BAD ideas for sequels. (2 Viewers)

[Paul_D]

Rouge River With the cutting edge digital techniques now available to filmmakers, a wholly digital John Wayne has been created for this Red River sequal. Ahmed Best is brought in to do the voice.
It's a Wonderful Life 2: Who Shot George Bailey? Some dipshit producer in Hollywood liked the idea of the 'Killing Spree' ending to the original that they came up with on The Simpsons. And then filmed it in its own sequel. Jon Lovitz plays Geogre Bailey. To make his shooting more believable.
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Deleted Scenes Bitterly angry at New Line for failing to provide the deleted scenes on the DVD, Twin Peaks fans unite and construct the original Twin Peaks sets from scratch, and act out the said scenes, creating a whole new film.
An American Werewolf in the domestic state of Delaware Some descendent of the original werewolf bunch mysteriously contracts the disease. And after a magnificent transformation sequence, rampages around Delaware, in totally uncinematic fashion.
Yellow Streak Martin Lawrence loses a diamond down the crack of Big Momma's ass. Osmosis Jones style comedy combination of animation and live action. Lawrence plays every character.
Dude, where's my copy of Variety? The inept duo enter the industry and get hired as WB studio executives. On their way up the corporate ladder, they spend a period in the DVD department. Actaully this one doesn't sound so bad.

 

[Dome Vongvises]

Battleship Pokemon
- The ghost of Sergei Eisenstein creates this tale of horror where he subjects present-day Russia to "montages" of scenes from the Pokemon cartoon.
The Goonies II
- Mikey must go on a journey to rescue six friends and a mermaid and.....oh wait, that was a video game. A lot of fun though, but it would've made a terrible movie.

 

[Malcolm R]

Dude, where's my copy of Variety? The inept dudes enter the industry and get hired as WB studio executives. On their way up the corporate ladder, they spend a period in the DVD department.

That wouldn't be a sequel, it would be a documentary.

 

[Ken_McAlinden]

Song of the South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Regards,

 

[Angelo_Petralba]

JEEPERS STRIPPERS the Monster wants a BOOB job!
FULLY BAKED Mr. Niceguy meets George Jung

 

[Colin Dunn]

Battlefield Earth 2 - I hope the rumors of a sequel are just that, rumors...

Virtuosity 2 - anyone who's seen the crap-tastic original knows a sequel would be even worse than Battlefield Earth. But suppose they made this: a computer-generated serial killer develops exceptional musical abilities. He composes deathly ugly avant-garde "music" that kills audiences. But then a cop (played by Denzel Washington) seeks revenge after one of his fellow officers is slain at one of these "concerts"...

 

[Nate Anderson]

Narcolepsy in New York- After finding happiness with Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks finds he has difficulty staying awake. Many nutty dream sequences ensue.

 

[Ryan L B]

American Pie 3- all of the charachters get laid, and this time Jim orders PPV XXX movies and his parents catch him once again, and the Dad decides to give him "the talk"

 

[Paul_D]

American Psycho 2: It Wasn't a Dream After All Patrick Bateman gets every more confused when his monstrous killing spree suddenly becomes real, and he gets 40 consecutive life-sentences. The satiric glimpses of 80s maximum security prison life include Bateman's arguments with the cons working in the laundry who can't get the semen stains out of his Cerruti bed sheets, and the giddly thrill of 'shivving' a prisoner in the yard because he's got a better criminal card!
Planet of the Apes 2001 2: Return to the Bullshit Planet In the opening scenes its revealed that Wahlberg hadn't even left the monkey planet at the end of the first, and his visions of a Simian Earth had been a result of a bad acid flashback. The rest of the film looks at his attempts to integrate himself into the ape population. Contains simian-human sex.
Legally Blonde 2: Bad Hair Day Elle Woods is disbarred after being prosecuted for attempting to bribe a supreme court justice. She becomes an actress, and joins the cast of Ally McBeal.
Evil Dead 4: Pricecheck Isle 5 After ridding the entire world past and present of the Deadites, Ash concentrates on his career. The climax of the film features Ash being made assistant manager of S-Mart. "Shop smart."
Zombie Flesh Eaters: The TV Cut So different is this network television version of Luci's zombie flick, that its considered by all to be a sequal. Contains the horrific sights of a zombie grabbing a human's arm!!! , the sound of gunshots, and plenty of totally-clad human flesh.
Money Train 2 You don't need to think up a silly plotline to see that this would be a bad idea.

