Becoming more outspoken (kind of long).

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Dan Whalen, Feb 10, 2002.

  1. Dan Whalen

    Dan Whalen Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2001
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    0
    Is there anything that I can do to become more outspoken? I'm a very shy person, always have been, and I just can't seem to overcome it. Last week at work I got my annual evaluation (which was very good btw[​IMG] ). My coach told me that one thing I need to work on is becomming more outspoken. During my evaluation last year, with a different coach, the same thing was brought up. I just don't know how to do it though. I absolutley hate talking in front of people, even a small group of people that I know. It's only the people that I know really well that I can act like myself in front of (I'm a total goofball[​IMG] ). Another thing that will probably seem weird is that I don't like going into places that I've never been before (like trying new restaurants). I don't know why, I just get really nervous when I do go into a new place. And I rarely ever speak my mind. Like if someone says something that is wrong I don't correct them. Or, an example: At work I've been doing the same job in our area for a month (we usually rotate). The reason I'm doing it is b/c I'm the only one that can make production while doing it, and I don't mess everything up. Well there is this high school kid that works with me, and every day last week he said something to me about it, like I'm a suckup or something to that effect. There were many things that ran through my head when he said that, of things I could have said to him, but I didn't say anything. I just looked at him and shook my head. Or if I do end up saying something to someone, my face immediately becomes red, and I get all hot like I'm embarrased.
    What do you all think? Is there anything that I can to do overcome my shyness, or am I destined to live a life of being quiet and not speaking my mind? I'll take any suggestions, tips, or thoughts. Thanks for everyone's time and sorry for the long post.
    Dan
     
  2. Trace Downing

    Trace Downing Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 1999
    Messages:
    510
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa Bay
    Real Name:
    Trace Downing
    There are a few things you can do, but as with most things in life, you'll have to step out of your comfort zone to do them.
    First, Sign up at a CC or other school, for Speech class. This is the best way to overcome your fear of public speaking. If you can afford the time, take Drama as well. Drama is easier, because you get to be someone else, the hard part is to memorize your lines. Don't be King Lear your first time out...trust me.
    Make a concious effort to engage strangers in conversation. It doesn't have to be deep and meaningful. a "Nice weather today" at a prak bench, or "look at what Nicole Kidman is up to now" at the grocery checkout line, as your pointing to The Globe. The next time this snot-nosed kid makes any kind of comment about himself, or anything, have a pre-memorized response handy, and throw it back in his face. You do this enough times, then that snappy comebacks will become second nature, and you can think of them much quicker.
    Eventually, you can become a flippant smartass like me![​IMG]
     
  3. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2001
    Messages:
    1,512
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have the same problem with shyness. In school I always worked better alone tahn in groups, and would get bad grades for speaking in front of class. Now I try my best best to speak up. I never used to though. I found that if I didn't speak up, I didn't get what I wanted or make any friends. I have a couple friends now. It's hard to overcome, but once you do it makes it easier. I'm still extremely shy around girls.
     
  4. Andrew V

    Andrew V Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    May 11, 2000
    Messages:
    197
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would say the best way to overcome your shyness is to start hanging around people who are loud and comical. This is how I was able to come out of my shell. Now, I’m a totally different person then I used to be. Probably the main reason I was shy was because I was concerned what others would think of what I said. Nowadays, I could careless.
     
  5. DaveF

    DaveF Moderator
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2001
    Messages:
    17,962
    Likes Received:
    1,540
    Location:
    One Loudoun, Ashburn, VA
    Real Name:
    David Fischer
     
  6. PatrickM

    PatrickM Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2000
    Messages:
    1,138
    Likes Received:
    0
    I second Dave's suggestion on Toastmasters. I am not part of Toastmasters since I have absolutely no problem speaking out in front of any number of people (could be construed as cockiness [​IMG] ) but my friend who is not so outspoken has done this for the past three years and is much better at speaking out in group meetings or even leading meetings.
    Patrick
     
  7. NickSo

    NickSo Producer

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2000
    Messages:
    4,260
    Likes Received:
    0
    Real Name:
    Nick So
    Wow, dan, thats like EXACTLY how I am... I know how you feel... and its even harder in my case coz 90% of my brain power is concentrated on the opposite sex :p), who i can hardly talk to because im ME... :b

    but im more comfortable talking to total strangers who i wont see again, since im not trying to make an impression or anything, i can just talk...

    its the friends and stuff who i cant speak in front of.. only really really close friends i can truly open my mind to...
     
  8. Brian Harnish

    Brian Harnish Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    1,216
    Likes Received:
    0
    I really don't have that problem with speaking in public (in fact, I often got excellent grades in High School for my oral reports). However, my main problem is with girls. If it's a girl I really like, it always takes me a few months to gather up enough courage to ask her out. Then I always get the same response. It's always some form of rejection -- all the time. The weird thing is that I'm fine talking to a girl I really like -- it's just that when it comes to asking her to hang out with me or something like that that I get cold feet.

    I really wish I could become the guys that could blow it of like it was nothing. But it usually takes me 6 months - a year to get the courage to ask a different girl out again after the rejection. How can I overcome this shyness and fear of rejection?
     

Share This Page