of Noah's Ark." Or "This sweat-licking scene was like something from Greek mythology... Wasn't it the goddess Isis?" Eventually, while laying out the film's complex philosophical underpinning, Boorman says, "You could say there were too many ideas in this picture."

THE COMMENTARY IN A NUTSHELL
"It was very difficult to get the Irish girls to expose their breasts."