 

[Jimmy Kilgour]

A PRE/PRO WHEN? - A sequel to Apocalypse Now where Capt. Willard waits impatiently in the jungles of suburban America waiting for the latest audio offering from Outlaw.

I STILL KNOW WHAT YOU DID 2 OR 3 SUMMERS AGO - Jennifer Love Hewitt in a tank top-again.Probably worth a look.

THE NEXT TO LAST MAN STANDING - Bruce Willis kills 165 bad guys-the only problem is there are 166 bad guys.

CARROT TOP'S WAY - Al Pacino in an orange wig telling bad jokes and making annoying TV commercials.

 

[Andrew 'Ange Hamm' Hamm]

Breakin 3: Electric Fiddle-dee-dee
When Harry Met Jeffrey and Sally Liked to Watch
The Second-Greatest Story Ever Told.
Dogma 2. That's it. No joke needed.
Dream Theater's Metropolis Part 3: Scenes From A Mall Directed by Woody Allen, but with ripping guitar solos.
Tommy 2 Tommy is 90 years old and plays pinball by taking off his bifocals and removing his hearing aid and false teeth.
If "The Wrath of Khan" works as a subtitle to every sequel, so does "Electric Boogaloo." Because it rhymes, you see.
Forrest Gump 2: Electric Boogaloo
Pulp Fiction 2: Electric Boogaloo
Moulin Rouge 2: Electric Boogaloo
Ben-Hur 2: Electric Boogaloo
Quadrophenia 2: Electric Boogaloo
Les Miserables 2: Electric Boogaloo
Meet Me in St Louis 2: Electric Boogaloo
Citizen Kane 2: Electric Boogaloo
Glory 2: Electric Boogaloo
Dark City 2: Electric Boogaloo
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves 2: Electric Boogaloo

 

[Dan Brecher]

Forrest Gump 2: How can the Same Shit Happen to the same Guy Twice So mundane has his life become, Forrest (with his son played by Haley Joel Osment) heads out to re-create the events of his own forgotten past. Laugh as they try to break into the white house to meet the president, cry as Forrest tries to start another Vietnam war...
Magnolia 2: It's a Small World After All The cast of characters realise life's actually not so bad and each decide to take a day trip out to Disneyland only for their experiences at the park to interconnect with hilarious consiquences.
Armageddon 2: The Rock After Bruce Willis is found alive and well (having sailed down to earth on a broken fragment of the first asteroid in the last movie) an even more pissed off Billy Bob Thornton realises there is in fact a bigger rock on the way, and who better to help tackle the rock this time round then Sean Connery and Nic Cage. Gasp as two Bruckheimer/Bay movies colide!
Bored of the Rings Peter Jackson realises he's wasted his time and decides not to release the final two parts in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Join him, talking in front of a tree for six hours to find out why he handed the project over to McG to reshoot.
Dan

 

[Guy_K]

The 7th Sense - Cole realizes that he can talk to animals.

Born on the 5th of July - Ron Kovich's son is a patriot, and fights in the Korean War, with the same results as his father.

Breakable - This film follows a parallel David Dunn's early days as well as Mr. Glass. Dunn gets into numerous accidents, and fights, leaving them without a scratch on him. He never realizes this. Mr. Glass breaks his bones during a boxing match and feels sorry for himself.

The Groundhog Day Show - Sequel to The Truman Show, and Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray realizes that he didn't actually live Groundhog Day over and over. He's told that his experience was just a TV show.

 

[Paul_D]

Laugh as they try to break into the white house to meet the president, cry as Forrest tries to start another Vietnam war...

If adding Electric Boogaloo or The Wrath of Khan is good enough to believably convert any title to a sequal, why not try on
Operation Miami Beach
for size!

