Best Dumb Movie Quote - 'Con Air' (1 Viewer)

[Paul_D]

Even though the film is as cheesy as they come, its got some surprisingly good actors (which doesnt have any bearing on the quality of the performances in this case, which are dictated by the material), and John Malkovich has all of the juciest lines, including my all time favourite dumb action movie quote, from the man himself:
Santino: 'Have patience... they'll be here! (I dont know if thats totally right!)
The Virus: 'You know what happened to the last guy that told me to have patience: I burned him down and bagged his ashes!'
It makes me chuckle every time, because its just so stupid!
Foot note:
Dont you just want to kick Colm Meaney (that annoying FBI guy with the silver car) every time he speaks in this? (Its not him, its just his character)

 

[Paul_D]

Sorry for the double post, but the quote in #1 really needed a post of its own.
But you clearly did take offense? Even though no one ever stated that JP was a dumb movie, and that the post, along with the thread is clearly intended for pointing out dumb lines.
P.S. don't take this the wrong way John, just some friendly questioning.

 

[John^Lal]

i know, i am not taking it the wrong way...i just wanted to say nay to someone about a movie...cause the name of this thread is Bad Movie Quote thread. not Bad Quotes from movies thread. reading i take it as bad quotes from bad movies.

yes i did take offense to it, but i won't fret about it anymore than the 30 sec after i read it and reply.

 

[Chuck C]

"Talk about the WRONG stuff" -Armageddon

 

[Edwin-S]

Are you calling JP a dumb movie?!?!?!?

Well, I thought that Jurassic Park was a dumb movie. I had to fast forward through sections of it in order to get to scenes that were watchable. Thanks for letting me know that I don't know what I'm talking about. BTW it was still a dumb movie.

 

[Rob P S]

Cyrus Grissom: Guard Falzon?

Guard Falzon: What is it, Cyrus?

Cyrus Grissom: Oh, Stewardess? Stewardess? What's the in-flight movie today?

Guard Falzon: Well, I think you'll like it Cyrus. It's called I'll Never Make Love to a Woman on the Beach Again, and it's proceeded by the award-winning short, No More Steak For Me, Ever.

Cyrus Grissom: [Guard Falzon walks away chuckling,Cyrus mummbles] Funny fucker, aren't ya?

Guard Falzon: It smells like someone shit in your mouth.

Pinball: He told me he loved me.

 

[Richard Kim]

From X-Men:

Storm: Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

[Cyclops doesn't know if Logan's an imposter.]

Wolverine: It's me!

Cyclops: Prove it!

Wolverine: You're a dick.

Cyclops: Okay.

 

[ThomasC]

[Cyclops doesn't know if Logan's an imposter.]
Wolverine: It's me!
Cyclops: Prove it!
Wolverine: You're a dick.
Cyclops: Okay.

Dumb? I don't know. Hilarious? Definitely.

 

[Ernest Rister]

Jurassic Park is fun, but make no mistake, it also has some moments of pure grade-A homogenized pasteurized top-of-the-line crap dialogue...

"You can't think your way through this one, John. You'll have to feel it."

--Laura Dern, to Sir Richard Attenborough, in Jurassic Park

My favorite line of bad dialogue is from the Godfather of Bad Movies, Plan 9 From Outer Space...

COP

Modern Women...they've been like that all down through the ages.

 

[Edwin-S]

I like this gem from "The Two Towers."

"What madness drove them in there!" Gimli the Dwarf two minutes after surveying the site of a mass slaughter.

There is some ageless writing.

 

[Richard Kim]

I like this gem from "The Two Towers."

"What madness drove them in there!" Gimli the Dwarf two minutes after surveying the site of a mass slaughter.

There is some ageless writing.

Actually, Gimli's lines in the EE are much worse:

Gimli: Talking trees. What do trees have to talk about, hmm... except the consistency of squirrel droppings?

Gimli: He was already dead.

Legolas: He was twitching

Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe embedded in his nervous system.

 

[Edwin-S]

Those lines are definitely not very good, but at least they didn't make him look like a moron. The "what madness..." line made him look like he had an IQ of about 20.
The squirrel droppings line was coarse and unneeded.
The axe comment might have worked better if they had just used the term head or skull. Nervous system is too medical a term.

 

[Daniel DeLawter]

Sorry to be a complete donkey, but in Middle Earth, rumors of Fangorn Forest far out-terrified the threat posed by a troop of orcs.

 

[Ernest Rister]

Yet more proof of how Boyens and Walsh - in their words - "improved" Tolkien's writing.

(grrrrrr...)

 

[Edwin-S]

Are they comedy writers? Because this is one of the funniest things I've read. Tolkien probably did dozens rewrites before finally "finishing" his story, but a couple of screenwriters are "improving" his writing. That's a good one.
Having Gimli interrupt an important conversation with a burp, followed up by him continuing to chow down on a chicken leg is a real improvement to Tolkien's "mediocre" writing.

 

[Daniel DeLawter]

The Hobbits shared your view in the text:

'Lead on, Master Brandybuck!' said Pippin. 'Or lead back! We have been warned against Fangorn. But one so knowing will not have forgotten that.'

'I have not,' answered Merry; 'but the forest seems better to me, all the same, than turning back into the middle of a battle.'

Gimili did not:

'Then we must go in, too,' said Gimli. 'But I do not like the look of this Fangorn: and we were warned against it. I wish the chase had led anywhere else!'

'Then that is the most perilous wood in Middle-earth,' said Gimli. 'I should be grateful for the part they have played, but I do not love them. '

Nor Celeborn:

'Yet they should not go too far up that stream, nor risk becoming entangled in the Forest of Fangorn. That is a strange land, and is now little known. But Boromir and Aragorn doubtless do not need this warning.'

 

[Ernest Rister]

"Are they comedy writers? Because this is one of the funniest things I've read. Tolkien probably did dozens rewrites before finally "finishing" his story, but a couple of screenwriters are "improving" his writing. That's a good one."

You mean, you haven't listened to your commentary track of Fellowship: Extended Edition? It's towards the end -- Boyens and Walsh gloat out loud about how they - in their words - "improved" Tolkien's handling of Boromir's death scene. Peter Jackson, to his great credit, does not respond to these statements, and he quickly changes the subject.

 

[Edwin-S]

Those quotes are interesting because they show the concern that the characters had. The quote also shows how intelligent Gimli really was. In the book he was erudite. In the movie he is a near oaf.

I also notice that quote is basically him voicing his concern about going into the forest after them. He does not stupidly say "what madness drove them in there." Nor does he even question why they went in. He is merely stating why he has qualms about following them.

Those quotes show just how superior Tolkien's writing is compared to Boyens and Walsh: yet, they have the gall to claim that they "improved" Tolkien's writing.

 

[Edwin-S]

You caught me. I started listening to it, but I have not had time to finish it. Presently, I am in another city taking a course and my FOTR discs are back home. When I finally get home I will have to sit down and listen to the whole track.

They sure have chutzpah to basically declare that they gave Tolkien a lesson in writing.

 

[Joey Gunz]

Here's a dumb movie quote from Rambo: First Blood 2 :
__________________________________________________ __
Trautman: Then, what is it you want?
John Rambo: I want what they want! What every guy, came over here, spilt his guts and gave everything they had wants! For our country to love us.... as much as we... love it! That's what I want.
__________________________________________________ __
This line always made me cringe. Especially the way Stallone delivered it.

 

[James T]

"Screw you Benny!!!" said by Arnold in Total Recall just as he's putting the drill through Benny.