Chit chat with people on the street. (1 Viewer)

[Ross Williams]

This comes up because I was just in the elevator with somebody who insisted on talking with me. About all I could manage was to smile and nod at their completely meaningless babble. Afterwards I felt so fake for even smiling at what they were saying. But if I hadn't had some sort of reaction I would have been really rude.

In general I try to avoid any conversation with people I don't know or am not dealing with in some other capacity. I'd much rather be left alone with my thoughts than talk to somebody in line at the grocery store, on the elevator or the street corner. I figure why bother talking to somebody I'll probably never see again in my life.

Am I a jerk for not wanting to conversate with my fellow humans? What do you guys do in these situations?

If you're one of these people that talk to unkown people, I don't mean to offend you. I'm not angry at these types, nor do I think they're doing something wrong. I'm just wondering what they get out of it.

 

[Philip_G]

Am I a jerk for not wanting to conversate with my fellow humans? What do you guys do in these situations?

YES
nah, actually I'm much the same way. I don't really like useless chit chat, probably because I can never come up with anything to say lol.
I usually feel the worst at the barber, they always want to chat and I never really feel like it.. so it's kind of an awkward silence.

 

[Jeffrey_Jones]

Ross,
I don't think you're a jerk...just anti-social I just noticed that you live in Seattle, so do I. For a city that most people consider fairly friendly, people here do seem to keep to themselves.
While I don't often engage strangers in short, useless chit-chat conversations, I will smile and say hello. I find it breaks the otherwise awkward silence...especially in elevators. I have always had a rule about no talking in elevators but a simple good morning or hello is the exception for me.
When I use to smoke I would talk to other smokers but I think that most smokers do this. Smoking was always a great way to meet strangers, too bad about that whole lung cancer thing.
- Jeff

 

[DaveF]

I appreciate your dis-interest in speaking to random people. I'm the same way. Still, I've worked to become better at chit-chat with strangers. In the process, I've met some interesting people, learned some new things, and had some surprisingly good conversations.

It's not always that interesting, but the highlights make it worth the effort to me.

 

[Pamela]

I am not into small talk at all. I'm very bad at it and it makes me uncomfortable. I, too, would prefer to be left alone. I try and wear my invisible "leave me alone" small talk armor whenever I'm out and about. Especially when I'm flying. There's nothing worse than being stuck next to someone with verbal diarrhea for five hours.

 

[Paul Richardson]

This is why I hate haircuts...the hairdresser always wants to have a conversation with me. If somebody opened up a "No Chit-Chat" hair salon, I would pay top dollar to get my hair cut there.

I have no interest in hearing some stranger's opinions on the weather. If that makes me an anti-social jerk, so be it.

 

[Dave Poehlman]

I don't talk to people because I know they are all out to get me.

Seriously, I guess I don't see the purpose of striking up a 30 second conversation in an elevator with someone who I will probably never see again in my life.... Now, if the elevator gets stuck... then we can talk.

 

[Bill Balcziak]

What a friendly bunch.

 

[DarrinH]

This is why I hate haircuts...the hairdresser always wants to have a conversation with me. If somebody opened up a "No Chit-Chat" hair salon, I would pay top dollar to get my hair cut there.
I have no interest in hearing some stranger's opinions on the weather. If that makes me an anti-social jerk, so be it.

This is why I go to beauty parlors or whatever you want to call them to get my haircuts. There is always an attempt to start conversation by the stylest but the stylest is always hot! At least the ones I pick anyway. Only time another woman can touch you other than your wife (except for nurses,doctors and dentists I guess)and its considered "marriage legal".

 

[teapot2001]

How about the dentist trying to chit chat with you when he/she is working inside your mouth? Is it some kind of joke they learn in dental school?

~T

 

[Dan B]

I guess I am one of the offenders who tends to talk to strangers. I live in a small town, though, so maybe that's different.
I do agree that it is annoying, however, in a situation where you can't get away such as the dentist or an airplane.
-Dan B

 

[MickeS]

Am I a jerk for not wanting to conversate with my fellow humans?

No, you're European.
Seriously, in Sweden and the other european countries I've been in, people don't chit-chat with strangers very much, at least not when I left 4 years ago.
I remember when I first moved here, we were at a restaurnat and my wife was talking to the waitress about something that didn't have anything to do with her order. I asked my wife "Do you know her?" and she said she didn't. I asked "Why were you talking to her then?". That was my first experience with something noticably different between Sweden and the US.
Is it rude not to talk about meaningless bullshit with a person you've never met before, and likely will never meet again? No, IMO not. I say "Thank you" "Hello" and "Goodbye" to the groecry store checkout person and other service people, but I have no reason to talk to them.
/Mike

 

[Dheiner]

Jesus, How do you folks meet people???

 

[Jon_Are]

There's nothing worse than being stuck next to someone with verbal diarrhea for five hours.

...unless it's being stuck next to someone with anal diarrhea for five hours.

Jon

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Perhaps what irritates me most is the initial talk-about-the-weather ice breaker. "Sure is hot today" or "cold enough for ya?"

Douglas Adams put it best when he said that humans have the inane ability to state the obvious.

Now, if someone stepped onto an elevator and spewed out some trivia, I might be interested. ie: "rats can't vomit".

I'd like to start a grass roots campaign for people to stop stating the obvious just for the purpose of making conversation. Next time you step onto an elevator or are sitting next to someone on an airplane. Throw out an obscure nugget of your knowlege.

 

[Ross Williams]

Jesus, How do you folks meet people???

Well I meet people through work, other friends, social events and such.

I'm not implying that I don't or you shouldn't talk to people you don't know. I'm all for that. It's just those meaningless ones, where you're next to someone for a minute or two. If I'm stuck on a plane with somebody for a few hours, I'm much more likely to talk to them. I usually avoid it, but it does happen.

 

[DennisHP]

People are too nice to strangers. We feel bad and feel as if we're being rude if we don't engage them in their trivial conversation. We don't "owe" them a conversation. I feel it's perfectly legal, within my rights and totally acceptable to me if I don't respond or act deaf. HOWEVER, if it's a nice looking female, I'll listen to anything she has to say and nod my head accordingly even at the most rediculous statements.

 

[Julie K]

No, it's not rude to wish to avoid idle chit-chat. But as for annoying, nothing beats random people you don't know who feel they must comment on something you're doing/buying. (I had a rant about this is a previous thread.)

I like the idea of responding with a meaningful/important little bit of trivia.

"Did you know that the facial mites living in your facial pores have no detectable anus?"

"Male blackbuck antelope construct large piles of dung and then lie on them in order to attract females."

"Some snakes will chase humans if they (the snakes) are observed while having sex."

This could be fun.

 

[Dave Poehlman]

There ya go, Julie!

By using statements like these, it will at least be a memorable conversation... and you might even learn something!

 

[MikeAlletto]

if it's a nice looking female

YES! I defintely decide who I'm going to talk to depending upon what they look like, how they are dressed and how they represent themselves. Yeah its wrong, but I don't care. I'll talk to or not talk to whoever I want.