 

[Richard_D_Ramirez]

Labor Day - The aliens have learned NOT to invade the Earth during one of the most patriotic days of the year.
Gladiator 2001 - Maximus is sent back to Earth from the Elysian Fields to battle the injustices of show execs cutting off award winner's poetic speeches.
The Deer Hunter 2: The Back-From-the-Deadzone With a Watch - Nick actually survives the gunshot to the head, and starts to receive prophetic visions. One of these visions has him leaving Vietnam carrying a watch up his arse as he hunts Michael down to challenge him to a game of Russian Roulette with an automatic pistol.
The Cider House Rules 2 - Where they come up with better rules for Monopoly.
My Cousin Vinny 2 - Another Academy-esque film to prove Tomei's Oscar was no fluke.
Shakespeare in Despair: A Story About the Greatest Tragedy Definitely Told - The older Shakespeare, yet again out of ideas and cash, comes up with the plot of "King Lear" when his three daughters find ways to squander his royalties and advances.
The English Patient 2: Let's Do it Right - Laszlo finds another plane to crash so he can die and not bore audiences for another three hours.
The Silence of the Carrots - Hannibal Lecter goes vegetarian.
Rocky LXXIV - The aged Balboa is lost in a Philly mall, looking for his wife. "Aaaaaaaadrian!"
8^B

 

[Dennis Heller]

I didn't re-check the wholw thread, so sorry if this is a repeat, but I just found this:
http://www.bbspot.com/News/2002/03/Top_11_sequels.html

 

[John Odendaal]

Donnie Darko 2: Revenge of Frank
28 days later, all existence ended. Then Frank strikes back. (That's okay, the first one didn't make much sense either...)
Lord of the Rings: Revenge of Gandalf
After helping Aragorn to face the armies of Sauron, Gandalf smokes too much pipe weed, goes insane, and launches an epic counter-attack on the Shire.
Terminator 4: He's back
Arnie gets sent back in time to protect John Connor. Starring Arnie as John Connor.
Matrix 4: Tonguetied
An epic 140 minute monologue by the Architect, involving many large words. Staring Will Ferrel as the Architect.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

The Blair Witch (A.K.A. The Blair Witch Project 3): Follow the exploits of a pioneering town as they cast-out a witch. Listen to the directors commentary on how half of the effects shots were cut by the studio, thus the remaining effects shots only confuse the audience and derail the story.
The Omen 4: Appocalypse: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston-Pitt, having both sold their souls to the devil for fame, concieve of the antichrist. A blackhearted foul demon, that happens to be so good looking, It causes peoples eyes to melt. The creature takes-over the conglomerate AOL-Time-Warner-Disney-Ford-General Electric-Martha Stewart-SONY-Daihatsu-Dell-RCA-Microsoft-Apple Inc.and tries to rule the world.
But the reincarnation of Jesus (Played by Michael Clark Duncan) thwarts his plan as a DJ on a satellite-radio station.
Ghost Face vs. Snake Plisskin vs. The Undertaker (From Final Destination 1 & 2): Follows the same plot as Freddy vs. Jason, except that the characters have unlimited incarnations (Ghost Face from Scream), know everything and avoid death (The undertaker), and can shoot anything between the eyes from 500 yards with a scoped-pistol (Snake).

 

[Garrett Lundy]

I just realised something, the studios could just switch the titles from Harry Potter and James Bond Films (Both being randomly jumbled-together words), and nobody would be the wiser:
Harry Potter: Tomorrow Never Dies
James Bond 007: Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter: Diamonda are Forever
James Bond 007: Goblet of Fire
See, they work perfectly.

 

[Felipe S]

Terminator Reloaded
John Connor comes to realize his purpose as The One to save humankind from total annihilation. He now faces his biggest adversary who wants to end his existence. The T-SMITH. Through liquid metal DNA infecting, he can clone himself into anyone and anything. Arnie is sent to protect John. John dreams that the Terminator is an outdated model so he is overpowered and destroyed within the first 15 minutes of the movie. John now fully understands 'there is no fate but what we make for ourselves' and is now able to "dodge bullets" and break the laws of gravity. movie ends with a cliffhanger... has to make a choice: the terminator or humanity. whoa!